Page 57 of Billionaire’s Game

He instantly became defensive. “Why do you care who I date? You didn’t want to date me, remember?”

“I don’t care who you date. I don’t care about you at all. You just have some nerve to date one of my friends.”

“I didn’t know she was your friend when I met her.”

“Well, you found out eventually.”

“And when I found out, I tried to ask you how you felt about it and you told me you didn’t care. Remember that?” I thought back to the texts I’d received from him when he’d started dating Violet, which I had pointedly ignored and then responded with, “It’s none of my business.” God, I had been really abrupt with him, yet still blamed him for everything. My anger was irrational and misplaced, but I didn’t care.

“I mean, yeah. I don’t care who you date. It’s just a matter of decency.” There wasn’t much conviction in my tone. I didn’t even believe me.

“Quit with the lame excuses. Either you care or you don’t. Being wishy washy doesn’t suit you.”

“And being an arrogant jerk definitely suits you.”

“Me? I’m the jerk? You think I’m the one with the problem?”

“Clearly.”

“I thought you were different. I thought you were logical and reasonable.”

For some reason, those words stunned. “I’m both those things, but that doesn’t excuse you from doing something hurtful.”

“Oh, so now we’re finally getting somewhere. Me dating someone else is hurtful?”

“What? No. That’s not what I meant at all.”

“So what did you mean?”

I sighed in defeat. I didn’t know what I was saying. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t know what I wanted. Actually, I did know what I wanted but I didn’t know what to do since now I couldn’t have it.

I wanted Magnus’s attention. I wanted to date him, spend time with him. He should have been going out with me. Not Violet. Never Violet. Didn’t he see that? I felt like the ugly, geeky friend. I felt insecure again. The makeover hadn’t helped. Deep down inside I was still that teenage girl, unsure of herself, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations without knowing what her expectations were for herself.

I couldn’t tell Magnus what I wanted because I didn’t even know what I wanted.

I was a mess. I had to figure me out, but in the meantime, I needed someone to blame for my misery and that someone had been Magnus. He didn’t deserve that. He’d been nothing but gentlemanly and kind to me. It wasn’t his fault that I was going through some sort of crisis. And it wasn’t his fault that in the middle of getting to know myself, I had fallen head over heels in love with him.

I felt the tension ease from my shoulders as I allowed those words to sink in. I was in love with Magnus and for some reason, being in love with him was bringing out the worst in me. Who was I kidding? That wasn’t Magnus’s fault. I just didn’t know how to deal with this new feeling, this new emotion. I’d never been in love. And instead of being open to it and allowing Magnus to have a place in my life, I’d pushed him away. Our current situation was my doing. All of it. And it was about time I started taking accountability for it. It was time I grew up and stopped acting like a petulant child.

But where did I start? I’d been pretty horrible to him. I took a deep breath and just said what was in my heart. Well, not all of it. I wasn’t ready for all of it yet. “Listen, I like you a lot, Magnus. And I respect you. I’m sorry that I’ve made things difficult between us for the past couple of weeks.”

Magnus’s shoulders instantly lost their tension too and his expression softened.

“I like you a lot, too. And it was never my intention to hurt you.”

I nodded. “I understand that.”

“So maybe we can work on being friends?”

I didn’t want to be just his friend though. I knew that for sure. But friendship was what he was offering. So I would take it.

“I would like that,” I said softly.

“Great.”

We stood there just staring at each other, neither of us knowing what to say from there. The chemistry between us was unmistakable and yet, at least on my end, there was nothing I could do about it.

I looked away first. “I’m going to go scrub off all this slime.”