Page 37 of Stealing a Kilted Heart

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“Why dae we always come tae these things?” Bane mumbled as he and Fia walked into the great hall that night to celebrate the birth of the son of one of the council members.

Fia couldn’t help but ask herself the same thing; neither of them was familiar with the man and though some of the other castle workers, like the blacksmith and the marshal, were also in attendance, Fia didn’t know why the laird insisted on inviting her and Bane when they clearly didn’t blend in with the rest of the crowd. Perhaps in a few years, if they managed to retain their positions for that long, they would be able to walk among the nobles with the same grace and knowledge of customs, but as it were, now they stuck out like a sore thumb, not so much because of their more humble, plainer clothing, but rather because they themselves didn’t feel like they belonged there at all.

The entire great hall buzzed with excitement and conversation and laughter, the ladies dressed in colorful garments and jewels that glittered under the light of the chandeliers and the candelabras. The men, too, wore their finest clothes, and though for them it was just another feast, Fia couldn’t even begin to imagine how much such clothes could cost and how many mouths they could feed instead of using all that gold for ornamentation. The wine flowed freely around the tables, which seemed to buckle under the weight of all the food placed atop them. The musicians played tirelessly, filling the room with their sweet, lively tunes, and under any other circumstances, Fia may have enjoyed herself immensely, just as she had at the feasts held in the village.

This was not her village, though, and those people weren’t her neighbors. More than ever, she was acutely aware of the difference between herself and them, especially when she realized that she and Bane were drawing the gazes of the nobles around them, who openly stared. Never once did they try to hide it. Never once did they stop to think that they were making the two of them uncomfortable, unwelcoming as they were.

But they had been invited there, and so there they were trying their best to brave the storm.

“It’s fine,” said Fia, swallowing around the knot in her throat. The only lifeline she had was Bane, but with him, too, in such a state, it was impossible for them to calm each other. They only ended up feeding off each other’s nervousness, and she could only hope that the whole affair wouldn’t last too long.

Maybe we can slip away undetected. Why would anyone even pay any attention now that we have made an appearance?

The nobles wouldn’t care about them leaving early. She doubted any of them would even notice, absorbed as they were in their own conversations and their own worlds. She and Bane would only have to be present for a short while, just long enough to honor the council member and his wife, and then they could disappear without a word to anyone.

Or at least it would have been that simple, Fia thought, had Laird Stuart not spotted them right away upon their arrival.

Fia cursed under her breath. She had hoped that Knox would keep his distance after everything that had happened between them, but even now, he was walking towards her with a smile on his face, as though she had never once acted cold and distant towards him.

Did he not care about her behavior at all, she wondered? Did he not mind that she had done everything in her power to avoid him and make it known that she didn’t wish to be around him?

Or had she only been fooling herself? Maybe her attempts at avoiding him had not been as clear or as forceful as she liked to think and she was, in fact, too weak and too lovelorn to make it clear that she wanted him to stay away.

When did I start trying tae push him away instead of pulling him closer?

“Welcome,” said Laird Stuart as he reached them, giving them both a small bow of the head in greeting. Fia and Bane bowed to him, though deeper, befitting a laird. Fia was only glad that she had managed to get the hang of a curtsy without embarrassing herself anymore. Slowly yet steadily, she was becoming a proper inhabitant of the castle.

Once, she would have marveled at such a thought. She would have worked tirelessly for it, for a chance to become an integral and inextricable part of the castle, but now she didn’t know if it was something she wanted anymore. She missed her home, the village, or rather, she missed the simplicity of living there and this feeling that she truly belonged, that she was among her people. She had gone to the castle for all the wrong reasons and she was realizing it more every day.

“Thank ye fer invitin’ us, me laird,” said Fia as she tried to pull herself together. Thinking about the village and her old life didn’t serve her at that moment. She had made her choice and she had to follow through. “It is truly a lovely feast.”

“I’m glad ye’re enjoyin’ it,” said Knox. “Please… take a seat, have some food an’ wine. The cooks have been workin’ all day preparin’.”

Days rather, Fia thought. There was no way they could have prepared all that food in merely a day, but of course, Laird Stuart couldn’t know that.

Even as she and Bane took their seats at the very edges of the room, next to some minor nobles, Laird Stuart seemed to be staying close by. He was still milling about the tables, talking to and entertaining his guests, but Fia could feel his gaze on her like a beam of light that always followed her, no matter how she moved.

She couldn’t help but fidget under the attention, indirect as it was. She couldn’t sit still on the wooden bench, nor could she focus on the people around her, only half-hearing what one of the women at the table was telling her.

“Did ye ken, Miss MacKenzie is from Duror,” the woman told another guest, the man who sat across from her and next to Bane.

“From Duror?” the man asked. “How odd fer such a dreary place tae produce such a lovely lass.”

“What is the matter with Duror?”

Fia spoke before she could stop herself, drawing all the gazes around her towards her. Bane shifted uncomfortably next to her, his gaze flitting back and forth between her and the man, who was now stammering, trying to come up with something to say.

“Naethin’, o’ course,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender. “I merely meant that it is nae quite as nice as Castle Stuart.”

“Aye,” said Fia bitterly. “’Tis rather kent that castles are, in fact, nicer than poor villages.”

Silence settled heavily over the table, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She had heard so many comments while there. She had received so many stares, so many questioning looks. She knew she and Bane didn’t fit in at all among all those opulent men and women, but she didn’t need to be reminded of it every second of every day. Sometimes, it felt as though Callum was still there, lingering over her shoulder, reminding her just how worthless and meaningless she was.

Before anyone could add anything, Knox appeared in her peripheral vision as though he had been summoned or as if he could feel the charged energy at their table. He sauntered over with the confidence and ease of a man who knew he would have the last word in any argument in the room. But just as Fia thought he would try to calm the nobles with soothing words, he instead offered his hand to her.

“May I have this dance, Miss MacKenzie?”