Page 60 of In Bed with a Highland Brute

Och, stop thinking such things!

“We shouldnae have done it,” he whispered.

Her head jerked up, her smile vanishing fast.

“Ye regret it?”

“It is just that I fear it will make things strange between us.” He gestured between the two of them. “Ye and I have agreed on a marriage of convenience. Nothing more than that.”

“Aye, we did.” She didn’t look at him, but down at the floor.

“I just fear it may make things complicated.” He realized in shock that he didn’t want her to think he was falling in love with her. Yes, he did care for her. He couldn’t deny that, but he’d vowed never to care for a woman again, let alone a woman he was to marry.

I cannae have her thinking I love her. That pain will just be too hard tae bear. What if something were tae happen tae her?

He remembered the agony he’d been in when he’d seen her bitten by that snake. Already, she had too much control over his emotions.

“Last night we both had high emotions. We were both relieved for one another. Perhaps we were acting on that.”

“Aye, perhaps we were.” She slowly stood from the bed and turned her back, straightening her gown and her hair that had fallen down from her updo. In the morning light, those auburn locks shone. It was entrancing to look at, so much so, he found it hard to turn away. “Aye, as ye wish.” She turned back to face him. “Maybe we shouldnae have done it. I… I shall tell Wilson ye are awake so he can come and check on ye.”

She left the room and headed outside of the cottage, closing the door softly behind her.

As she retreated, Murdoch moved to the window, his eyes tracing her movements as he rubbed the bandage on his shoulder. He saw Eloise say something to Wilson, who had returned from where he had spent the night in the castle, and had herbs gathered in his arms. After they spoke, Eloise walked on toward the castle. Her head hung forward, and her pace was as fast as her ankle would allow her to go.

Maybe she will hate me for this.

Eloise stood at the side of the feasting room, watching yet another of Fergus’ celebrations for the brothers’ weddings. She could not join in with the amusement, as much as her mind told her it would be wise to do so, to continue the act. She stayed in the corner with a flagon of mead in her hand as she stared out at the celebrations.

The pipers had gathered once more with a space created in the center of the great hall for people to dance. The guards were on edge compared to last time though, and some hovered by the door, diligently attending to their duties, clearly nervous of the Douglas clan returning.

I am still nae certain those men were from the Douglas clan. Another could have sent them.

Eloise kept the thought to herself as she leaned on the wall behind a standing candelabra, trying to mask her body from the other revelers.

There were many in the room that were happy. Ian and Aila had barely left the dance floor, with Ian repeatedly lifting his wife in the volta, much to the other dancers’ amusement when he tossed her easily into the air. By a table sat Avery and Callie together, low in conversation, drinking and smiling. Callie repeatedly ran her hand up and down Avery’s arm, in a tauntingly flirtatious fashion. How easy that touch was between them made Eloise ache.

She turned away, seeking out another face.

Murdoch was sitting at the table with his father. The two were talking in low whispers. On Fergus’ other side sat Harper, not talking to anyone but staring at her plate. Behind her stood Beatrice, whose dark eyes continued to linger on Murdoch.

Eloise turned away, unable to bear the sight of the way the maid watched Murdoch.

“Here is where ye’re hiding,” a familiar voice approached her. She turned to find Clyde beside her, with a rather large flagon of ale in his own hand. “I cannae blame ye fer it. My father seems persistent with these feasts, even when we have injured recovering.” He gestured to Murdoch at the head table. It had been two days since he’d been allowed to leave the healer’s cottage, and to Eloise’s mind, he seemed to be healing very well, not that they had talked much since.

He is avoiding me.

“Aye, at least he is recovering,” Eloise whispered. “How come ye’re nae with yer betrothed?” she asked, nodding to how alone Harper looked by her plate.

“I dinnae ken.” He sighed and leaned on the wall beside her, staring at the dancers instead of Harper. “I wanted so badly fer this tae work. I ken it means a lot tae my father, but Harper has been acting so strangely the last few days. She’s become more withdrawn, distant, even cold.” He grimaced. “Please, dinnae tell anyone I said that.”

“We are practically brother and sister now,” she assured him with a smile. “Yer secrets are safe with me.”

“Aye, thank ye.” He smiled softly. “I dinnae ken. Maybe it’s the wedding that makes her nervous. Marriage… it is binding yerself tae another fer a very long time, is it nae? Through every twist and turn of yer life, they will always be there.” He sighed. “Forgive me, I am too morose this evening. Aye, I shall return tae Harper, and endeavor tae make her smile.”

Eloise forced her own smile and watched him walk away, admiring Clyde’s determination to do right by his father and his duty by marrying Harper, yet there was something that Clyde had said which lingered with her. It was about his thoughts on marriage, how they would be so bound to another person.

Is that what I am about tae dae? Tae bind myself tae a person who doesnae truly want me forever?