Page 59 of How to Woo a Highlander

The door opened again, and William came in. The day before had left a mark on all of them as William was still limping. Noticing that Alastair was looking at his injured leg, William chuckled.

“I will be fine. Ye should learn to be more worried about yerself, Alastair. My injuries are nothin’ compared to yers,” he said.

Alastair was not convinced. Lain had sent an arrow straight through William’s thigh. If he was not careful, he might have to live with a limp for the rest of his life. He said nothing as William came to sit beside him.

“I admit that we did look down on Lain. I didnae think that he was that skilled… at anythin’,” William admitted.

Alastair had to nod in agreement. He had thought the same. Lain was surprisingly good at both warfare strategies, spying, and combat. If they had known, they would have been more prepared.

It was regretful because they could have been much stronger if only Lain had not allowed himself to be poisoned by hate.

“We indeed have our faults, but we were nae responsible for his choice. Ye did what had to be done,” Alastair assured William, not sure how his friend was feeling after killing Lain the way he did.

“I ken that,” William responded, although his voice was flat. Wanting to steer the conversation away from Lain, Alastair spoke again.

“How is Jane? Did ye see her?” he asked, causing William to chuckle.

“Ye two cannae go five minutes in conversation without askin’ about the other.”

“She asked about me? Then that means she’s awake!”

William nodded. “Aye, she is awake now. Her face is quite swollen where he hit her; it is even worse than it was yesterday. She will heal, but with time. I told her that ye two have me blessin’ to be together. What did her faither say to ye?”

“Her faither gave me his blessin’ as well. He went to tell Jane,” Alastair said.

William looked overjoyed as a broad smile spread across his face. He clasped Alastair’s shoulder in congratulations.

“That is wonderful news! I am so happy for ye two!” he announced, his excitement rubbing off on Alastair, who began to grin. It indeed was something to be happy about. He was finally able to be with Jane, without guilt or worry hanging over him. He would have his happiness despite his initial doubts. Alastair could hardly believe that love had found him despite how much of an unbeliever he had been, but then again, it might have been because of his disbelief that love had eventually found him.

“Alastair, I wanted ye to ken before I announced it. I plan to name ye General of the Mackenzie army and me official second in command, nay longer just me adviser,” William added.

Alastair felt his smile freeze as he turned wide eyes to his friend.

“William… why would ye…?” he asked, trailing off as he tried to come to terms with his friend's words. William only shrugged.

“Ye are already doin’ the work, and ye deserve the recognition. Ye risked yer life goin’ on a suicide mission for the clan,” he explained.

Guilt clouded his thoughts. He could not help but feel that he didn’t deserve the recognition. The people who truly deserved recognition were his men. They had been all too willing to sacrifice themselves, following him into battle. Their lives were wasted, yet he had held onto life like a cockroach just as Lain described him. They deserved to live more than he did.

There was Gerald, whose wife had just given him his first child. He had lost the love of his wife, the chance to see his child grow up, and the opportunity to have other children. He had so much life ahead of him. Now his wife had lost her husband before she could even enjoy her time with him. The child had lost his father and would have no memory of him.

Carlisle had been raising three orphans, taking them as his own and had given them the love of a parent. His life had been cut short, and those children would lose the one person who loved them. Donny was but a boy, young, vibrant, yet responsible and taking care of his mother and brother. Now he was dead.

A heaviness filled Alastair’s heart. He would have to go and face their families to offer them compensation because it was his duty, but he had no idea how he was going to do it. How could he be commended for a selfless act when, unlike his men, his intentions had not been of pure sacrifice? When, unlike his men, he had still stolen one night of pleasure amid their preparations for battle?

How would he face Gerald’s wife, bearing his bestowed title of General and being hailed as the hero who risked all for the sake of the clan when the real heroes were all dead?

“William, I dinnae deserve such. Me men are the ones who should receive such an honor. Ye ken the state of me heart when I did that. It was nae only the clan I did it for,” Alastair said solemnly. William clasped his shoulder again.

“Ye dae deserve it me friend. Ye have deserved it for a long time. The spirits of yer men would want ye to have it. Ye will take their honor for them because ye are the only one left. It is nae noble to hold on to guilt and tell yerself that ye dinnae deserve this. To be noble, ye should accept the honor and remember yer men as the warriors that they were,” William advised.

“Ye will be General and second in command because of the contribution ye and yer men have made. I dinnae say this as yer friend, but as the Laird,” he declared, before leaving Alastair to his thoughts.

* * *

William had just left Jane’s room when the door opened again, and her father stepped in. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, and she looked everywhere but where he stood. She was not yet ready to face him. He had brought the English army to rescue her, but that did not mean that he would not be furious.

"Father, I'm sorry…" she began. It must have been hard for him. When she had gone after Alastair, all she knew was that she needed to be with him. She had not considered how worried her father would be.