Page 36 of The Highlander’s Gypsy Temptation

“Ye will learn tae like my brother,” he said, each word like shattered glass tearing at her already her bleeding heart. Idalia closed her eyes so he would not see the wounded look in them. Not that he was even looking at her. His eyes were focused on the flowers in front of him.

“Are you really going to act like you do not know what I am talking about?” Idalia scoffed as she felt her irritation and longing for him give way to anger. Was this really what he wanted for the both of them? Was this really how he wanted them to be? Her married to his brother despite knowing she was with the wrong one, and him pretending to be happy for them while hiding his feelings for her?

Idalia’s mind refused to believe she was the only one who felt something between them.

“What are ye talking about?” he asked evasively. Idalia rolled her eyes at him, deciding she had had enough of beating about the bush or approaching the topic lightly. They would never get anywhere with this if she did not try to approach it head on.

“How exactly do you think that is going to work out?” she asked him, choosing to voice her thoughts. Maybe then he would understand what he was setting himself up for. “Even if you did not want to be married to me, how did you think it would work with me being married to your brother? How do you think it will work when we have to see each other all the time? When we are in the same place and the same space, and I am married to your brother? When you have touched me and know what it is like to hear my moans in your ears, and I know what it is like to feel your hands on me? Will you be telling your brother that you have been intimate with his wife, but he has nothing to worry about because you will not be doing so again?”

Idalia’s chest heaved as she finally allowed herself to release the breath she had been holding as she questioned him. She had not realized she had gotten up as she spoke until she found herself staring him down, waiting for him to respond. Maybe he would admit that he did not care for her like she did him, but she felt none.

“How do you think it is going to work when you see me and imagine your brother’s hands claiming me the same way yours did? When I have Andrew’s children, a confirmation of our love and marriage?” she asked calmly as she returned to her seat. Idalia noticed the pain etched in his face, and when his eyes closed at her questions and she wished she could console him, she held back. He needed to understand what he was doing and the repercussions that would come after, especially knowing it would be too late to do anything to fix any of it.

“You are making decisions and claiming to be doing all of these things for me, but that is not the truth, and you know it.” Her voice had lost all of the anger it had possessed. Now, she spoke to him with a calmness she had not realized she had in her at a time like this. And when she was done, she would accept whatever decision he made. There was only so much she could do to get him to change his mind. And she was definitely not going to beg him any longer and murder her already bruised confidence.

“The truth is that all of these decisions you have made, you made them to protect yourself. Because you are afraid. It has nothing to do with me, and it certainly has nothing to do with protecting me, because we both know that then you would be walking down the aisle right now. No one has ever protected me as you have, and no one will ever do better than what you have done,” Idalia said. “God’s teeth, Bran, you are too scared to admit your feelings! Say it and let me know instead of carrying on with this lie that you have chosen to tell yourself and everyone else.”

“What dae ye mean by that?” She could hear the anger in Bran’s voice, and it made her excited. His anger was much better than his silence. At least now they were getting somewhere.

“How can ye toss all the decisions I have made for yer good and claim that I only made them because I am scared for myself? All I have done and all of the decisions I made were with ye in mind. I have nae been unfair tae ye in my decision making. My brother is the best man ye would ever hope tae get, and ye will come tae love him and be glad that ye were married tae him and nae me,” he said angrily, but Idalia rolled her eyes once more, realizing it would take more than words to get him to admit to his feelings for her.

“I never said I wanted to be married to the best man, Bran… I just want… . you. Why can you not get that?” she asked him suddenly angry.

“I am nae good for ye, damn it! I have done terrible things and have hurt people and used August Raymond as an excuse for my sins. Ye go out of yer way to help people, even when ye dinnae have tae. That is where we differ. You will be married to my brother, or any man of yer choosing, and that is final.”

Idalia looked at him and realized how close they had gotten in their heated moment when she saw his eyes dilate and move to look at her mouth. Her lips parted involuntarily, letting out a small gasp of air just before Bran captured them with a kiss.

She closed her eyes and savored the taste of his mouth. Tears burned her eyes and she let them flow, knowing this would be the last time she would ever feel his caresses. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed herself closer in a bittersweet embrace that was tearing her soul apart.

She had promised herself that she would let him go if he continued to refuse his feelings for her, and that was what she was going to do. Bran broke off the kiss before she’d had enough of him. He frowned when he saw the tears in her eyes and wiped them away with his thumb.

“See what I dae when I am around ye? Ye will be better off if ye just forget about me, Idalia,” he said as he turned to walk away from her. Idalia collapsed to her knees as the strength left her body, surrounded by the garden in which she no longer found peace.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Bran woke up feeling like the most terrible man in the world. As he had walked away from Idalia, he had wished he could run back to her, wipe her tears and tell her all would be well. But he had been unable to do that. She was not the only one who felt terrible about what was happening. Of course, he did too.

While the council meeting had still been going on, he had felt like dying. After Andrew had agreed to marry Idalia if she agreed, he had not known how to act or what to do. He had thought of all the things Idalia had mentioned. He certainly did not know what he would do when he saw them together, acting like they were in love, acting like a couple. He did not know what he would do when she grew big with his brother’s child, and he certainly did not know what he would do when the child came and they truly became a family.

It was because of all of this that he had been so hesitant to speak to her when she had requested it. Because as he stared at her, all he could see was her saying yes to his brother at the altar, pledging to be his wife, and to be loyal to him. When she had brought it up, it had made him so angry.

Bran knew he had no right to be angry. After all, he had been the one to reject her. He could have had her if he had simply said yes when the council asked him. He knew Idalia would make him happy. She would make any man lucky to call her his wife, the happiest man ever. However, Bran doubted his ability to make her happy. Sure, she believed she could be happy with him now, but he knew all of that would change when she saw the monster he truly was.

More than anything, Bran wished he had met her before any of this had happened. Maybe then he would have been a better man for her, and it would be them getting married soon instead of her being with Andrew.

Bran had heard her crying as he walked away and had wished he could go back to her, but he could not. And now, he felt like a scoundrel. He had remained at a distance, listening for her until she was ready to return to her chambers.

Bran had spent the night tossing and turning and wishing he had done things differently. But nothing had seemed better than to be honest with her about how things were to be. He knew it would not be right for him to play with her feelings by letting her believe there was a way for them to be together when he knew that there was not.

He sighed, sitting up with a weariness in his bones. He had felt more tired in the last few days back at the castle than when he was away, working for August Raymond. At least then, he had been able to shut off his emotions, only allowing himself to feel something when he was around Mahala. Now, everything hurt from letting go of the one person he had bonded with after months of depriving himself of that feeling.

A knock sounded on his door, drawing him out of his self-reproach. He wondered who it could be so early in the morning. His heart raced as he approached the door, wondering if it was possible that Idalia had come to him to tell him that she refused to let him go. He could not tell if he wanted that to happen or not. He wanted her. However, the part of him that did not want to be with her because he believed himself to be bad for her far outweighed his own interest.

He steadied himself and opened the door, a little disappointed to see his brother. They had not gotten the chance to speak alone since the meeting the day before.

“I see that ye have been awake a while,” Andrew noted after studying him for a time. “Care to join me for a spar?”

Bran grinned and nodded eagerly, pushing his door open to allow his brother to enter while he changed into something appropriate.