Page 30 of F Buddy

She waved at me. “Well, go on. Tell me what happened.”

I chewed on my lower lip, wondering how to say it. I didn’t know how she’d react, and it was important to me. I felt so stupid because I felt so fragile. The wrong word or the wrong reaction would have me bawling my eyes out. I had to tell her, though. It was the whole reason I appeared at her doorstep so early in the first place.

“Olivia, I think I might be pregnant.”

There was a pause after I said it, during which there was silence. I was a little afraid to look at my friend and gauge her reaction. My impatience got the better of me, and I looked up.

Olivia sat with a blank look on her face, still watching me, looking like she hadn't heard what I said.

“Did you hear me?” I said. “I’m—”

“Of course, I heard you,” she murmured, cutting me off, and my mouth snapped closed. I waited some more and watched anxiously as she raised a hand to her lips. “Oh, my… Scarlett, are you sure?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure. If I were, I’d probably be crying on your shoulder right about now.” I laughed, but it was a bleak sound. “But I have all the symptoms. My appetite went up, I’ve been puking, and sometimes the smell of food, or just the thought of it, makes my stomach churn. I tried to eat out about a week ago, somewhere I’ve been before, but I couldn’t eat anything.”

That had never happened to me before. All I could do was ask them to pack the food for me, and even then I knew I wasn’t going to eat it. I kept it in my fridge until it went bad and I had to throw it out. I’d felt bad for wasting it, but there wasn’t anything I could do.

Back then, it still hadn't occurred to me. The thought only came to me yesterday during work. I was listening to a colleague bitch about being pregnant, and the changes her body was undergoing. I’d listened, horrified, as she described things I’d found myself feeling out of nowhere recently.

I’d been explaining everything away. I kept puking because I caught a stomach bug. My period was late because I was so fucking stressed or something. I’d been so busy worrying about my relationship with Zach that I didn’t pay too much attention to my body.

Well, not like I can ignore this, can I?

“Get up,” she said hastily. “I’m taking you to the pharmacy. We’re getting a pregnancy test. It’s the fastest way to be sure.”

My eyes widened. I hadn't even thought about that when it was the most logical thing to do. It must have been proof of just how messed up my mind was if I could forget something like a test existed.

I hesitated a little. Now that I had the thought in my mind, I was afraid of getting the test and knowing the answer. Fuck! It was bad enough when all I had were suspicions, but I was going to break down if it was confirmed.

Don’t be stupid about this, I chided myself. I needed to know for sure so I could decide what I was going to do. This was something that would irreversibly change my life.

After I’d talked some sense into myself, I got up and followed Olivia. We left the building, and she went down the street. I hurried a little to catch up.

“Do we have to go far?”

Olivia shook her head, throwing a look at me over her shoulder. “No. There’s one just around the block from here.”

We were there in five minutes. I looked around, feeling all paranoid, as she led the way through the little pharmacy. We came to the shelf with pregnancy tests stacked and stared at all the different types and brands.

“Which one should we pick?” I asked.

Olivia shot me a look. “Why the fuck do you think I’d have an idea just because you don’t, huh? I’ve never used one of these before. I didn’t think I’d have to for a few more years.”

“You and the hubby not thinking of having children yet?” I joked weakly.

“Not yet,” she murmured. She picked two different boxes and read their descriptions, comparing them. “Maybe in a few years, but we agreed it’s too early for children.”

And yet, there I was, possibly pregnant by a man who didn’t want a relationship with me and may permanently move to a different country because of his job.

Fuck. Where had my head been all the times I’d slept with Zach? Thinking back on it, we never used a condom.

“Can we just pick one and hurry back?” I finally asked when she hadn't moved in a few minutes. “I’m sure anything we pick should be fine, right?”

Olivia picked up a box, quickly read the description, and held it out to me. “We’ll go with this one. I just hope I picked the right one.”

I didn’t even care, I just wanted to get out of there. I rushed us to the counter and paid quickly. We walked back to her apartment and, as soon as we were back inside, I made my way to the bathroom. I followed the instructions on the box and used the stick inside.

Minutes later, I had my answer.