Page 72 of Wild Abandon

“There are a lot of things I’d like to try, but I don’t go around changing the course of other people’s lives because I’m acting on a whim.”

He is making no sense, and it’s really pissing me off.

“Why do you care who I date? Or where I work? Or what I do, period? You already told me to stay away from you. This, here…it’s just…” I can’t even find the right words. “It’s plain cruel.”

Nate stops and leans against the wall. He takes his hat off and rubs his head in aggravation. His hair is longer by an inch or so than it was the first time I met him. He places his hat back on his head and then looks back at me, remorse in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” I’m exasperated.

He lets out a deep sigh. “For treating you the way I did. The way I have. You don’t deserve that.”

“Damn right I don’t,” I throw in, as if I’m arguing with him on the subject even though he just apologized.

We stand there for a moment, a standoff of looks and sighs and one person starting to say something but then stopping when the other starts to talk as well. We have so much to say yet absolutely nothing to talk about.

Nate finally breaks our stare-off and then looks down at what I’m wearing. His eyes widen slightly in appreciation. “You look nice.”

“Thanks.” I don’t know what more I would hope for him to say. Fucking beautiful.

“Brent’s a good guy. If you like him, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I look down and kick a few scattered pebbles on the ground. “I don’t know how much I like him. He asked me to go away with him this weekend. I think I’m gonna go.”

Nate nods and kicks the same pebbles. “Going away. That’s a big step for someone you don’t know how much you like.”

I agree but don’t argue. I look at Nate. He looks so out of place. Vulnerable and unsure like this. It’s not the same guy I was friends with. I stand up straight, square my shoulders, and decide to be the one to attack the giant elephant in the room—or alleyway. Whatever.

“I understand you have a girlfriend.” He pops his head up and I continue, “I respect that. And the fact that you pulled away from whatever that was happening between us in the poolroom…well, that just makes me respect you even more. You have morals.”

“Crystal, I —”

“Let me finish.” I want to get this out before he says something to ruin it. “Before you started pushing me away, we were having a good time. I know I seem like the type who will talk to anyone, but I choose to confide in only a few. I like you. As a friend. We don’t need to be best friends, and I understand our wine-tasting adventures won’t happen again. But I’d like it if I could go to Henley’s again and say hi.”

“You can do more than just say hi, Crystal.” Nate moves off the wall and comes closer to me. “I like you, too. As a friend. And I promise, I won’t push you away.” He smiles and then adds, “Or follow you into restaurants.”

I grin. “Yeah, what the hell is that all about?”

“I saw you, and…it doesn’t matter. I felt like shit about the last time I saw you.” He then corrects himself, “The last two times I saw you.”

We are standing so close. Too close. Closer than a man and a woman who are just friends are supposed to be standing. But I don’t move back. Neither does he.

“So, I guess I’ll see you when I get back from Tahoe,” I say, my voice a whisper, as I stare into the sea of olive green.

Nate swallows and nods his head. “Tahoe.”

“Tahoe,” I repeat. Then, I remember I have a date waiting for me inside. Reluctantly, I back up and make my way toward the door.

Nate grabs my hand, and with a powerful force, like a magnet being pulled to its opposite, I swing around to face him, colliding with his chest and feeling his heart beat in unison with mine.

“Go somewhere with me. Tomorrow,” he says. His eyes are searching mine, worried.

Worried I might say no.

I should say no. I know Nate. He runs. He hides. He pushes away.

But I can’t say no to him.

So, I say, “Yes.”