Page 38 of In Bed with her Highland Foe

Helen had outdone herself in terms of making Kyven look like some grand lady of a vast clan with many riches at her fingertips. It was a person Kyven did not feel like and was not convinced she wanted to be.

The ivory white gown, cinched at the waist, fell to the floorboards in soft pleats. The neckline was a deep, rimmed with pearls and silver thread. At her throat was a single locket, emblazoned with the McDowell clan emblem, and her earrings glistened with the same silver, emphasizing the curve of her neck. Her auburn hair looked shockingly red in this candlelight and was piled so high on the top of her head, it towered. Kyven had to curl her hands into fists at her side, for she was tempted to tear her hair out of the updo in an effort to try and feel more like herself.

“I dinnae look like me anymore,” she whispered, so quietly she thought Helen would not hear her, but the maid had done, and jerked forward, with concern etched into her features.

“What, me lady?”

“It doesnae matter.” Kyven sighed and rubbed a hand down the gown, smoothing any possible creases. “Thank ye fer yer help, Helen. I shall go tae dinner now with Laird Shay, and… and try tae ken him better, tae see if he is a man that I could...”

She winced.

She thought of Gilchrist’s hand upon her again that afternoon.

Michael. Michael’s hand.

He had looked shocked, even mortified at what he had done, and in a desperation to try and soothe him, she’d laughed, hoping to brush off the moment. To her horror, it had only made things worse.

“Forgive me, me lady, but when dae ye feel like yerself? I warrant a guess it isnae in Laird Shay’s company,” Helen said slowly as she adjusted one of the sleeves of Kyven’s gown.

“Nay, nae in his company.”

In Gilchrist’s company, she felt like herself. When they were in that library together, when she wasn’t dressed so ornately, even that afternoon in his chamber she had felt freer than she had done in days, possibly even in weeks.

I wish I could turn back the clock hands, tae say something else tae him when he touched me in such a way.

Would he have reacted differently if she had sunk into his touch, perhaps reached out toward him too?

“What is it, me lady?” Helen whispered. “There is more than just the prospect of a dinner with Laird Shay that is upsetting ye. I can see that.”

“There is.” Kyven looked at Helen in the reflection.

Helen was the most experienced woman she knew when it came to men and lovers. Without any other person to ask the advice of, she turned fully to face her maid now.

“Today, I went tae look after Captain Gilchrist’s cat.”

“He has a cat?” Helen said with a smile. “I never kenned that. He must have a gentle side tae him.”

I already kenned he did.

“I… we…” She turned on the spot, moving around the room and struggling to focus. She busied herself with fidgeting with the clan emblem at her throat. “We were talking. It was so free. So easy, and then he reached out tae me and he accidentally…”

“Did what?” Helen asked, following her around the chamber.

Kyven turned back to face her and rather than saying anything, placed her hand on her own breast.

“He did that?” Helen said with a humored smile.

“Aye, he didnae mean tae. He looked embarrassed, and I laughed, trying me best tae shrug off the moment, tae put him at ease, but he was mortified, even horrified. He nearly knocked himself out on his own doorframe and ran from the room.”

“Well, that isnae a good sign. Poor man must have been…” Helen didn’t finish the sentence.

Kyven turned away again. It was the very thing she feared and had dreaded hearing. For all of Gilchrist’s kindness in that room, the soft way he had taken her hand, he only meant them to be friends. Even what she had mistaken for flirtation couldn’t have been anything of the kind.

“Did ye feel some attraction fer him, me lady? Is that why ye are so distracted by him?”

“Nay.” Kyven declared on instinct. She hurried to the door, knowing she couldn’t dwell on these thoughts any longer. There was something utterly humiliating about the thought of confessing not only that she did feel something for Gilchrist, but that he was so horrified by her that he ran away from her when they touched. “Nay, we are just friends. He is me dearest friend, that is all. I dinnae want him tae be upset by it. That is what is bothering me.”

“Aye, I understand,” Helen said softly and followed her to the door. “Try tae enjoy yer dinner, me lady. Ye never ken, ye and Laird Shay may grow tae care fer one another yet.”