Page 38 of Mafia’s Dirty Secret

“That’s no way to live.” He cringed, but he didn’t take it back.

“It’s not, but it’s been my whole life. I’ll text you later, alright? Once I have her calmed down.”

“Do that, I’ll wait for you.” He kissed her this time and got out of the car. “Be careful going home.”

“I will,” she said with resignation and fatigue. She felt the weight of both as she got into her car, her shoulders drooped. She wanted to lean her head on the steering wheel and cry, but instead, she put the key in the ignition and drove away barefoot, the fancy heels in the seat beside her.

Marie thought about all that could have happened tonight, should have happened, as she drove home. She didn’t want to be this angry with her mother, it just didn’t feel right, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. She was trapped, like an animal in a cage. Only hers was invisible because it was loyalty that bound her to her mother.

It wasn’t really love, her mother had never allowed Marie to love her. She wanted to love her mother, sometimes, she even felt it towards the woman that gave her life. Most of the time, however, it was simple loyalty that kept her in the cage she was in.

Nobody else had ever stuck around for Ruby, they’d left, or she’d run them off. In the case of her father, he’d died. But before he died, he’d broken Ruby’s heart. She didn’t want to prove her mother right when she screamed that everybody left, in the end. That nobody ever stuck around, they all left.

So, she drove home, washed her face off, and scraped the pins out of her hair before she brushed it. She put on her pajamas and took one last deep breath before she went into the room where her mother was still screaming and rolling around in the bed. She watched as her mother threw herself around in the bed, screaming nonsense sounds at the top of her lungs.

“Momma, you either stop this, or I call the ambulance and have them take you to the psych ward,” Marie said it quietly, but she knew Ruby heard her. The screaming stopped and the woman’s body went still. “You’ve scared poor Regina to death, and you owe her an apology.”

“I don’t owe anyone a fucking thing you little slut!” She shouted the last word and turned to face Marie. Her face was red from her exertions, and her white hair was a wild halo that made her look insane rather than angelic.

“You do, Momma. Now, are you going to act right and take your medicine, or do I have to call the ambulance?” Marie waited, her face a stony mask.

“Fuck you. Out running the roads, probably at some dancehall getting felt up by old men for money. Why I didn’t…”

“Shut up, Momma!” Marie was the one that shouted this time. She’d had enough. She couldn’t take one more time of her mother wishing she’d aborted the baby that was now the woman that looked after her. “I am not a slut, I’m still a virgin in fact, so put your delusions away. I couldn’t get laid in this town if I paid someone to do it, because you, you Momma, have made sure nobody wants me. You ruined any chance I might have had to do anything in this town. You, Momma, you won’t even allow me the time to go on a date because you’re so fucking jealous that I might be out having a nice time. Then you have to make it dirty and conjure up bullshit about me sleeping around. It’s you, Momma, you were the one that was a slut. Not me!”

Regina came down the hall, her eyebrows raised. They were raised in question, but also, respect. She held her fist up and Marie winked back at her.

“Now, things are going to change around here, or you’re not going to like the consequences.” It was an empty threat, mainly. If Ruby was a danger to others, Marie would do what must be done, but she knew this was all the dramatic act of a hateful woman. A little brutal truth would calm her right the fuck down. And it did.

“I’m… damn… I’m sorry, Marie.” Ruby wouldn’t look Marie in the eye as she spoke, but she settled down in the bed. “I’ll take my medicine now, please.”

“That’s what I thought.” Marie turned away and walked down the hallway, right to Regina. The other woman took her in her arms and led her down to the kitchen. “That was harsh, Marie, but girl, you made me proud.”

“I feel terrible for what I said, but I just couldn’t listen to her say she wished she’d aborted me one more time. I just couldn’t.”

“And you shouldn’t, honey. This is hard work, and sometimes it’s even harder when it’s a relative. Dealing with someone like your mom, well, that’s bound to wear on you and you finally stood up for yourself. I’m proud of you.”

“I’m glad you are. I’m so out of touch with normal people, I don’t know if I was over the line or what.”

“People tend to treat those with disabilities differently. They expect them to be perfect, you know? Does that make sense?” Marie could tell Regina wasn’t exactly sure how to say the next part.

“No, what do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s like people think because someone’s blind, deaf, or can’t walk, that must mean they are innocent of any kind of malice. That they’re above the pettiness of those that have their sight, or hearing, or that can move. It’s silly, I know, but it’s a common thing. And, I might be speaking out of turn, but I have to say it: your momma is no angel, honey. What she was doing tonight? That was just wrong. And what she does to you? It’s, well, it’s unforgivable sometimes, Marie.”

“I know it is, Regina, and no, don’t worry, I won’t say anything to anybody about what you said. What did she do exactly? Besides scream and try to throw things?”

“She threw herself out of bed somehow. I don’t know how she managed it, but she got the rail down and was trying to crawl to your room. I heard her fall out of the bed and caught her before she got too far. Just getting her back in the bed was a trial. I’ll be covered in bruises tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry. I see your eye is turning colors already.” Marie got up, pulled out an empty but clean butter container filled with ice out of the freezer, and wrapped some in a towel. “Put this on it.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Regina protested but she took the ice anyway. “I’ve had more than one in my life now.”

“I was hoping she wouldn’t act like that with you. I guess I was wrong.”

“I think what you’ve said tonight will give her something to think about.”

“I hope so. I’m trying to hang on, Regina. I’m trying not to put her in a home. But I can’t keep having nights like this. I just can’t.”