Page 13 of Scot of Seduction

“I dinnae need tae hear about yer interpretation of it.”

“Can ye nae even call it what it is?” he asked in a quiet voice, leaning across the table toward her.

“I dinnae have tae. Ye seem tae be saying the word enough fer the pair of us.”

“It’s nae as bad as ye think, ye ken. It can be really rather thrilling, the stolen touch…”

“Aye, sure it is,” she said mockingly, then felt a sudden caress to her ankle. As a booted foot lifted the hem of her skirt, she snatched her foot away and glared at him across the table, threatening to pick up the fork and stab him with it. As she reached for the fork, he chuckled.

“Aye, see? There was a moment before ye pulled away that ye felt a thrill.”

“I didnae.”

“Ye did,” he said knowingly. She picked up the fork, threatening him silently again. “All I’m saying is ye can ask me anything, little Catreena.”

Dinnae call me that.

It felt awful, in that moment of all moments for him to call her such. Maybe he thought it was affectionate, but she simply felt younger than before, more a child to him than a woman at all.

“What would ye like tae ask me?” He held his arms out wide, as if he was a performer on stage, waiting to play his part.

She twirled the tankard in front of her, curious questions leaping to her mind. She couldn’t deny that in the dark recesses of her mind, there was much she wanted to know.

Tad had said the night before that a lover who was like a wild wolf was no bad thing, but what did that mean? Was it always pleasurable, sharing yerself with another in such a way? What was intimacy in itself like? Was it nerve-wracking to share so much with another person?

Then another question leapt to her lips. She didn’t ask any of the other curious thoughts in her mind but ended up reaching for something much more personal instead.

“I’ll ask ye just one thing alone,” she murmured in a rush. “Why dae ye sleep with so many women?”

He clearly hadn’t expected it. The playful smile fell, and his hands reached for his tankard.

“Isnae it supposed tae be something special, tae lay with another? Shouldnae it be something of… love?” The moment the words were out of her lips, she wished she could recall them, somehow pluck them from the air and stuff them back in her mouth.

He will think me more a foolish child than ever now.

She looked down into the tankard, staring at the amber liquid of the ale.

“Ye dinnae have tae answer –”

“It depends.”

“What?” She looked up again.

“Listen, Cat.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. She found herself mirroring his action, the two of them ending up with their heads bent toward one another. “Fer some men, that is what sex is. Fer yer braithers, I imagine it is, fer they are in love.” His eyes wandered, down to her lips, and they tarried there. The way he looked at her built a tension in the air, something she could not describe, though she was all the more aware of the way the fire crackled beside them. “Fer others, it’s about pleasure. That is what it is fer me. I ken well enough ye dislike me fer this reason.” His gaze snapped toward her eyes again. “But love is way too complicated and intense fer me. It is nae a part of me life, and I dinnae think it ever will be. Understand this one thing about me, Catreena, and maybe ye willnae dislike me so much – love isnae fer everyone in this world.”

She swallowed, a sudden lump in her throat at the mere thought.

“And any woman I bed,” he went on, “kens exactly what it is. We are both there fer pleasure, fer that moment, that… release,” he said the word with a little relish, then the smile faded. “Neither of us hope fer anything more.”

“In other words, ye arenae lying tae them.”

“Exactly.” Then he lifted his tankard and downed the contents.

She squirmed in her chair, all too aware of the way the air had shifted around them now. The fire no longer crackled, and the atmosphere felt heavy.

“We should get some rest,” he said, leaning forward. She didn’t even notice his hand lifting in the air, for she was busy thinking that perhaps she had been a little unfair in her judgement of him. “Yer face looks like it’s about tae burst intae flames.” He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, a fleeting touch that made her recoil.

“There is one thing I dinnae understand. A philanderer unable to use a heart, I understand, but the way ye dae it…” She shook her head slightly, deep in thought. “The way ye litter women around ye and carry on, that is what I dinnae understand.”