Page 34 of Dancing With Redemption

17

Roxie

The next day was pure torment. Lincoln worked from home that morning, something he did often now that he had a daughter and a pregnant ex-girlfriend to look after. Roxie had nothing to do, the house was kept clean by Aunt Katie and the shopping was done by Lincoln or his PA. She didn’t even have a lunch date or a job to go to. Lincoln had insisted he’d pay her bills and anything else she needed because he didn’t want her to jeopardize her health while she was pregnant.

That, and she needed time to heal from her injuries, mental and physical. She’d agreed because she’d been too tired to argue when they first came back from New York. Now she wanted something to do, anything to escape the scent of the man that seemed to be everywhere in the house. The dreams last night had been even more powerful, so real she could have sworn he’d actually been there with her in the bed, when she woke up. Only he wasn’t. She’d been alone throughout the vivid dreams that had felt so real.

All of her friends were busy, as she’d discovered after sending out dozens of text messages before 9 am. They all had prior engagements or work. June had taken Lily on a trip that would last through the weekend, a trip to a ski resort on the western side of North Carolina. There was no escaping Lincoln, and she couldn’t even make up an excuse to get out of the house that wouldn’t see him insisting on going with her.

“For fuck’s sake,” she mumbled, glaring at her closet. “I need to get away from this house for a little while.”

With a grim set to her face, she pulled out a pair of black maternity pants, a long black blouse with a generous panel in the front to accommodate her belly, and the boots Lincoln had bought for her. She was going to go somewhere, alone. Even if she had to insist on it. This was not going to end well if she was stuck around the house all day with him here.

“Where are you off to?” Lincoln asked when she made it downstairs, pulling on her coat as she came down.

“Um, just out. I’m a little stir crazy.” She grabbed her bag from a hook on the wall by the front door, frantically digging around in it for her keys. Here it comes, I just know he’s going to say it.

And he didn’t disappoint her. “Oh, hold on, I’ll go with you.”

“No!” She shouted without meaning to. She looked around at him, with a wince of apology. “Sorry, no, it’s fine. I need to get out. On my own.”

“I see,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “Are you alright, Roxie?”

“I’m fine,” she insisted, forcing a smile on her face. I’m just going to assault you if I don’t leave right now. “I have some personal things I need to get and I’d like to stretch my legs. You get your work done, I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t like letting her out on her own since that trip to New York and she knew why, he wanted to know she was safe, but she was only going to the mall. It wasn’t that far away. And he’d let June take Lily hours away, which had surprised Roxie, but she’d agreed to the trip too. They all needed to get back to life and right now, Roxie needed some privacy, even if it was in one of the most public places you could be. She needed some time away from him more than anything.

She couldn’t think rationally when he was so close. Her brain insisted on remembering things like how his skin felt beneath her fingers, what it felt like to have him in her mouth, inside her body. And the sounds he made when she moved in time with him, fuck, those soft groans and moans had haunted her all night. Even now, the memory was there, making her cheeks hot and her knees a little wobbly.

Lincoln stared at her, watching her for signs of distress. Roxie tried to school her features, tried to keep her face calm, and he must have bought it because he nodded in agreement. “Okay. Just keep your phone on please, and buzz me if you need me for anything, alright?”

Roxie nodded energetically, eager to get away now that he’d finally agreed to what she needed the most. “I’ll only be a couple of hours, maybe. If I’m going to be longer, I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks. Have fun.”

Roxie waved and got out through the door as quickly as she could. Her small SUV started up right away, and she was at the nearest mall in less than ten minutes. It was wintertime and early in the morning still. Traffic was light and she was at the entrance to the mall, looking around trying to decide where to go first, now that she was free.

That made her smile. Living with Lincoln wasn’t so bad, she was just feeling cloistered, and far too aroused to be in that house for one more second. The first thing she did was get some breakfast, giving in to the craving for a sausage biscuit that she washed down with some orange juice. Then she headed to a shop that was strictly for maternity clothes. She had a credit card with her that Lincoln had told her to use as she wished. And today, she wished for new dresses that weren’t too tight. There were a few tops she wanted as well, and then she found herself in the lingerie section of the shop. Looking around, Roxie found some maternity nightgowns and pajamas that were cute and suitable for most nights at home. But it was the black silk nightgown and lacy robe that went with it that drew her eyes over and over again.

She decided to try one on, not because she had a plan or anything, but because for the first time in a long time, she wanted to feel sexy again. With the permission of a saleswoman, Roxie went into a booth to try the outfit on. The white cubicle had mirrors on all four sides, and Roxie had a good view from every angle, once she’d managed to get into the nightgown and robe.

The nightgown was a basic slip shape with triangular cups at the top with underwires to support her heavy breasts. The material was gathered below her bust, with a lot of material to cover her belly. The lace robe was a perfect compliment that went down to her knees and sheer enough that nothing was left to the imagination.

Lincoln’s jaw would hit the floor if she came out wearing this for dinner tonight, she thought with a smirk of delight. Not that she would do that, but if she did…

Fantasies blossomed in her mind. Filthy, dirty fantasies that left her feeling flush. Getting out of the robe and gown quickly, Roxie dressed, exited the booth, and stared at the pile of clothes she’d left at the counter already. She’d intended to put the sexy lingerie back but found herself watching as the saleswoman folded it up and put it in a box.

Then, she found herself paying for it all and leaving the store.

She would not wear it, she kept telling herself, it was just there for those nights when she felt fat and ungainly. That was all.

Roxie did a little more shopping, adding some shoes that felt alright on her toes to the pile of bags she already had, and a few gifts for Lily, Lincoln, and Aunt Katie for Christmas. When she left the store, she felt a little triumphant. For the longest time, she’d been afraid to go out on her own. Lincoln took her everywhere she needed to go so it hadn’t been an issue really. She hadn’t had to face that fear, not until being too close to him nearly drove her insane with need.

Okay, so she hadn’t solved world hunger, and she hadn’t won a marathon, but this small victory was just that, a victory over her own fears. Now if only she could conquer this feeling that she’d been hypnotized by him every time she was near him, she might come out of this alright. Getting back in her car, she drove herself back to the house, only to find it empty.

Lincoln had left a note saying he needed to go out but he’d be back shortly. Roxie took it as an opportunity to try her new clothes on properly. The dresses were fine, long-sleeved, gathered under the bust, the same pattern, just different colors with one black and the other emerald green. The tops fit fine and would be good for everyday wear. Roxie put them away, along with the pairs of boots and sneakers that she’d bought, leaving the bag with the nightgown in it. Roxie took the lid off the box and looked down at it with a smile.

Lincoln was out, she was alone, why not?