Page 56 of Earl of St. Seville

“Shhhh.” His breath fogged between them. “Do not worry about me. It is you who is hurt, and I am the cause.”

Her stomach fluttered at his words, the emptiness within her suddenly filling as if it had never been as his lips stopped a hairsbreadth from hers. Only a mere tilt of her head and their mouths would meet. Desire pooled at her core, urging her to move and bring them together, but she hesitated when he spoke once more.

“I never meant to cause you pain, Patience,” he confessed, his brown eyes locking on hers in the night. “However, I allowed my own needs to preclude everything else.” He shook his head, their bodies breaking apart. “No, I will not make excuses for my deplorable behavior and cowardly actions.”

Cowardly? Sin was the furthest thing from that.

“Do not say such things,” Patience said, her hand finding his and squeezing it gently. His knuckles likely ached. “You are devoted to saving your family, that is a far more worthy cause than my irrational belief that I could end a sport my mother loved. I was trying to change my past, which makes no sense, while you…you were attempting to make a better future for yourself and so many others.”

“You cannot say that all you do is for the past,” he countered.

“Yes, I can, and no matter what I do, I cannot bring her back. I am only pushing those who love me away.” She shook her head, remembering the look of utter disbelief and injury on her father’s face. “I was—am—selfish.”

Her voice trembled, and Patience hated herself for it.

She was the coward. She was the one who couldn’t accept her past and move on.

“I gave you no option but to lie,” she sighed, focusing her stare on the ground between them. “I foolishly believed that my need to educate fighters about pugilism was a worthier pursuit than your mission to save your family and estate. You must think me a silly half-wit.”

“No.” He pulled his hand free from hers, and Patience wilted. “I think you are brave and overcome with compassion. Not many women would face the wrath and scorn of society for any cause, let alone for a sport so vastly popular.”

“But I persuaded you to agree to my terms.”

“I willingly agreed to your terms merely to keep seeing you,” Sin confessed. “Do not think you put me at a disadvantage. Besides, I broke at least two of them, and you have not collected on the third.”

Patience’s brow furrowed as she thought back to her demands. The first was that he would listen and heed her advice. Sin had certainly broken that rule. He would win his freedom from Holstrom, and they would work together to find a solution that did not end with Sin suffering head injuries. While he’d voiced his agreement for future matches, Sin hadn’t fought any yet. But it would be selfish of her, once again, to beg him to abstain from prizefighting.

The third…the meaning behind his name.

“Sin,” he said, as if reading her thoughts. “My younger sister, Juliette, could not say Sinclair as a babe. Sinbar…Sintar…Sincar. After months of corrections, she settled on Sin.”

“It was not because of your devilishly handsome good looks?” Patience teased.

“You think I am handsome?” he retorted, his eye widening in mock surprise.

She ignored his question but couldn’t hold back her smile. “I am pleased to know it was not given due to an adverse demeanor.”

“A handsome devil with a tendency for wicked behavior.” He rubbed his stubbly chin as a wayward lock of hair hung over one eye.

“I think you would be best described as a seafaring pirate with a delightful demeanor.”

How had he banished her dour mood so readily?

For a brief few minutes, Patience was able to forget about the dire situation awaiting her in the house. Her heart didn’t ache as it had when the rain had pelted her upturned face. She wasn’t dwelling on the thought of never seeing Sin again.

He stood before her, towered over her. And she was content to realize that his presence made her feel safe and cared for. Not overpowered and ignored.

She’d thought Sin had once and for all crushed her hopes for the future and would depart London with a piece of her heart hidden on his person.

Could it be that did not have to be her fate?

“When I told you I pondered offering myself to you in marriage—along with my sizeable dowry—I was gravely serious.” She’d dispelled the light, jesting air that had settled around them; however, Patience could not allow Sin to depart without knowing what her heart held, even if his feelings did not mirror her own.

“You would do that to keep me from fighting?” he asked.

“Partly.” Nothing in her years of getting in the fighting ring or going after the wealthiest, titled men of the peerage to plead her case had prepared her for this moment. She sensed his next question before he spoke the words—and she knew he deserved the truth.

He drew closer to her, his warmth a welcome reprieve from the night. “And the other part?”