Page 44 of F Buddy

Olivia sighed. I’d never missed the Christmas party before, but I was more than willing to let it go this time. Olivia gave me a disappointed look. “Come on, Scarlett,” she coaxed. “Sasha asked you to come, didn’t she? Are you going to say no to your friends like that?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m saying no to you, and it doesn’t bother me at all.”

“Yeah, well, I know things about you that the others don’t. Can you explain to Sasha why you can’t make it?”

I sniffed and looked away from my friend. “I’m heavily pregnant. Of course, she’d understand.”

When Olivia didn’t come up with something to say, I chanced a look at her, only to flinch at the glare she was giving me.

“I know why you’re reluctant, but these are your friends, Scarlett. At least try to put in an appearance. If you’re not going to tell them everything, then at least try not to make them worry.”

But I couldn’t just show up, say hi to everyone, and leave. Zach would be there. He’d come back for Christmas, his trip only lasting for a few days. I’d been avoiding him, not that he was making any effort to look for me. Every time I thought about it, I felt a white-hot pain shoot through my chest. But I knew better than to give into the feeling.

Seeing him again… I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t want to.

But, Olivia had ways of getting me to go. It mostly involved a lot of guilt-tripping, reminding me all our friends would be there and would love to see me because they were worried for me.

“I didn’t realize I was making anybody worry,” I muttered. I hadn't.

“Of course, they are. They’re your friends, Scarlett, and that’s what friends are for, they worry about you when they notice something is up with you.”

I pouted and leveled her with a glare of my own. “I wasn’t fine at the wedding, and no one seemed to notice.”

No one, besides Zach, a traitorous voice in the back of my mind pointed out. I pushed the thought aside.

“Because none of them paid close enough attention. You hid it pretty well—hell, I know you better than anyone and I didn’t notice. I think it’s just harder because you’re a raging ball of hormones now.”

My pout grew more pronounced as I placed my hands on my belly. “You got the ball part right, at least.”

Olivia sighed, then she giggled a little bit. She covered her mouth when I gave her a sideways look.

“All right, sorry for laughing, but you are big, Scarlett.”

I hummed and ran a hand down my stomach. “At least this baby will be coming out of me soon.”

It was the only good news I had to look forward to. I was so over being pregnant, and I was even excited to meet my baby. I’d told my parents only recently, and I’d gotten an earful from both of them for keeping it a secret for so long. But at least my mom had promised to help me out for a while after I left the hospital.

I hadn’t even thought about names yet.

“You know,” Olivia started, sounding thoughtful. “This will probably be the last time we all get to see you before you’re ready to give birth.”

I arched my eyebrows, unsure where she was going with this. “So?”

“So, the moment you have a baby, you’re not going to be able to meet up like before. Sure, we could always come to your house, but babies are fussy little creatures, or so I’ve heard. A lot of first-time mothers rarely come out in the first month, and my mom wouldn't take long trips out of the house for nearly four months.”

I frowned. “It’s not like I’m going to become a hermit, and I won’t slam my door in your faces.”

“Come on, Scarlett. Just come out with me! Everyone’s excited to see you. This is the first child in our group, everyone is really excited about it.”

I pursed my lips. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to go out. I probably should, since my mom told me I couldn’t just sit on the couch or stay in bed all day long just because I was pregnant. Exercise was important, or so she’d said at least.

If it weren't so much for my other fears, I wouldn’t have put up this much of resistance.

“You might as well go and see him, Scarlett,” Olivia said. “You can’t just live in fear that you’re going to see Zach again, Scarlett. What will you do when he comes back permanently?”

She moved closer to me so she could sit on the arm of the seat and wrap her arms around my shoulders.

“I...” I started, but I didn't have anything to say.