Page 124 of No Fear

Dex sat back down.

“I thought these decisions were my call.”

“Normally, yes. But as you just mentioned, this one is personal to the team. Even more so for him because of Charlie. There’s too much at stake here for anyone being less than one hundred percent. This isn’t just about evacuating the embassy. We may have to stop a civil war, shut down Reborn, and bring the fucking Aziz brothers down. There is no room for error, or for anyone to babysit a teammate.”

“He won’t need babysitting. Look, I get he’s not quite at the top of his game, but even in his current state, he could hands down take on any of us on the gun range and likely win. As for it being more personal for him? If you think that, then maybe none of Raven should go.”

Sam raised his eyebrows in question.

“Reborn tortured Kelly. They killed Bravo team. Murdered my father. They kidnapped Sophie. Almost killed Ryan. Then they blew up a building with you and Mira inside. They attempted a sarin attack with Diane caught in the middle of it. They almost took out Raven a few weeks ago and Donnie, the man you want to stand down, almost lost his sight. This is personal to all of us because they’ve made it personal. But each time we came together as a team. A full team and fought back. Together. Donnie is going to want to be with us whether Charlie was there or not.”

“Charlie could be too much of a distraction.”

“Sam, when I went to rescue Kelly, inside I was losing my mind. But I was still team leader. We researched, we planned and executed like any other op. I kept my head together and so will Donnie.”

“Kept your head together? You disobeyed orders and almost ended up with a court martial,” Sam said.

“But I led my team. We all came home safely. I didn’t lose focus.”

No, he hadn’t. It was one of the reasons Sam had asked him to lead an Onyx team.

“And in case you’ve forgotten, Ryan was right there when Sophie was in trouble. Tyler was right there when Mira got hurt, and Steve was by my side when we rescued Diane,” Dex added.

Sam smiled. He couldn’t argue with anything. The women behind these men had found themselves in deadly circumstances and the team—the whole team—had got them out.

“Sounds like you’re going to disobey my call here?”

“No. You are the boss and your call overrides mine. But twelve men is better than eleven. I trust Donnie to keep his head on straight.”

Wow, they really had come a long way. Dex was a great team leader and hell; he may even be able to take over the reins at Onyx when the time came.

“Tell Donnie to get his psych done. I’ll give Claire a heads up. I’ll decide once I see that report.”

“Are we going to tell him about Charlie?”

“Yes. But not yet. Let’s keep that list of names to ourselves until I hear from Washington that we’re good to go. Right now, the embassy is secure.”

Dex frowned. “I don’t like holding this back from him.”

“Tough. That’s an order.”

***

CHARLIE BUSIED HERSELF shredding confidential information, trying to ignore the shouts and taunting from the protesters outside the embassy. When she had arrived, there had been a handful of them, but over the past week, the number had increased steadily, and they were getting angrier.

Ambassador Clarkson had met with Daram’s current prime minster and his officials yesterday at his palace, but the talks had broken down. There was talk of a rebel group threatening to take over and their government was more determined to fight to the death so they could claim victory. The ambassador was currently on a call with Washington, and Charlie suspected they would evacuate. They had been working on cleaning house all week, anticipating leaving.

It was so sad. Some great work had been done in this country. The embassy had assisted in building a hospital, planting crops, and providing aid. Now it looked like that might all be destroyed by yet another war.

Would the US step in to try and stop it? As she mindlessly shredded papers, she thought of Donnie. Would his special team be involved in something like that?

Donnie. Her days had been so busy she didn’t have much time to think about him. But at night, he was all she could think about. Cellphone service had major issues here and right now, they were using satellite phones to make most of their calls. They had been asked to limit personal calls. She had only called Maddie once.

The first few nights, she had cried herself to sleep. Convinced she was to blame for Nate’s death because she asked Donnie to come to the house that night. Maddie had been quick to tell her it wasn't anyone’s fault. What happened was an accident, pure and simple. She didn't see it that way. The fact remained if Charlie hadn’t asked Donnie to come, and if Donnie hadn't decided to cancel his plans, then Nate might still be here.

She was numb, unsure if she was angry, upset, ashamed or just plain sad. At least now, she understood why Donnie had left. A part of her ached for how Donnie had been carrying this guilt for ten years. Alone.

Where did that leave her and Donnie? She had no idea. She loved him. He made her feel like the most beautiful, cherished woman in the world. He was brave and kind. He was funny and serious. He was her high school crush and the man of her dreams. She thought maybe they had a future. But this admission had put a dark cloud over everything, and she wasn’t sure they could get past it. Not this time.