Page 71 of The Highlander’s Tempting Touch

The letter was everything she’d hoped to receive from him, and more. She could feel the love and care suffusing every word.

She felt relief for her clan too, that the repairs would be done, and there would be no holes in the battlements, or cracks in the walls to let the chill winds through.

She felt grief, that she would likely not see her father until spring - it was already growing cold, and the journey wasn’t an easy one, not even in good weather. With winter closing in, it was likely that even if she sent another letter begging him to come, he’d not be able to make the journey before the snows closed in.

Still, he was thinking of her, and that was a comfort. He had sent her his blessing and his love, and she felt both relieved and happy to have both, even if her heart ached for the warmth of his embrace, and the sound of his low, rough bear-like voice.

Her gaze slid to the other letter, the one addressed to her mother. Niamh bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth as she considered it.

On any other year, she’d have already known the contents, for she and her father had always written them together before this year. But now, the words were a mystery, and she was curious.

However, she knew it was rude to read a letter written to another, especially one that was still sealed. It didn’t matter if the letter was meant to be sent to the spirits, the truth was still the same. In fact, it might be more important, given that the words were meant to cross to those waiting beyond the veil to the next life.

On the other hand, she had always been privy to such letters before. And surely her mother wouldn’t mind? Why should she?

She wrestled with her thoughts for several moments, then curiosity won out. She held the letter close to the fire until the wax softened, then gently peeled the seal away and opened the missive, which seemed not much shorter than her own.

What she read made her heart ache and brought her to tears once again.

Me Beloved Kathleen,

I write this letter tae ye without Niamh’s aid this year and pray ye willnae be too angered with me fer the decision I have made.

I have married our daughter tae Laird MacDuff, laird and kin tae the clan that ye fled from when ye married me. I did this so that Cameron Clan might be warm and safe in the winter, and in the coming spring - and because yer kinfolk would only aid us if I wed Naimh tae a Highland man, and there was nae one else I could bear tae even consider trusting with the precious child ye gave tae me.

‘Twas the hardest thing I have ever done, and the worst choice I’ve ever been forced tae make. And though I think Niamh has forgiven me, I dinnae ken how long it will be before I forgive meself, for I all but tricked her intae the marriage.

Och, Kathleen, it broke me heart tae act so, but she’s always been so afraid tae seek love and joy fer herself ever since she kent the way we lost ye. I want her tae be happy, tae live a life so full o’ joy that nae even the gods or the Fair Folk could find aught tae make it more complete, and I’ve always feared that her fear would keep her from the happiness she deserves.

Have I done well by her? Time will tell. I can only say Laird MacDuff seems an honorable man, and that, when last I heard from her, yer daughter said she’d found a welcome among yer kinfolk and her husband’s clan.

Och, Kathleen… I wish so much for her, more than I have words tae speak or tae write. She is the light o’ me life, and even the grief o’ losin’ ye didnae shadow the light and the love that filled me the first time I held her in me arms. She’s me world, but now I have given the shining jewel, the greatest part o’ me life and me clan intae the hands o’ another man, and I must trust him nae tae shatter it.

Watch over her, I pray ye. Protect her, as I nay longer can. I pray she feels yer love and light in every breath she takes, and that her time among yer kinfolk will allow her tae ken ye in a way I could never show her.

With all me heart, beloved, I have only one wish tae send tae ye, or mayhap two.

I pray ye forgive me, if this decision angers ye, if it was nae what I should have done fer our beloved Niamh.

I pray ye are with her now, tae continue tae shelter her in yer love and warmth, and may she, with yer guidance, find all the peace and joy that both o’ us have ever wished fer her.

Be there, with all yer love, and guard her in me stead, me love. If I never feel yer presence again, ‘twill be enough if I can only see Niamh find her way tae the happiness she deserves, fer I ken that such joy will include yer blessings and yer love, as they always have.

All Me Love and Devotion, Yers Til the End o’ Time,

Bruce

Her father’s letter to her had been emotional. The letter to her mother was heartbreaking, and Niamh could scarcely see through her tears as she stuck the wax seal carefully back in place.

She’d felt her father’s love in his letter to her, but the one he’d written to her mother - she could feel his heart bleeding into every word, every phrase. Her heart ached with love and with the pain of missing both her parents. And with the knowledge that, deeply as her father cherished her mother still, he was willing to give up any tie to her, for the sake of Niamh’s happiness.

Did her father look at her and remember the joy of holding her the first time, great enough to overpower his grief at losing his wife, every time he embraced her? If that was true, then it was a small wonder that he’d never understood her fear of having children. It must have seemed to him like fear was withholding the greatest possible joy from her life.

No wonder he had tried so hard to see her married and had wanted her to know the joy of family. For him, it was that joy that had kept him from drowning in sorrow and loss. She had never thought about it in that light. And he had never mentioned it when they shared their letter writing.

Now she knew. And it changed so much. Like the words of her father’s forgiveness, love and blessing, it was more than she’d ever expected to experience.

Niamh had no idea how long it took for her tears to dry, or the storm of emotions inside her to settle. But eventually they did, and in the aftermath, she understood two things.