Page 38 of Dancing With Guilt

“Sure, I’ll be fine.” Aunt Katie nodded and started to load the dishwasher. “Spend some time with your daughter, honey. I’ve got this.”

“Thanks, Aunt Katie. For everything.” Roxie went over and kissed the wrinkled cheek of the only mother figure she had now. “You’re more special than you know.”

“Well, so are you, my dear. Go on now, have fun.” Katie patted Roxie’s cheek and went back to the dishwasher.

“Do you have any dance outfits for me here?” Lily asked as they walked up the stairs, hand in hand.

“No, but we’ll get you some,” Roxie said, ignoring the door with the padlock on it, even though memories called to her with a fierce tug that nearly took her breath away.

“I can’t wait. Oh, Mommy, this is beautiful,” Lily cried as soon as Roxie turned on the lights of the studio. “I can’t believe I have my own studio.”

Roxie didn’t tell Lily that her father built the studio for her mother, there was no reason to burst the child’s bubble. Besides, it wasn’t hers anymore, was it? and it never would be. Blinking away her tears, Roxie let her daughter run around the studio, holding herself together with tiny threads that hadn’t broken yet, but just might if she wasn’t careful. She’d have to be very careful, for Lily’s sake. Lily was all that mattered now.

18

Roxie

Lily was so excited to be living in a new place, with a father that she hadn’t known existed, that when she got up the next morning, she didn’t complain about starting at a new school. Roxie was surprised, she’d thought Lily would be nervous, maybe even a little unhappy to have left her friends behind. Instead, Lily came down to breakfast with a smile on her face, her hair in a ponytail, dressed in a blue skirt and white shirt that was the uniform of the school Lincoln had insisted they enroll her in.

He’d somehow managed to arrange it all over the weekend. The man had connections, that was certain.

“Are you ready for your first day at the new school?” Roxie asked, wanting to be sure Lily was alright.

“I’m excited. I’ll make new friends and have new teachers. I’ll miss my old friends, but it’s good to meet new people, right?” Lily said with far more wisdom than a nine-year-old should have.

“I suppose it is, yes. Well, you have my phone number if you need me, and your father’s.” Roxie frowned as she took the empty plates away. Lily seemed to be dealing with this much better than she was.

“Dad is meeting me at the school with Aunt Katie. She’s got to sign some papers or something.” Lily wasn’t concerned about that part; she didn’t understand that Roxie had given Aunt Katie the right to care for Lily a long time ago. Luckily, Aunt Katie had been smart enough to bring all the necessary paperwork with her when she left New York.

“I see,” Roxie said, wondering how long she was going to be alone in this house for. It didn’t make sense to stay here all day if everyone was gone, but where else did she have to go?

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Aunt Katie called out as she came into the kitchen, dressed in a pair of black slacks with a green long-sleeved blouse. Her gray hair was up in a bun, matronly but still somehow soft.

Roxie smiled and looked over at her with a knowing smile. “Lily’s much readier than I am, it seems.”

“She’s always been a brave girl,” Aunt Katie whispered. “Much like her mother.”

Roxie put her right hand on Aunt Katie’s shoulder in thanks. “I appreciate you taking her in and getting everything signed. I’m sure Lincoln will soon have that all sorted so he can take over those responsibilities.”

“I’m sure he will,” Aunt Katie agreed, frowning for a moment. “He means well, Roxie.”

“I know he does.” Roxie moved away to wash the few plates and glasses in the sink.

“I do too, honey. But you know, I will always do what’s best for Lily.” The older woman looked away; her eyes filled with sadness. “It’s a hard place for all of us to be.”

“It is. That’s enough of that for one morning.” Roxie plastered a fake smile on her face and lifted her head up. “You two get to school. Have a good day, Lily. I hope you make lots of new friends.”

“I love you, Mommy,” Lily said as she rushed to wrap her arms around her mother’s hips. “You’ll be here when I get home?”

“Of course I will, darling. I’ll be right here waiting for you.” Roxie bent down to kiss Lily on the top of the head. “Now go on, you don’t want to be late.”

“I don’t. ‘Bye, Mommy,” Lily called, running to the hallway to grab her book bag and put her shoes on.

“I’ll see you later, Roxie. Try to stay busy with something.” Aunt Katie pecked Roxie’s cheek and went on her way too.

“I will. See you later,” Roxie replied, but the other woman was already gone.

Roxie looked down at herself, still dressed in a white cotton nightgown and a robe. Getting a shower and putting some clothes on might be a good way to start the day, she decided. As she showered, she thought about calling a friend to meet for lunch, but which one? The only friends she had who knew about Lily were Nick and Wendy. Neither one had asked too many questions about why she’d never spoken about Lily before, but the others might.