I was taking the coward’s way out, and I did hate myself a little for it. It hadn't been easy to get through the hiring process to begin with, then I’d had to work hard to prove myself as a chef, to my colleagues in the kitchen and the management. In my time working at the hotel, I’d built up a rather nice nest egg in my bank account. In fact, the biggest hit it took since I got hired, was my parents’ last anniversary gift and the two bottles of wine I’d recently replaced.
For the first time, I even had my own car. It was a second-hand car, unlike the ones lined up at the garage in the Thompson mansion, but I’d bought it with my own money and I’d been so proud. I had my own place, though it was at the hotel, and I paid my own bills.
I was a grown up. Somehow, Trent—in that talented way he had—easily turned me right back into that insecure teenage girl I used to be, even though I would be thirty in a few more years.
Damn you, Trent, I growled in my mind. Just… damn you!
Not that I could lay all the blame on him. I should have been avoiding him in the first place. And even though I was tipsy at the time, I never should have thrown myself at him like some desperate groupie.
That was a mistake.
I worked through the morning tirelessly, getting more done than I thought I would. There was still plenty to do, but I wanted to clock out early so I could go back to my room and finish packing.
Fuck, I thought to myself, as I dragged myself over to the staff room. I need to give a proper goodbye to my parents.
I’d stopped by the mansion and slept over a few times. Lucky for me, Trent wasn’t there anymore, so there was no risk of me running into him. I hadn't explained to my parents how not only was I transferring, but I would be going far away. Mom just thought it was a trip, but she had no idea yet that the move could be more permanent. I’d run into Emily a couple of times as well, but we hadn't talked, so she also didn’t know.
I didn’t know how to tell any of them.
“Jessi!”
I looked up at the loud call with a wince. I wasn’t the only person in the room, so I glared at Laura for her overly dramatic entrance. She didn’t even seem to notice, rushing across the room and throwing herself into me with a loud squeal.
“The rumor’s all over the place,” she said, almost in a whine, as she nearly strangled me with her arms around my neck, rocking me from side to side a little too roughly. “Why are you going so far away?”
I tapped on her shoulder to get her to loosen her hold, then pulled away from her completely, shifting so I could put the length of the couch in between us.
“You knew I was leaving already,” I told her wryly. Of course, she’d been the first person I’d told because I went back to her apartment for the second night. “What are people saying, anyway?”
“That you’re going to some far away coast,” she said quickly. “They make it sound like you’re moving to a different country or something!”
I shrugged. “Laura, you already know I’m not.”
“Well, yeah,” she mumbled with a small pout. “But you’re still going to be at a beach somewhere and we’re not exactly close to one.”
I shook my head. “Nope. We’re a lot closer than you’d think. It’s only about a six-hour drive away. It would be shorter by plane, but I’m moving with some of my things so I’ll be driving.”
“Why do you have to move at all?” she said with a sigh, finally settling down. The look she sent my way was curious and knowing at the same time. “I know it’s about Trent, but what changed? Did something happen between the two of you? Because the last time we talked, I thought you’d just ignore him and be fine.”
“That was the original plan,” I said slowly.
I didn’t want to tell her about him and me sleeping together, so I didn’t say more than that.
She let out another sigh. I leaned back as she leaned closer to me, but she held her arms open instead of jumping me this time, and I reached for the hug.
“I’m going to miss you,” she said wistfully. “Things are going to be so boring around here without you, and I know Emily will agree with me. I’ll visit you sometime, okay?”
I nodded, unable to reply verbally because I was choked up, and I knew it was only the first round of goodbyes.
Why do I have to go anywhere?
As I got up to return to work, I went through all my memories of Trent. All the sweet ones, as few as they were, and the bad.
I thought back to before. When we were kids and still the closest friends, before and just after his mother died. We’d been best friends, as hard as it was to believe now. We’d played together a lot back then. Mainly because my parents were always working, I spent more hours out of the day with Trent since he was the only other child there at that time. His dad would have preferred if Trent went to his friends’ houses and played with their kids, but his mom preferred to stay at home more often than not, and that was how we’d become close.
He was the sweetest little boy in those times. But then his mom died, and he changed completely. The Trent I knew was gone, replaced with this sullen, reclusive kid who no longer wanted to play with me, even though he didn’t always push me away. I figured if I stuck around long enough, he would go back to his former self.
Not that he did. Later, he became hurtful towards others and to me, even though I was the person who still hung around him the most.