Page 51 of True Abandon

She pats me on the arm and gives it a little rub. “Soon, you will see. Very soon.”

chapter ELEVEN

One of the beautiful things about Hawaii is that every day is like waking up on vacation. Just sitting up in bed bathing in the Polynesian sunshine—the island welcomes me daily. I stretch, reaching high toward the ceiling and give myself a morning shake.

Standing, I look in the mirror finding my hair a tattered mess and yesterday’s mascara smudged under my lids. Still, I give myself a nod and a quirky grin. “Today will be a good day.” My reflection agrees.

Wrapping myself in my thick, oversized robe, I walk into the hallway, unsure if Kelli has unexpected company. Most days I’m up and out of the apartment well before she’s awake, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been surprised by a rogue man on my couch eating Anatolia Granola in his boxers. We may have left Manhattan, but some things never change.

Luckily, the apartment is empty, and Kelli is still fast asleep in her room.

I walk into the bathroom and start my morning routine. Once I’m freshly showered, I slide into white shorts and a V-neck polo. When I finish my French braid, I apply extra thick mascara to my lashes. After stepping into my Doc Martens, I appraise myself in the mirror. My appearance says I’m a well-put-together woman who is confident at her job and self-assured—if only people knew what went on beneath the exterior.

“You got this,” I say to myself as I head out the door.

I hop into my Wrangler and start my commute toward the Kauai Princess. The drive takes me down Maluhia Road where a beautiful canopy of eucalyptus trees line the shoulder creating a tree tunnel. The sun peeks through the leaves as I drive down with my windows open and feel the wind on my skin.

“Good morning,” I greet Lani as I walk up to the reception desk. “You look well-rested for someone who went out last night.

She scrunches her perky, little nose. “I asked Jason to bring me home early. Tutu got in my head.” Her bangle bracelets bang on the desk as she talks. “It’s not a good thing when your grandmother is in your head while you’re giving head.”

I try to cover my ears, but it’s no use.

“She’s of the older generation. She expects people to behave a certain way,” I say sincerely. “She means well.”

In melodramatic fashion, she throws her hands up to the gods. “Why do I have to belong to a culture that values their elders as much as we do.”

“I think I’m following.”

Her hands drop to her sides as she explains, “I told Jason we cannot be intimate anymore until he meets my Tutu.”

“And he said no?”

“That’s the problem. He said yes! As in he’d be honored to meet my Tutu. As in, this relationship is going in a serious direction. As in, he’s kind of ecstatic about it.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“Is it? Am I a one man kinda girl? I just started my sexual journey. I should be having one-night stands and trying on boyfriends like I would new pants. How many men have you been with? Four?”

I want to tell her she’s right, but my sex life is not what we should be discussing right now. “You should experiment a little, but don’t just try on any pair of pants. Stick to the cotton, dependable ones. Silk may look good, but it’s a bitch to keep clean.”

“Don’t mock my troubles—or my analogies.”

With a small laugh, I have a hard time concealing, I walk around the desk and give her a hug. At the end of our embrace, I grab onto her shoulders and tell her, “Jason’s not proposing marriage. He just wants to meet Auli’i. It’ll be fine.”

She gives a reassuring nod. “Will you come?”

“Me? Why? That would be weird.”

She grabs onto my hand and pleads with her eyes. “No. It’ll make it easier. How’s Wednesday? Please, come and be the buffer, so Jason doesn’t freak out and leave me because he thinks my grandmother is too intense?”

“I thought you were concerned he was going to want to get married? You need to prioritize your freak outs. It’s hard to keep track.”

“I don’t like any of it.”

“Did you really start thinking of your grandmother while, you know…”

“It was awful. And then he asked me what was on my mind, so I told him and well,” she lifts a finger in the air and then slowly curls it down until it’s wilted. “It was sad.”