Page 121 of No Fear

She waited for him to continue, her stomach clenching.

“Charlie, I want you to know I don’t regret anything that happened between us that night. I meant every word I said. I wanted to date you. I wanted to be your boyfriend. What I’m going to tell you is all on me. It’s my fault.”

Silence.

“Donnie? You’re making me nervous. What’s your fault?” What the hell was he talking about?

“That night, I was meant to meet Nate. We were going to the movies. We’d agreed to meet at the theater because he was already on that side of town. I bailed because I wanted to stay with you. I sent him a text saying I couldn't make it. He crashed driving back home after I stood him up. He was probably pissed. If I had gone to the movie theater as we planned, Nate would be alive.”

At the emotion in Donnie’s voice, bile rose in Charlie’s throat.

“Oh, God. I asked you to come to the house. If I hadn’t asked you, then...” Her heart pounded in her chest.

“No! This is not on you, Charlie. I came to the house because I had time. I intended to meet Nate. I’m the one who changed the plans. Me. This is my fault not yours. You didn’t know I was on my way to meet him.”

The announcement of her flight boarding startled her. Shit. She wasn’t sure she could move. Donnie had stayed to make out with her while Nate drove to his death.

“That’s why you couldn't stay. You didn't want me to know.”

“I didn't want anyone to know. I couldn’t face you or your family knowing what I did. It was never about you, Charlie. I never stopped thinking about you. I was just too much of a coward to admit what I’d done.”

The second announcement came for her flight, and she got unsteadily to her feet.

“They’re calling my flight; I have to go.”

“Charlie? I’m sorry.” He’d said that a lot lately, but this time she wasn't sure it would be enough.

Her heart cracked. Had she been a part of Nate’s death by asking Donnie to come that night? Had Nate lost his life because she wanted to lose her virginity?

“I have to go. I...Jesus...I don’t know what to say.” She felt sick to her stomach. “I’ll call you when I get back.” She ended the call, silenced the phone, and headed to her gate, trying to keep herself together long enough to get on board and seated.

Chapter Twenty One

Five days and not a word. Donnie was going out of his fucking mind. He had tried calling Charlie but the call wouldn't even connect and he didn’t know where she’d gone. He had Mackie try to ping her phone with no success. Had she changed her number to get away from him? Were things that bad?

She blamed herself, which was exactly why he had left in the first place. He had never wanted her carrying that guilt. He was the one who chose to stay, chose to cancel his plans with Nate. Nate’s death was on him, nobody else.

He walked into the Farm, thanking the universe he could now see the door. Every day, his sight was improving. Yesterday, Dr. Swanson and Sophie had finally cleared him to drive. It was a fucking miracle, but he wasn't taking his recovery lightly. He was damn lucky and he knew it.

Today, he had another meeting with Claire, the team psychiatrist. He had spoken with her a few times since being back. He was also supposed to be hitting the gun range with Dex. He was nervous. Not a feeling he was used to. Shooting was his skill. His rifle was his baby. Today would be a test to see just what he could really see.

“Hey, man, any news?” Mackie entered the war room.

“No. Not heard anything.”

“You know we can make some inquiries and find out where she is if you want to.”

“I know. I’m not sure that will go down too well.”

The conversation stopped when Sam entered the room, getting everyone’s attention.

“Gentleman, get comfortable. We might be here a while.”

The team settled around the table.

“The CIA agent on the inside is dead. His body was found by Pakistani police yesterday. He was tortured.”

The room was silent. Fuck, that suggested the poor bastard had been made.