Page 85 of The Gambler Wagers Her Baron

When Mr. Brown stiffened at his question, Damon needed no further proof to know the servant had known about Payton’s masquerading ways all along, or at least during her time employed at Ashford Hall.

Before the butler could respond, Damon continued, “Please inform me immediately if either occurs. Continue to make certain my guests enjoy their evening. I will be in my study if you have need of me.”

He was in a distracted mood, and there was no reason to subject his guests to it. He was at Ashford Hall, yet longed to be somewhere else. Anywhere else, as long as Payton was close.

Making his way across the room, Damon didn’t pause to speak with anyone, nor did he look away from the ballroom doors until he arrived at them as a servant swung the thick wooden door open for him to depart.

He pressed his palm to his forehead once he was alone—the noises from the ballroom muffled—and hurried toward his study. He didn’t need to see to find the room. It was like a beacon that called him forward. A siren who sang until he was captured in her embrace.

Why had he thought a gaming night would work to distract him from Payton’s absence? To diminish his feeling of responsibility for his current situation? To reduce his guilt over the loss his children would soon be forced to face—for the second time?

Discarding his mask, Damon slumped in his chair before the hearth, his head falling into his hands, all the while, his shoulders straining for freedom under the confines of his evening coat. He’d loved Sarah, and she’d left him. Payton had come into his household and won the children’s hearts and brought light to Damon’s life…and now she was gone, too.

His chest ached with emptiness.

It shouldn’t hurt so much to be right.

Nothing in Damon’s life had gone as it should.

He would do what needed to be done—for his children.

Come morning, he’d hire one of the women he’d spoken with at Flora’s, or perhaps speak to the children about attending school away from London. Maybe they would thrive in an environment with other children, away from their disaster of a father and the shadowed memory of their mother. Even as his plan formed in his mind, the darkness that had encapsulated him so entirely before threatened to descend on him again, blocking out the light that had come with Payton’s appearance in their lives.

He didn’t want another governess, and neither would Joy and Abram.

Payton had healed their family. She’d shown them they could move forward, despite what they’d all lost. Honoring Sarah and the past they shared together did not mean forsaking his future.

Damon pushed to his feet, stripping his jacket away and discarding it on his chair.

Joy and Abram needed Payton in their lives.

Bloody hell, Damon needed her even more.

He couldn’t—wouldn’t—allow things to continue as they were. Another governess wouldn’t do, and Payton returning to Ashford Hall as a simple servant was not what he desired. She wouldn’t long for that either. He wanted more than Payton in his life to care for his children. He wanted more than to forget about her and move on. Damon had never been a man to move on easily—and for once, this would serve him well.

He only needed to discover what Payton longed for and hope it was the same as he desired.

He collected his discarded jacket, any thoughts of wallowing alone vanished.

“Don’t forget this.” Garrett held his hand out the open door of the carriage, a cream mask with ebony strings dangling from his fingers. “You might need it.”

Payton turned toward the children, eagerly waiting a few steps away before leaning back into the coach. “I am not attending the party.”

“What if someone sees you?” he demanded.

“Everyone will be in the back of the house by now with the gambling underway,” she hissed. “I will hurry the children in the front door and up the stairs to their chambers.

“Where did you find this?” As an afterthought, she’d had the mask made to match her gown, but after everything that had happened with Damon, she’d never thought to wear it.

When he didn’t respond and only jiggled the mask, Payton grabbed it.

“Tsk, tsk, dear sister.” Garrett waved his finger between them. “We both know that is not what is important here. Do don the mask, just in case.”

“Very well,” Payton said, moving away from the carriage and back to the children. “Are you ready?”

They both nodded, and the trio started for the front door.

She debated having the carriage drop them off in the alley behind Ashford Hall, but it was far more likely they’d be seen coming in through the mews than through the front door. The gambling would have begun an hour or so before, and the foyer and main staircase would be deserted. The only activity would be on the servants’ stairs.