Page 36 of Tanner

“Yes, you told me you were named after Harper Lee,” he says with an air of amazement.

“You’re the first person to think that’s cool.”

“It’s fucking baller,” he says a little too loudly, and I hit him in the chest to be quiet.

“Anyway, she read it to me, and we did that every week until I was old enough to read on my own. As the years went on, our tradition became so routine; it was hard for her to mess up when she started forgetting things. Some days, she would need to lie down and ask me to read to her. It took a long time for me to realize she hadn’t been instilling her passion for literature into me because she wanted something to share with me. She had known she wasn’t going to be around long enough to teach me life’s greatest lessons. She gave me an outlet for the pain. I haven’t had a conversation with my mother—as my actual mother and not a shell of the woman she once was—in over five years.” I blow out through my mouth to tame my emotions. “You asked if she had passed. The answer is no, but, in many ways, it feels like she has.”

“Where is she now?”

“Home. My father takes care of her. He is a saint. He loves a woman who doesn’t even know who he is and cares for her as if they were newlyweds. It’s hard for me to go home and see her, but I try to make it back as much as possible to help him out.”

Tanner’s hand reaches forward and swipes at a rogue tear that fell down my cheek. “You’re a good daughter.”

I shake my head. “Enough about me. What about you? I bet you have a kick-ass mom who has a regular membership to a Napa winery and curates a museum and every other awesome thing you can do in San Francisco.”

His face is turned down in a frown.

My stomach turns. “Please don’t tell me you lost your mom.”

He nods, and I instantly reach out to touch his arm.

“Oh, Tanner, I’m so sorry. Here I am, bitching about my life when … when did she pass?”

He looks up in thought. “Eight years ago.”

“May I ask how?”

He takes a deep breath in, exhaling slowly. “Car accident. She drove off the side of a cliff.”

“Tanner,” I say breathlessly.

He purses his lips and nods slowly. “A deer jumped in front of her. She was alone, so …” He stops, slightly shaking his head, as if trying to rid the feelings that must have come rushing back. He nods to himself, sitting back in his chair and taking a deep breath while looking around. “Holding on to the memories is sometimes the best way to heal.”

We glance at each other, letting the heavy feeling subside for a few breaths.

“Didn’t you say you were moving back to San Francisco to work for your family business?”

“Nice to know you were paying attention when we first met.”

“I remember everything you told me. You’re too interesting not to remember.”

My honesty is rewarded with a perfect Tanner smile.

“When are you moving back?” I ask.

“In a few weeks. I’ll be home in time for Christmas.”

My heart sags a little at the idea that Tanner will be gone in a few short weeks. I put on a fake smile. “At least you’ll be with family.” He rolls his eyes, and I laugh lightly. “You don’t seem too excited.”

“It’s a complicated story.”

“I’d like to hear it.”

He seems surprised by my admission.

He tilts his head to the side, thinking. “My family business is all-consuming. My brothers wanted me to live my life first. Actually, it was Austin’s idea. He didn’t want me to get sucked into the business life until I was ready. I guess he wanted me to see what else was out there before I dedicated my life to them.”

“Dedicate your life? You make it sound like a prison sentence.”