Page 28 of Room Service

“I’m not going anywhere,” I reassured her. “I was just going to get something to clean us both up.”

I hadn’t used a condom, I realized. I didn’t exactly have any on me because I’d come home with clear goals in mind, and sex had never been in that set of goals. I had to hope she was protected and go about the business of bringing her a towel to clean up.

“It’s fine,” she said quickly, tugging on the hold she had on my arm.

I frowned but decided I didn’t need to go anywhere after all. I watched as she sighed and closed her eyes, snuggling into my pillow. A minute later, her breathing had slowed down and evened out, and I knew she’d fallen asleep, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. There was something peaceful about the way she slept as if everything that was wrong had all of a sudden disappeared and it brought a smile to my face just watching her.

When did you get this beautiful, Jessi?

I knew the truth was that she always had been. She was just more grown up now. I hadn't expected she’d ever wind up in my bed though. Or just how much I’d loved having her in it.

It would have been wonderful if I could have something like this. I knew it was impossible, but I indulged myself in it just a bit. If I hadn't been so stuck up when she confessed to me when we were young, or if I had returned her kiss then we would have been together. We’d have got married and already started a family together. It was something I didn’t see in the cards for my future, but the thought of a family with Jessi sounded divine for some reason.

Why couldn’t it happen? I questioned myself for the first time.

I pulled her close, tucking her into my chest. She let out a sigh, her arms going around me as she ducked her head under my chin. I closed my eyes, buried my face in her hair, and inhaled her scent again.

Like that, we fell asleep, and I felt peace for the first time I could remember without having to resort to sleeping pills. I couldn’t help but dream of all the things I could have with Jessi.

When I woke up in the morning, she was gone.