Page 34 of The Misfortune of Lady Lucianna

“Surprisingly, there is no other place I’d rather be than right here, right now.” She stared ahead, scared to see his reaction to her forthright comment. Perhaps, it was he who wished to return her and be on his way. “Unless you have other matters to attend to?”

She risked a glance up at him from under lowered lashes. In the past, it would have been seen as coquettish, a feigned timid manner filled with doubt and reservations; but in this moment, Luci was terrified he did want to return her to her father’s townhouse and escape the trouble she’d dragged him into.

“I have not another place to be today. Or any day, for that matter, Lucianna.” He stared straight ahead, a pleasant smile overtaking his intense nature. “I think we have much to discuss, and the time is now before things progress further.”

Luci was helpless to concentrate on anything after he’d said her name—Lucianna. The name had always signified the striking, rare, courageous woman she felt like on the inside. An outward sign to others that she was not a typical, pliable, demure maiden but something far more.

A woman destined to be remembered.

For her fierce love. For her loyal nature. For her invincible pride.

Not as a woman bought and sold at the discretion of any man.

Because of those exact qualities, she needs must make amends for the wrongs she suspected she’d done to Roderick. “What were you doing at the opera that night?”

His shoulders tensed, and Luci feared she had been right all along about him, that the disparaging accusations she’d levied against him in the Gazette were not misrepresented or false, but true.

“I was there seeking information.” He kept his focus straight ahead as a coach turned onto the street and ambled by. “I was not there to be with another woman, nor did I ever seek to hurt Lady Daphne or tarnish her reputation.”

“What type of information can be found at the opera?” She’d witnessed men, like her father, seeking out the willing, nimble bodies of ladybirds. She’d once stumbled upon a couple in an intimately scandalous embrace off a well-lit path at Covent Gardens. She was not fool enough to think that the sirens littering the playhouses and outdoor parks did not tempt gentlemen.

He sighed, and she sensed that he’d made an important decision, one he’d been debating since they started their walk.

Suddenly, the breeze blew no more, the birds were eerily silent, and a cloud passed over the sun, casting a large shadow over them.

“I was there to meet the widow of my father’s best friend.” He halted and turned toward her. “I was not there to betray Lady Daphne. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“One might think it suspicious that a man would believe being seen in a very public setting with another woman on his arm would not harm the woman he is purported to love.”

Roderick rubbed his jaw and pushed his hand through his hair. “I was thinking of none of that, only securing the information I needed to…” His words trailed off, and he dropped Luci’s arm, pacing a few steps down the walk and pivoting to return and face her. “Lucianna, it was not my intention to bring Lady Daphne into the muddled mess of my life. Neither did I plan to levy that weight upon you. My family, everything my ancestors worked so hard for, was taken…and I have charged myself with getting it back.”

Luci understood him a bit more in that moment. Roderick was searching for something, much like she was searching. “While that is very kind of you, it is my decision, as your betrothed, to decide what burdens I share with you and which ones I leave on your shoulders. I have little doubt we can assist one another.”

He looked away, focusing on a house farther down the lane, and Luci feared it would be the end of their discussion. He would share no more and would refuse her help.

“I need to be honest with you. When I decided to offer for your hand, it was done out of a sense of vengeance, a need to hurt you—to take away your opportunity at a match of your choosing—much like your post in the Mayfair Confidential did to me.”

He kept his eyes averted, but Luci was helpless to look away from the pain etched across his face.

She should feel an immense betrayal at his confession, laced with anger and outright indignation at his deceptive plans; however, none of these filled her.

“I know,” she admitted. She’d known from the time she walked into his study with her father, though she’d tried to deny it, even to herself. “But what do you seek to gain from our marriage now?” Luci had little doubt Roderick would one day be her husband, the man who would protect her for the rest of her days.

And she longed to do the same for him.

His breath left him in a loud whoosh. “I wish I knew, Lucianna. Unfortunately, I’ve lived my life one day at a time since my father passed away, never planning past tomorrow because, well, the future is too bloody unpredictable. I thought I had things figured out that night at the opera, or at least, the means to sort through everything. But just as quickly, it was all stripped away.”

“By my hand.” Luci glanced down at the ground, ashamed of her part in ending his previous betrothal. “I am sorry you lost Lady Daphne.”

He placed his hand beneath her chin and lifted her face, their eyes meeting. “While I cared for Lady Daphne—she is a sweet girl, everything that most lords require in a wife—we had nothing but a friendly fondness for one another. Love was not a part of our association, or at least, it hadn’t matured to that point before our match was called off.”

Roderick caressed her cheek, and Luci’s eyes drifted closed, the warmth of the sun returning, his touch seemingly pushing the clouds away. It should seem scandalous to be so connected to this man, all while he spoke of his past fondness for another woman.

“In all our time together, I never felt for Lady Daphne what I’ve come to feel for you in the past several days,” he confided. He placed a delicate kiss on her forehead before his hands fell away. “A coach is coming.”

The words escaped him on a sigh.

Roderick had wanted to say more—and Luci was desperate to hear it.