Page 22 of No Fear

“I was messed up. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m not trying to make excuses. It’s the truth. If I could go back and change what happened that night, I would. Trust me.”

“I am so mad at you for how much you hurt her. She deserved an explanation. I get you were messed up, but it’s been ten years, Donnie. You could have come back before.”

“The more time that went on, the harder it became. I thought leaving was the right thing to do. Charlie told me to come to her house today, so we could talk. I wanted to explain and apologize properly. But turns out she’s already left. Had no intention of talking.”

“Can you blame her? Seeing you brought it all back. She’s hurting all over again.”

“I was hurting, too, Maddie. Still am,” he snapped, then held up his hands. “Sorry. I know she’s hurting, but I loved Nate, too.”

Maddie’s shoulders relaxed and she sighed.

“I should hate you for what you did, but I can only imagine how hard Nate’s death must have been for you, too. But you can't blame me for being mad. Charlie is my best friend, and you have no idea what it was like for her to lose both of you.”

“I can guess. Losing Nate was harder than you’ll ever know. But it doesn't excuse how much pain I’ve clearly caused Charlie. I really am sorry, Maddie. I should never have left this so long. I realize that now.” He thought he had been doing the right thing. He was wrong, and it was time to face up to what he’d done.

Maddie gave him a small smile. “I missed you. You and Nate were just...always there and then you weren’t. You guys left a big gap around here.”

A young boy appeared beside her, looking up at him shyly.

“Donnie, this is my son Andrew. Andrew, this....is a friend of mine from school.”

Donnie crouched down until he was at the young boy’s level.

“Hi Andrew. It’s very nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and the boy shook it.

“You’re very big.” he said.

“Andrew!”

Donnie smiled. “It’s OK. I am big compared to you. How old are you?”

Andrew giggled. “I’m four and a half.”

“Ahhh. So you’re still growing. You'll be big like me one day, too.”

Andrew looked up at his mom. “I’m hungry.”

“OK. Let’s get you a snack.” Maddie glanced at the phone in her hand. “Looks like your sister is still asleep.”

Donnie stood. “How many kids do you have?”

“Two. Rosy is just over a year.”

“Motherhood looks good on you.”

Maddie smiled. “Thank you. Do you have time to come in for a drink?”

“I’d love to.”

He sat at the kitchen island while Maddie settled Andrew with a snack in front of the TV then checked on Rosy. When she returned, she opened the fridge and handed him a beer, getting herself a soda.

“I heard you got married. Who’s the lucky man? Anyone I know?” Donnie asked.

“Dave. And no, you don’t know him. He works in construction, and I love the bones of him.” Her mouth spreading into a wild smile.

“I’m happy for you.”

“What about you? No girl back in....San Diego, is it?”