Page 47 of Highlander’s Quest of Desire

“Will ye share or have ‘em all?” Bruce asked, smiling at the way she ate the berries with gusto.

Elspeth flushed and extended the handkerchief toward Bruce. He took one and bit into its sweet flesh, wishing it were Elspeth’s lips instead. His teasing must have got to her because she put the handkerchief down and brought out their saddle blankets.

To break the sudden awkwardness Bruce decided to continue their joke. “The meal was satisfactory,” he said, magnanimously.

“I’m pleased the Laird was satisfied.” Elspeth chuckled. “For breakfast ye will be served more of the same.”

“Then we should see to it that yer married soon so ye can host more guests than just me. A castle is awaiting its mistress.”

Elspeth stiffened. The sweet smile on her face vanished, and she lost the warmth and good humor that had infused her all day. “I ken that ye donnae see me as a fitting companion, but I’d appreciate if ye donnae play matchmaker on my behalf. My brother is enough for that.”

Bruce felt great shame for his insensitive joke. If he had known this would be her reaction, he would never have uttered a word.

“I didnae mean-”

“I ken what ye meant,” Elspeth said. “But I donnae believe ye will be the best judge of who should be my life partner. Ye donnae ken the contents of my heart, nor de ye ken my worth. Ye donnae even trust me, how do ye ken ye can find me a partner to spend a lifetime with?”

She was extremely upset. Bruce could tell because her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, her thumbs pushing into her flesh, the knuckles white. Her cheeks were pink with the passion of her feelings, and tears swam in her green eyes.

“Excuse me,” she said, and stood up abruptly. “I must see to Willow.”

She walked off toward the horses, taking Willow by the reins and walking off. Bruce didn’t follow her. He could tell she needed some time to work on her emotions. The prick of shame twisted like a dagger in his conscience.

Elspeth was right. He didn’t treat her as she deserved. She was worthy of trust, and he had constantly deprived her of his. What could he do to make it up to her? Getting up he dusted his clothes and followed her.

* * *

Willow nuzzled her nose against Elspeth’s tear sodden cheeks. Elspeth kissed her horse’s neck and swiped the tears off of her face. Bruce had ruined a perfectly good day. She had made up her mind never to mention any of her grievances with him and just to go along with Bruce on his journey without questioning too much. But he had torn her wounds open again, and they hurt.

She stared at the sky that was slowly turning from bright orange to violet, and then indigo streaked the sky. Small stars studded the dark fingers of indigo, and Elspeth watched them twinkle into prominence now that the sun had relinquished the heavens. She thought they represented her so well. First Adamina had eclipsed her, dulling her shine, and now when there was no other sun to dim her existence Bruce was oblivious to the stars in the sky.

Would anyone ever see her for who she was and want her?

No! She would not limit her life to what others thought of her. It was her mission that she would strive for more. She decided to go back and tell Bruce in no uncertain terms that she was on this mission strictly for her own experience and they didn’t need to be friends. At the end of it he could leave Scotland and she’d head back to Blair Atholl.

With that decision she turned to go back to the camp but found Bruce coming toward her in the twilight; tall, muscular, he cut the figure all Scottish men aspired to. Her heart ached in her breast for love of him. What wouldn’t she do to bring him happiness? What wouldn’t she do to be the object of his pleasure?

Willow neighed as it smelled Bruce and pawed the ground with its hooves in agitation. Elspeth stroked it’s muzzle to calm it down.

“Elspeth!” he called. “I apologize for my insensitive remarks. Ye are right. I have nae been completely honest with ye, and that is nae what ye deserve. Come back to the camp, and I’ll tell ye everything. The night will be cold, and ye will need its warmth.”

Elspeth couldn’t believe her ears. “Ye’ll tell me everything?”

“Aye,” Bruce said. He held out his hand to her. Elspeth hesitated only a moment before she took it. “Because ye deserve the truth, and because I think Willow will stomp me in my sleep if I donae treat ye better.”

Elspeth couldn’t help but smile at the weak joke. She let him guide her toward the fire, wondering what the great mystery was and why Bruce had to keep it hidden. It was not lost on her that he was about to share something very dear to his heart, and she grew solemn to show it meant just as much to her.

It was only when they reached the camp did she realize Bruce hadn’t let go of her hand in all that time.