Page 98 of Adam, Mine

This was . . . something. They had come to some kind of impasse. One that let Victor feel as though it was suddenly all right to share good feelings with Elias. After nothing but chaos and pain, Elias hadn’t considered that Victor would be the one to make the first move in that regard.

It was unexpected, thrilling in its implication.

But Victor had quieted their thread quickly, like he was embarrassed. Though Elias had the power now to tear it back open and destroy Victor’s barrier, he did not.

Instead, he went to sleep. He did not have to stay awake on these rides; every stop was the last stop.

Dream

Somewhere between Saint Petersburg and Novgorod, Victor woke him. Elias gasped into consciousness, alarmed.

He looked around, but nothing in particular was happening. He put a hand to his face and was surprised to find tears.

Victor was sending vibrations along the thread that matched his and it felt so strange. He sent a burst of confusion.

Victor received it, then it overwhelmed him. Elias didn’t know the thread could be used for this. A warmth filled him that exceeded what the train provided, and he felt plushness around him like he was being held. Elias didn’t know what to do, what to say. He sat in that feeling for a long while until the vibration slowed and it faded.

Then there was silence.

Elias could tell Victor was listening. He sent Victor a ripple of curiosity.

It was quiet then, for long enough for Elias to think perhaps Victor had fallen asleep. But then he got more strangeness. Victor pushed him longing and impatience.

Elias reared back. He didn’t know what to make of that. After all this time, Victor longed for him? For him? He sent Victor anger, irritation, as many of the things he felt about that idea that he could, then ended with confusion and sadness. He didn’t understand why Victor was trying to hurt his feelings again.

Victor paused. Then Elias heard a note played back, one of his own. A lick of desire, followed by the melody of Victor’s uncertainty about it.

Elias could not help the embarrassment that slammed into him. It jangled loud, discordant, but Victor soothed the sound back to harmony.

Victor understood it had been a mistake. Then a light noise. Oh, and Victor was amused?

Elias laughed out loud from pure hysteria. There was no one in his train booth, so close to the wastes. And then he could feel softness as Victor explored the feeling of Elias’s joy. Elias’s heart grew light.

He caressed the thread to hear more and learned that Victor was tired, about to fall asleep.

They were both on trains to Russia, then.

On the same track, as always, but separated by snow and miles.

Toy

Elias arrived in Russia just as it was starting to snow. It was daytime and the sky was crisp and white. The air smelled like metal, smoke, and wood, and he took a moment to breathe it in, grinning.

Russian people did not like his smiles, he learned immediately. This was a place where people smiled only for a reason. Elias walked from the train station to an inn. He was a bit underdressed and could see it was drawing attention, but he already knew he could not freeze to death. This was merely uncomfortable.

He booked a room to stay for a month. He wasn’t sure how long it would take for Victor to find his way here, and he was staying put until he knew. He had enough money left to get back to Germany afterward and maybe a little more to stay for a week in lodgings there if he needed to, then he would be on his own. Jaan’s generosity had carried him just as far as it was meant to. Elias had spent almost all his paper money; now he had just coin from various regions and the gold brick. It was more than halfway gone.

He ate in a Russian restaurant and found he liked this food a lot. No one bothered him for only eating meat and they gave it to him raw, sliced thin and cold. He asked after Yaroslav Voronof, but the people who recognized that name did not speak German and the people who spoke German did not know him. The best Elias could do was find out that he was at the edge of town.

He set off on a walk and found a house on a hill that smelled of blood from far away. Elias grimaced. Was this how he’d smelled to the other alchemists this whole time? Disgusting and dangerous.

He bought a carriage ride and eventually accepted the warm cloak that the carriage driver forced him to buy as well. But when he reached Yaroslav’s door and knocked, it did not open.

Elias waited for an hour knocking before he gave up. He was irritated but went back down to town on foot.

He was here for a week before Victor turned up. He could feel him coming when he opened his eyes, feel that he was miles away but close and getting closer.

Brace