Page 49 of Highland Prince of Darkness

Iain nodded slowly at his guardian’s words, but he wasn’t in the mood to be talked to like that. He knew that he must look vulnerable while lying in bed like he was, but there was nothing that he could do to change the outcome of his physical position at that moment. Bruce had Iain trapped, and he was clearly going to use the moment to tell him exactly what he thought about the way that he was treating his wife.

“Ye cannae keep treating her the way that ye do,” Bruce began, “I mean it, ye’re being harsh in a way that I cannae describe. It will break her and turn her against ye when really ye should be wantin' her at yer side, always. She’s yer wife, Iain, and ye cannae keep treating her as though she is a prisoner.”

Iain was answering Bruce’s comments in his mind. He was talking about how May had once betrayed him in a way that made him enraged to even think about for too long. But it was also the fact that she was so willing to let him back into her life as though the gap of six years had done nothing to her.

“Ye’re thinking about it, but I’m getting nay response over here,” Bruce reminded him, as he tapped his heavy boot against the stone floor.

“I ken, but it’s much more complicated than ye think. I’m nae being harsh to her as a reflection of what I’ve been through, that’s too easy of an excuse to explain my actions. I say the things that I say and do the things that I do because I’m angry at how she can be the exact same person as the day that I left her all of those years ago. Those years have been kind to her, they haven’t harmed her in any way, and they clearly haven’t changed how she sees the world. Why couldn’t that have been me? Why did it have to be me that went out and saw things that nobody should ever see?”

Iain’s voice was raised, and he tried to sit up but winced from the pain.

“Steady, lad,” Bruce spoke in a calmer voice. He held his hands up, signaling for Iain to stop his attempts at getting out of the bed. Iain was glad to stop moving, the relief in pain felt blissful.

The room was silent aside from Iain’s labored breathing. He was seething and his chest rose and fell as he tried to get control of the anger that had been unleashed during his small outburst. Iain knew that he had been wrong to treat May in such a harsh manner, but the last thing that he wanted after coming to was a reminder of this in the form of his guardian.

“Ye need to let go of this anger,” Bruce spoke in a smaller tone.

“I ken, but I dinnae think ye understand. I am the man that I am today because she let me go. I’ve become this... this monster that is feared throughout the land and told he cannae love or care for people because of her. After she left me, I was dead inside, I felt nothing and I had no... I had no desire to even keep goin’. I cannae just let go of those kinds of feelings.”

Bruce nodded along with his ward’s words, but he was still pursing his lips and looking down sternly at the man.

“I never said that letting go of yer anger was going to be easy, but it is something that ye can do to help the situation.”

“What if I dinnae want to help the situation?” Iain asked. He knew that he was sulking in his bed, but he didn’t care at that moment.

“I ken that’s nae true. I’ve seen how the two of ye’re, and I ken that she hurt ye years ago, but it’s in the past now, and that’s where it should remain. Ye should look at her and feel love, so let go of the anger that ye hold against her, because it’s nae healthy.”

“But she left me!” Iain fired back, wincing in pain.

“She didnae. She did her duty to this land and this clan, that is the same as I would expect of ye now. I’ve seen how loyal she is to ye, she even waited all night here with ye until ye woke up, only to be met with yer cruel dismissal.”

Iain pondered over the older man’s words for a while. He didn’t feel as though he could relate to her any better than before, but he could see where Bruce was coming from.

“Should I need ye to do something for the greater good of our clan, I would expect ye to do it. That is the exact order that May had when she let ye go. Of course, it wasnae easy for her, she didnae want to do it in the first place. I think that over the years, ye have twisted this story so that ye thought she had planned to leave ye all along. But seeing her now, I ken that isn’t true.”

“How do I just let go of my anger?” Iain grumbled.

“It’s actually a lot easier than ye would think. Just open up yer heart to the possibility of loving her properly again. Without all of these other thoughts to get in the way of that, love her wholly and love her as you once did.”

The room was silent for some time again as Bruce let his words sink in and Iain tried to digest what he was telling him. He knew that he couldn’t be harsh toward May forever, but he also knew that he was going to struggle with forgiving her completely.

“Do ye think that ye can at least try to go back to the way that things once were?”

“Ye were the one that pulled me out of the path that I was being led down. It was a dark path and one that I would never wish on any other soul. I will always be thankful that ye managed to pull me out. Ye managed to make me bearable to others, but I still hold my name and reputation. I feel now like they have haunted me instead of helped me. I wear them like a warning, it’s not something that I can wear with pride.” Iain let his head drop as he spoke.

“I ken, and I will always be thankful that ye were there to save my life. But let me save ye now. It may nae be yer life, but it’s yer happiness that’s at stake here, and deep down, I dinnae think it’s something that ye really do want to give up so easily.”

“So what do ye think I should do?” Iain asked with a perplexed frown.

“Open yer heart to her,” Bruce said simply, “Make peace with yerself, and then go and make peace with yer wife.”