Page 29 of Bewitching her Highland Savior

“I ken everythin’ about men tryin’ to control our lives,” Amelia said; her tone laced with venom. Anger was a strange look on her but she seemed so fierce in that moment that Muriel was reminded of Liam. “What do ye want?”

“It doesnae matter,” Muriel said. “I cannae have what I want.”

Amelia fell silent. Muriel had no idea if Liam had told her what had happened but hoped he hadn't. She'd already burdened too many people, and she didn't want Amelia to feel sorry for her.

“We havenae kenned each other for long but I consider ye a friend,” Amelia said. “Ye can always write to me from Lewis. I hope that ye write me often. I want to ken that ye’re well.”

Muriel knew it for what it was — a subtle invitation to keep Amelia updated on her situation. If she were lucky, her letters would eventually all be about how great of a husband Macleod was.

“I will,” Muriel said; not knowing if she would keep that promise. Did she want to keep ties with Amelia? With anyone who was close to Liam? Once a married woman, she would want to forget all about him. Remembering could only hurt.

Muriel let silence stretch between them once more but, eventually, couldn’t help but ask, “What would ye do if ye were me?”

Amelia hesitated; her slender fingers tapping an off-beat rhythm against her knee. “I’m nae the best example to look up to.”

“I disagree,” Muriel said. “Ye seem to have a good life. Ye have Ron and yer clan, wee Anna.”

“A lot of people used to oppose me methods,” Amelia said. “I wanted to lead. I want to lead. I kept me position through deceit at first. It wasnae an easy path to take.”

“But ye took it.”

“Aye, I did. And I dinnae regret it,” Amelia said. “I kent what was best for me clan and I would do it all over again if I had to.”

That’s our difference. Ye have yer clan.

Muriel’s motives, unlike Amelia’s, were entirely selfish. If she wanted to do what was best for the future of her clan, she would go to Lewis and marry Macleod without any protest or second thought. Her clan didn’t need his wealth and power but they would serve to strengthen it.

No, what she wanted was to choose for herself and make her own life the way she wanted it. And what she wanted would put others in danger. That’s why she couldn’t bring herself to follow her heart.

“Whatever ye decide to do, I hope ye’ll be happy,” Amelia said. “That’s what matters in the end.”

As she spoke, she stood and placed a gentle, comforting hand on Muriel’s shoulder – giving it a reassuring pat. Then she turned and walked away; leaving Muriel alone.

Amelia’s last words to her echoed through her mind. Happiness seemed so elusive – like water trickling through her fingers. She didn’t know how to hold onto it.

* * *

The next day, Muriel woke to the sound of men shouting in the courtyard. Alarmed, she shot out of her bed and looked out the window, only to find half a dozen of them preparing for departure. Among them were Lucas and Ian, the former piling supplies onto Ian’s arms.

Are they the ones who will accompany me? We’re leavin’?

She would have appreciated a warning. Even if she had avoided him all evening, he could have sent one of the servants to inform her that they were leaving the next day.

Muriel was surprised at her calmness. She felt detached from it all, as if it were all happening to someone else. She wondered if the panic would eventually settle in — perhaps once she met Macleod for the first time — but hoped that it wouldn’t. It was much easier to feel nothing; to push her feelings deep inside of her – never for them to resurface again.

But no one came to get her, so she assumed they weren't in a hurry. It was still early, so early that there was barely any light outside, and so she took her time to dress and comb her hair; delaying the inevitable.

Peigi entered her chambers only after Muriel was dressed and standing by the window. She had a surprised look on her face when she saw her was already up and ready for the day, but she simply smiled and began packing the few belongings Muriel had.

“Ye can head downstairs to break yer fast, miss,” Peigi said. “Everyone else is already awake, too.”

Once again, Muriel didn’t want to see Liam but she did want to bid Amelia and Ron farewell before she left. Her stomach was a knot as she headed out of the room and then joined them at the table. When her gaze fell on Liam, she found him staring but he was quick to look away.

Ron and Amelia were the only ones talking, both desperately trying to break the awkward silence as Muriel nibbled at her food, trying to find some appetite. Muriel, on the other hand, was grateful for the buffer they provided. At the very least, she didn’t have to sit alone with Liam, neither of them knowing what to say or how to move on from the events of the previous day.

The kiss was more vivid in Muriel’s mind than any other memory. Whenever she closed her eyes, she could still feel Liam’s lips – the ghost of his kiss still lingering on hers. As much as she wished she could purge the entire memory, it clung to her like summer heat; warming her entire body.

As Amelia and Ron talked about an upcoming ball — a topic that she couldn’t pay any mind to, much as she tried — Muriel snuck a glance at Liam through lowered eyelids; hoping he wouldn’t notice.