Page 46 of A Kilted Marriage of Convenience

“Aye, it daes make it better,” he replied softly, settling back into his seat and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Lillie balled up her fists and made to respond. However, she just huffed and stormed out of the study, leaving Aidan alone with his bottle and his thoughts.

He looked toward the study door, and saw Darragh leaning by the doorframe looking at him resignedly.

“How much of that did ye hear?” Aidan asked.

“Enough,” he admitted. “It’s unbecoming of a laird to argue with his ward, ye ken.”

“Aye, tell me about it,” Aidan replied tiredly. “Lillie is likely to send me to join father and mother one of these days.”

Darragh chuckled in response.

“I saw Hannah on my way up here,” Darragh finally said, taking a seat across from Aidan. “I found out what happened between ye and Ciara. The basics, anyway. I am sorry it happened the way it did. How dae ye feel?”

“How dae ye think, brother?” Aidan asked, waving toward the almost empty bottle of whiskey on the table. “I daenae ken how I feel. My insides feel as if someone gutted me with a pitchfork and twisted it around. I feel angry, betrayed, and stupid. I opened up my soul to the lass, and it was all for what? A lie? A scheme?”

“Ye ken what’s worse?” Aidan continued. “I miss her. Even now, my heart torn to shreds, my head neck deep in dram. Even now, she is all I can think about. How, though, dae I keep her around me anymore, nae kenning what was true and what was false? I may never ken, Darragh, and that kills me more than anything.”

His brother listened quietly.

“Ye loved her, did ye?” Darragh asked softly.

“Aye. Heavens ken I did.” Aidan closed his eyes.

What was this searing pain? This... suffering?

“What is next?” Darragh asked, forcing him to pay attention. “What will ye do?”

Aidan pondered for a while, tapping his fingers softly on the grain of the desk in front of him. “I have only one possible move,” he replied finally. “I have decided to send her to the nunnery where she originally planned to go. As much as I wish it was different, I cannae bring myself to look at her right now without seeing deceit in her eye. I dinnae ken if I can send her anywhere else to keep her safe from her father, but the nunnery is her best bet right now.”

Darragh sat up holding his brother’s gaze. “Are ye sure about this? I have finally convinced the council about the advantages of yer marriage. Dinnae forget this is what ye wanted from the start.”

“Nay, brother,” Aidan responded with an air of finality in his tone. “I have heard yer arguments, and I see the wisdom in them. The fact remains that I dinnae ken how to continue this relationship with a woman I cannae trust. It would be best if she left immediately. My mind is set on this.”

Aidan contemplated the window, ignoring the screaming in his mind.

“Find Ciara passage to the Iona nunnery tomorrow,” he ordered. “I also want ye to select an honor guard to accompany her safely to her destination. I may nae trust her any longer, but I would rather she didnae come to harm either. Leave me now, brother. I will be by myself now.”

Ever the obedient right-hand man, Darragh stood up and left Aidan’s study without a word.