Page 16 of Professor Next Door

“I don’t think—”

“It is my business, because you’ve made it my business.” I sat straight, letting him see just how much of a backbone I really did have. I wasn’t going to be put off by him. “Rikki is my business now, you are, and how my life turns out is totally up to this moment in time. Don’t screw it up by getting on your high horse and thinking you can just snow me under.”

“Alright, alright.” He put a hand up to stop my flow of words and brushed a hand over his tired face. “I’d wanted to put this off for a bit, but you’re right. You have to know before we get married.”

I settled back into a recliner, kicking the bottom out to put my feet up and settle in. “Go on then.”

“I guess you’re talking about the rumor that she killed herself?” He looked at me for confirmation and carried on. “We’d been arguing a lot before she died. A lot. She was so, fuck, I don’t know the right word. Manic, maybe? Moody?”

I glared at him. The woman had just had a baby!

“Don’t look at me like that, this was different. She’d cry even when she held Rikki. She wouldn’t feed her, she’d just hold her and cry. When I’d come home from work she’d scream at me for not being there for them. I tried to get her to go to a doctor, but she wouldn’t go. Then she started going on about me having an affair. She was leaving me, leaving us, the night she died.” He’d spoken in a monotone voice until the end, when his voice cracked. His words had come out in a flood, rushed, as if saying the words hurt him, and I guess they did.

“Were you having an affair?”

“No!” He looked at me with stricken eyes. “I am a lot of things, quite a lot, but I wouldn’t do that to her!”

“Some men would, and would feel justified. The wife’s not giving it to him, she’s caught up in the baby, some men even lose their attraction to their partners after the women give birth, it’s somehow traumatic for them.” I rattled off things I’d read in magazines over the years and waited.

“No, Kayla didn’t deserve that! I might not have been the most faithful of men when we were first married, but once I knew she was pregnant, that all changed.” He looked supremely guilty and flashed his eyes to mine before looking away. “I’m not perfect, I was an asshole, but not after I found out about Rikki. Not once.”

Right, so he could be a dick but he could also change. That was good to know. I wasn’t totally happy about the unfaithful part, but I had no right to judge.

“Okay. Anything else?”

I watched him, a man full of life and sex appeal, shrink in a second. “Nah, that’s all I can tell you. We were in love, I was a dick, she went off the deep end, and skidded into a light pole during a storm. It was quick, they told me, and she died instantly. I’m just glad…” He paused, pain etching lines into his face. “I’m just glad she’d left Rikki behind for me to care for. She might have killed our daughter too.”

I noted his odd choice of words but let it go. Maybe that was just the angry stage of grief coming out. I didn’t think Galen had dealt with any of it properly, he’d just carried on the best he could. My heart broke for him even more. And for Rikki, that poor child. We both knew what it was like to be abandoned by our parents.

“That brings me to the only request I have. Barring any proof of insanity, abuse, or other barriers that would make it unfeasible, I’d like an agreement that, no matter what happens between us, Rikki is going to be allowed to be in my life for however long she wants to be in it. Whether we divorce and you remarry, or not. She needs a steady mother figure. Taking me away and making me leave her after a couple of years would be cruel.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I’ve seen you with Rikki, you love her.” He was coming back to himself, picking himself up off the emotional floor I’d flung him onto. “So, you think we can make this work?”

I stared at him for a moment, not sure of where to go next. I’d already agreed to marry him, what more was there to say?

“I think we can. I think we should go over the rules.” Rules made me nervous because I didn’t want to fall apart at the mention of infidelity. I know he’s not going to be my real husband but there was a little flame living in silence in my heart that begged to be kindled.

“Number one, no obvious infidelity.” Galen went straight for it, obviously getting back into beast mode. His tone was cold, emotionless, and let me know he was just as capable of being hurt. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have turned himself off like that. I’d learned over my years of sitting back and watching others quietly that people show signs all the time, even when they thought they weren’t.

“I wouldn’t do that, Galen. Not to you or to Rikki. It won’t be an issue. I don’t have a boyfriend, nor do I plan on it. It’s not something I’m worried about. I understand you might want to find someone...” I paused for a moment, uncomfortable with the conversation. “But, yeah, I know men need comfort, so whatever, just don’t make it obvious please.”

“I never would.” He was looking at me in a strange way and I didn’t know if he was saying he’d never make it obvious or if he was saying he’d never cheat. My heart froze for an instant before skipping back into life hard and fast.

Awareness, again, that strange knowing that had overcome me before. I knew he was there but now I knew he was there. I felt him, I felt his heat, his presence. I could all but feel the blood coursing through his veins as he looked at me across the coffee table.

“Tara, I…”

But he stopped, a buzzing sound letting me know he wasn’t going to finish his thought. I turned away as he talked to his friend John. I breathed deeply, my fingernails digging into the soft cloth of the sapphire blue recliner. So, so close. Again.

Maybe there was hope. It was probably more stupid to hope than it was to marry him, but Galen was changing, he actually saw me now. Maybe there was hope. I wanted to wait for him to finish his conversation, to finish ours, but I fell asleep. I’d spent the entire night tossing and turning, fighting with myself over my decision to say yes.

You might find someone, I thought. That made me laugh.

He might find someone. That made me cry.

Maybe he’ll get custody without you? That was worth smiling over but took me out of Galen’s life.

Galen might get in trouble with the school. That one made me pause. I wasn’t his student but he was an instructor. The school had no official written policy on student-teacher relationships, so maybe he’d get away with it? Perhaps a slap on the wrist, but nothing more? As his wife, there wasn’t much that could be done, but they could still fire him. How would that look to a court? On the other hand, I’m a grown woman. That one still worried me though, how would it look that he married a student? We’d have to cross that bridge when we came to it.

“Hey, Tara. You poor thing. I didn’t mean to be so long.” I opened my eyes to see Galen kneeling beside me, John behind him. I scrubbed at my face, hoping I hadn’t drooled everywhere. My contacts were still in; I could feel them scratching at my eyes and blinked.

I sat up and looked at the men with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I was just so tired all of a sudden.”

“It’s understandable. I guess I turned your world upside down.” Galen looked kind of bashful for a moment, before his finger came up to tuck a curl of escaped hair behind my ear. “Why don’t you get some rest? We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a plan. My brain is done for the day. Oh, my homework is going to be late this week.” I gave him what I hoped was a sassy wink as I stood, straightening my clothes.

“The amount of time you put into your work, Tara, I doubt any of your professors will have a problem. Don’t worry too much but let them know it will be late.” He came with me to his front door and walked me to my own house. We stood on my stoop for a moment, his hand still holding my arm.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” I had to look up to see him, his green eyes drawing me in. I wanted to drown in his eyes, melt against his chest, to touch every single muscular inch of him. If only he’d let me.

His hand came up to cup my cheek, a smile playing around his full lips. Kissable lips. Mmmm, I want him so much. I didn’t say so. I didn’t even sway as he touched me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tara. Goodnight.” He turned, beast mode back in place.

He was crumbling, I could see it. I smiled and went back into the house, going straight to bed. The man could definitely break my heart, but I hoped he wouldn’t. Perhaps it was stupid of me, but it was a chance I was willing to take.