Page 101 of A Really Bad Idea

With my arms crossed in front of my body, I lean my weight on my hip and give him my best scowl. “How did you think that would play out?”

“I didn’t think. I just came here. I needed to see you.”

It has been a long time since Brock has needed anything from me other than to sign papers that would free him of our marriage. Actually, that’s a lie. He’s wanted to talk at various moments—usually when he’s drunk after a big loss. I only picked up once and regretted it. His neediness had me wanting to run to his side and save him from himself. After that, I let the calls go to voice mail. He never said much. Just spewed out a memory of ours—some good, some bad—and then hung up. He hasn’t called in about six months.

“This is so like you!” I practically spit at him. “You do whatever comes to mind because it’s what Brock wants to do. You want to jet to Maine so that you can have lobster for dinner with your teammate, so you book a plane and tell your wife after you’ve landed. See a nice watch on some guy’s wrist, and you decide, Hell, I’ll drop fifty grand, depleting our checking account. A hot blonde wants to hop in bed with you, you say, Screw my vows. I want to get laid tonight.”

Judging by the glares of the people around me and the sight of a mother covering her young child’s ears, I know my voice is a little too loud.

I rein it in and resort to a whisper-yell, “Now, I’ll add, I feel like seeing Meadow today. Who cares that she’s stressed with her mom dying in a hospital bed? I’m just gonna waltz up there and disrupt her family in their very emotional moment.”

“I’m an asshole,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Yeah,” I agree with him.

“An insensitive asshole.”

I look to the ceiling and let out an exasperated sigh. “It doesn’t help when you take the onus of the situation.”

“You look good.” He’s playing with the ring on his hand. It’s a thick gold ring his grandfather gave him when he made the pros.

“You already told me that when you saw me at Starbucks.” I look to the side in annoyance.

“I was surprised to see you there.”

“Seriously?” My tone is accusatory. “It’s the one across from my office.”

“I wasn’t thinking,” he says, and I open my mouth, ready to verbally pounce on how much he never thinks, but he holds his hands up in defense. “I know; I know. I never think.”

“Stop agreeing with me. It’s making it hard for me to maintain this bitchy persona.”

He laughs to himself and smiles that roguish grin. I used to love that grin.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that day. Seeing you shook me up. Got me remembering how good my life was.”

I take a step back and look away, up into the air, as I widen my eyes to temper the tingling building behind the sockets, just ready to burst with the onslaught of emotions that this week has brought on and which I’ve done a great job of suppressing. “We are not doing this—”

“I miss our life.”

And there goes the teary-eyed feeling, and in its place is rage. I’ve been suppressing a lot of that, too.

I take a fighting stance, my teeth grinding to the point that I’m going to need orthodontics, and viciously point at him, my cheeks reddening and my brows curving in annoyance. “You’re too late for that. Jesus, Brock, do you have any idea what you saying that does to me? It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I’ve dreamed about the day you’d regret losing me. And sad because it makes me remember how it felt when you didn’t regret hurting me. You can’t do this to a person. It’s rude and selfish, and I could never, ever take you back.”

“I’m not here to get you back. I know I fucked it up,” he says calmly.

I throw my hands up and drop them in surrender. “Then, why are you here?”

“I need your advice.” He fidgets with his ring again. His eyes look at the floor before rising, and he says in the most unsure way, “I’m going to be a dad.”

My hands fly to my mouth in a praying position.

“A woman I met on the road. From Boston. She’s pregnant. I don’t know what to do.”

From emotional to angry to downright defeated, my mind is betraying me at a rapid pace.

Brock is having a baby with another woman.

The man I planned a life with is having a child with someone else. I knew this would happen. I wasn’t prepared for it to come in the form of him telling me he needed my advice.