Page 18 of No Fear

“Is it? Charlie, you are my best friend, and I love you. I know we haven’t seen each other much recently, but I can tell you haven’t been happy lately.”

Charlie sighed. Maddie knew her too well.

“I don’t know what to do. I mean, any woman would love to be in my shoes, marrying the handsome, rich, real estate mogul. I’m so lucky he chose me. This is just a phase, right? Work, the wedding. It’s a lot of pressure. I do love him.”

“You’re not any woman, Charlie. Money and status have never meant anything to you. If I’m honest, I was surprised when you two got together. I mean Simon had quite the reputation at school, but you were happy, and Simon was treating you well. I haven't seen that happiness in a while, though. Planning your wedding should be a magical, happy time. You should be with your friends and family planning the details. You get married in eight weeks, yet I’ve barely heard you talk about it. In fact, you avoid it on our calls.”

Charlie fiddled with her wine glass, not looking at her best friend. “I’ve not really been involved. His family are taking care of it. I didn’t even get to pick my dress.”

“Oh, my god, are you serious? Charlie, that’s not right. It’s your wedding.”

Charlie stood. “It’s just the way his family does things. Old money, you know? They’re good people who have old family traditions. He’s done so much for me, for my family. I’m lucky to be with him.” She turned away, picking up the wine bottle to refill her glass.

Seconds of silence passed before Maddie asked, “And what about what you want?”

Charlie spun around.

“I want what he wants.”

“So, you’re willing to sacrifice everything you want in life for him? Your work, your dream wedding and who knows what else?” Maddie stood and took the wine bottle from her.

“I don’t see it as a sacrifice. We love each other. Love is about compromise.”

“Yes it is. So tell me how Simon has compromised?”

Charlie sat back down, not answering.

Maddie sat next to her. “Let me ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth.” Charlie waited. This was Maddie, always blunt and to the point.

“When you look at Simon, do you feel an overwhelming sense of love? Of not bearing to be apart from him? Of wanting to jump his bones? A need so bad that he’s in your every thought?”

“That only happens in romance novels. Not real life.”

“Really? I have it with Dave. I see him and my stomach flips every time. Tell me you didn’t feel that want, that need, that heat when Donnie kissed you ten years ago.”

Charlie stared at her best friend. “What?” She remembered every goddamn sensation. Had relived it too many times, sometimes when she was with Simon.

“When you saw Donnie today, did it all come back?”

It had. In glorious, hot detail.

“It doesn’t matter if it did. Donnie made it very clear ten years ago he didn’t want me.”

Maddie handed her a tissue. “I know. I’m not suggesting you get it together with Donnie. I’m trying to make you see that you deserve to feel that connection. You are an amazing woman. Simon is the one lucky to have you. Does he tell you that? Show you that?”

“He tells me he loves me.” Although not as often. He was always so busy. Meetings, trips, dinners. It never ended. He was forever telling her he had to be seen. It was how he made contacts and closed deals. Reputation was everything to Simon.

“Words are easy. It’s action that counts,” Maddie said. “Someone that loves you would not make you give up a job you love. They wouldn’t criticize your clothes. And to be honest, they would be here banging on the door, apologizing for being such a dickhead and driving you away.”

Charlie collapsed back on the sofa, rubbing her arms.

“What happened to your arm?” Maddie asked in alarm.

Too late, Charlie realized she’d rifled the sleeve of the top she’d changed into, exposing her upper arm.

“Nothing.” She pulled down the sleeve.

“Did he do that?”