Page 33 of Winning Her

“Oh,” she said, glancing at me over her shoulder and nodding. “I forgot about that. I wondered how I got back in the morning. Thanks for that.”

“No problem,” I muttered.

We made it to her place, and she unlocked the door to let us in. Her place was even smaller than mine, an open living room and kitchen in the front room, a further door that led to the bathroom and a bedroom.

“You could have gone to your parents, you know,” she said, taking off her coat and tossing it and her purse to the single seat.

I sighed. “I don’t want to bother my parents. I just need to be away for tonight. From the hotel. If you don’t mind?”

She shot me a curious look. “Did something happen that I should know about?”

I hesitated, then shook my head. She probably noticed there was something, but she was nice enough just to nod and head for the kitchen area, waving at me to follow. She wouldn’t make me talk about something if I didn’t broach the subject myself.

Once again, I was hit by how good a friend Laura was to have around. If I left the hotel, I would miss her.

We spent some time cooking. There weren’t many ingredients to work with, but I’d learned to do more than just bake in the kitchen, and I managed to make something nice for us to eat. The room was too small for a dining table, so we sat on the couch and used the coffee table, and Laura turned on the TV.

“Do you think you can wake me up early so we can go together?” she asked.

I nodded. “Sure, no problem.”

She hummed, then faced the TV again. I could barely pay attention to what was on, some melodrama that Laura had mentioned before but one I didn’t care about. After eating then cleaning up, and the show ending, Laura went to her room to sleep. She left a pillow and some blankets for me, and we both went to sleep. Or I tried to.

I couldn’t fall asleep immediately and spent a long time just lying with my eyes open in the dark.

Trent… I didn’t want to face him today or any other day. I’d spent the whole day with that fear, and it had grown. I’d started working just fine, but my form had gradually gotten worse until I was so tense, the slightest thing would make me jump. It was a wonder I hadn't accidentally sabotaged my work.

My fear wasn’t of Trent, per se. What I was particularly afraid of was being humiliated again by the same guy who’d killed my self-esteem as a teenager. I didn’t want history to repeat itself and going by past actions I knew Trent was going to be a complete ass about the whole thing. I couldn’t trust my thoughts from last night. We’d both been lost in the moment.

What bothered me was that pill. I was still ashamed and guilty of taking it, and I didn’t know why I felt like that. The woman at the pharmacy had said it herself: a lot of women took the morning after pill. But even if Trent couldn’t be nice to me, I couldn’t face him knowing there was a possibility he could have had a child, and I could have carried it, but my decision pretty much killed that. Literally.

Mom would be so ashamed of me, wouldn’t she?

The thought was accompanied by fear. The only solution was to never tell her about it because I didn’t want her to be disappointed in me.

But all of it… it became so real for me after I decided to take that pill. I knew Trent could have any woman he wanted. Unlike him, I didn’t treat sex as a game. I’d waited for a long time because it meant something to me, and I wanted to give myself to someone special. It wasn’t for the sake of any religious beliefs, but because the only man I’d ever wanted was Trent, despite how he’d always treated me.

Now, I’d done it. But because of it, I could never get near him again, and it made my chest ache.

I didn’t think I could fall asleep, but at some point, I must have drifted off. Even as I slept, it was fitful. Trent showed up in my dreams and I’d keep waking up from them drenched in sweat, my body squirming on the couch, either from lust or fear.

By the time it hit the morning hours, I’d barely rested. I turned on Laura’s TV, deciding against trying for more sleep. There was some black and white movie playing, and I left it on. Not that I paid attention to it at all.

“I’ll have to leave,” I muttered to myself. “Definitely.”

A couple of hours later, I woke Laura and we got ready to head back to the hotel. She was delaying, so I went ahead. I hurried to the hotel, then to my room to get dressed. I pulled on the most official clothes I had—a blouse and a skirt with a coat pulled over it.

I went to the manager’s office for probably the second time since I got hired. He looked up at me, surprised, and I thought he’d only just walked in. It was a bit early, but it didn’t matter.

“What can I do for you, today?” he asked, probably recognizing me from the kitchens since he patrolled around the place sometimes. “Is there a problem I can help you with? Is it something to do with the kitchen? It’s usually the head chef that comes to me with complaints…”

“It’s nothing like that,” I said quickly, reassuring him.

“Oh,” he sighed, looking relieved. “Good, because with the new guy in upper management, I’d have to take any complaints up to him. What did you want to see me about?”

I clasped my fingers in front of me, twisting them together in a moment of indecision. I thought about how I could barely sleep last night and firmed my resolve.

“I wanted to ask for a transfer to another location,” I said. “How soon would that be possible?”