Page 25 of Dirty Cops Next Door

New Hope wasn’t as large as a city, but it was a fairly expansive town. There was a main street with all of the usual two- and three-story brick buildings normally found in older Virginian towns, and other areas where business had sprung up together. The mill had started out as an old-fashioned mill on the side of a small river and expanded to a large bakery, a car dealership when those came along, and several other buildings. They were all unoccupied now that we had half a dozen large chain stores near or in town.

David and I parked in the bakery directly opposite the mill, looking for a way to get into the mill without being seen.

“I think I know a way,” David whispered to me as we stared out at the building from the edge of an empty window. He was pointing at an alley running behind the building. If we could cross over to it, we might be able to get in.

“Let’s move,” I whispered.

* * *

Toni

I staredat my computer screen, watching the cursor blink on the blank page. I was supposed to be writing a fascinating review of the high school’s lunch menu, with a few shots of happy students in the cafeteria and smiling workers, but all I could see was David’s face as he came inside of me. All I could hear was that deep groan of Grant’s, that sound he made just before he found his release.

My body was tense, tight, and achy. There was this throb between my legs that was driving me crazy. I wondered how long I could keep the door shut on my office before someone would knock. Was there a lock? I’d never looked. What about cameras, were there any of those? I needed to relieve this ache, it was making me desperate!

One night hadn’t been enough, though I thought it would be. That had been a stupid notion, one that became obvious as I showered this morning. Just scrubbing at my skin with a washcloth had been too much. I hadn’t been able to get the smell of them out of my nose, even with my scented soap, and the washcloth had been cast aside so that I could use my fingers to touch the places that ached the most.

Now, sitting in my office, I had to behave myself. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done.

I picked up my phone and sent Bee a text, telling her I’d meet her for lunch if I wasn’t on an assignment. She responded quickly, she was tied to the desk today and wouldn’t be able to leave. I sighed and sent a one-word reply. Okay.

I knew I couldn’t tell her anything about what had happened but I could have talked to her about other things! We were growing closer and I liked the woman that looked so meek but had the heart of a tiger. Maybe I could tell her? I bet she’d melt into a puddle if I ever did!

The thought made me laugh, but it soon died away. I couldn’t stop thinking about either of them! The scent of them, the taste of them, the way they’d felt! I replayed so many instances of each part of them that I was on fire again and squirmed in my chair.

I glanced at the file I was supposed to be choosing pictures from. Smiling children, happy women serving food, it wasn’t what I wanted to think about. I wanted to spend the day going over every exact moment of my time with David and Grant.

“Hey, you busy right now?” Barbara’s voice interrupted my train of thought and I smiled as I looked up at her. “You’re a million miles away, aren’t you?”

“Sorry, yes, I was. No, I’m not busy. What’s up?”

“We’re shutting down at lunchtime today. Everybody can work remotely. We have a building inspection that we can’t put off and it’s easier if we get everybody out of the way. You okay with working from home today?” She looked at me knowingly, her grin infectious. “Somehow, I doubt that’s a problem, right?”

“Not a problem at all. I do love this job.” I picked up my phone and other stuff I’d need to work from the house. “In fact, if it’s alright, I’ll go now.”

“Sure, but do me a favor, tell him to treat you right. Or I’ll break his neck. You’re one of the special ones, Toni. Remember that. I don’t like everybody, you know.” Her eyes were serious, and I knew she meant what she said.

“Thanks, Barbara. That means a lot to me.” I took her hand as I walked through the door. I couldn’t tell her it was a them rather than a him, but I appreciated her support.

“Good. Now, get on home, girl. I’ll call you if anything happens. You’ll be off this filler work before you know it. I have a feeling.” Her wise smile was kind as she squeezed my hand before letting go. “Go on, now. Shoo!”

She walked away, a wave of her arm her parting shot. That woman really was something else. We’d barely exchanged more than work chatter, but her words just now let me know she had respect for me. Maybe it was the fact I didn’t complain, got my work in on time, and did it well. Maybe she’d done some investigating and found out more about my past. All I knew was that I had an ally in her.

I drove home to an empty house and settled into the couch, my tablet and laptop at hand. My eyes kept wandering to the windows in the living room. I knew David and Grant would be out, they were on some kind of special task, but it didn’t stop my body from longing to be over there.

I moved, noticing a soreness starting in my thighs I hadn’t felt earlier. A sign that it was all real. Every moment of it.

I smiled to myself. I wasn’t embarrassed by any of it, which was surprising for me. I felt brave, grown-up even. Most of all, I felt like I had a secret of my very own, a very special secret that was mine and theirs.

For the first time in my life, I was doing something for myself. The guy I’d had sex with in high school had led me along, made me think he needed me. Then he’d coaxed me into something I hadn’t really wanted to do but, ultimately, he’d made me feel sorry for him. He kept going on about pain, how much pain he was in, how much he loved me, and gave me puppy dog eyes that had brought out the desire in me to take it all away.

I’d thought having sex with him wouldn’t be a big deal, and in the end, it wasn’t. It was such a non-event I walked away from it with an eye-roll. I’d wondered for a long time why people got so twisted up about sex. Maybe it was different for men but all I’d felt was awkwardness, pain, and discomfort. After, I’d felt embarrassed about what we’d done.

I hadn’t felt ashamed, just embarrassed that I had been so stupid. As soon as he’d rolled off me I knew it had all been a farce. His grin of satisfaction, of triumph, had told me all I needed to know. I’d never spoken to him again after that. He’d tried, he’d certainly tried, but I wasn’t interested. Not if that’s all I was going to get out of it.

Now I knew just how much I’d been missing out on. I hadn’t just felt sexual and physical pleasure from the things we’d all done together, I’d felt a bond forming between us all. I’d felt emotional pleasure and satisfaction in their pleasure.

I opened my laptop, needing to write my thoughts down. I’m a writer, after all, a journalist and a writer. I opened a blank document and started to write.

I described how I’d come to town, a single parent for all intents and purposes, hoping for a brighter future for my brother and me. We’d been through more rough patches than I would have liked, I’d even hated David at one point, but now I knew I had two men in my life that were far more than my lovers, they were my friends. For the first time since my parents died, I had real friends.

In school, people had drifted away from us after a while. Eric and I didn’t have any aunts and uncles, so we’d been totally alone when Mom and Dad’s friends started to drift away. That had hurt, but they had their own lives, their own children to raise. I looked like I was handling it so we’d been left to our own devices. Good old, reliable Toni.

Now, well, now I felt like a little bit of a rebel. I wasn’t ready to scream out to the world that it could go fuck itself, but I was definitely going to start using that word more often. Mainly in the context of the moments when I was with David and Grant. I didn’t look down on swearing, I just tried to shelter Eric from all things that grown-ups were supposed to keep from children.

He was almost eighteen though. Soon he’d be on his own in a dorm, living it up. I thought it was time to start acting more like a sister than a parent. Not in all ways, Eric only had me, but when it came to life, I knew I’d only just started my own journey to find out exactly what life had to offer.

I looked at the words I’d typed and smiled. I had no idea what I’d do with them, but I’d figure it out later. Right now, my eyes wanted to close. I settled onto the couch, kicking back for a nap. I was exhausted from the night spent doing far more than sleeping. I was hoping for another night just like it.