Page 14 of Jocked Up

I envied her in that moment. She had a man that loved her, a companion, and a best friend. I know she’s my best friend but that’s not the same as a partner is it? I felt a bit maudlin after that but I hid it. The baby started kicking when those devilled eggs hit my stomach and everybody took turns resting their hands against my stomach.

Later that evening I reclined in my bed after a shower and watched the baby moving beneath my skin. Her little fists and feet poked me and I could follow her with my finger. I smiled, lost in the moment as the baby reacted to where I placed my finger. I didn’t know if she knew it was me or not, or if she was even aware it was another person moving their finger over her but I kept it up because she continued to follow my finger.

I wondered if Drake would sing to his unborn child, he had a really great voice. I wondered if he’d lay his curly blond head on my tummy, cradling it in his hand the way he’d cradle a football, tenderly and with care, as he sang to his baby. Tears filled my eyes and I quickly jumped off the bed. He wasn’t here and he wasn’t going to be. I didn’t want a man in my life just because I got pregnant, I wasn’t that kind of women. I was strong, I was independent, and I was capable.

I took a deep breath and headed out to work on some of the papers my students had handed in just before the break. I’d given them extra credit work and many had taken me up on the offer. My loneliness ebbed away as I marked the papers, smiling at some of the things the students had come up with. I still felt alone but my distraction technique worked.

The baby kicked again and I put the papers down. I sang one of my favorite songs to my little girl and she settled down. At least my daughter appreciated my voice, I thought with a laugh. I bet she’d appreciate Drake’s more. I finally let myself cry a little in that moment. I didn’t really want to do all of this alone, I really didn’t, but what else could I do? I was not going to go through life with a man blaming me for trapping him.

Drake would undoubtedly feel trapped too. Going from a life where he could do as he pleased with no thought of anyone else to caring for a family, while still trying to do as he pleased, wouldn’t be good for anybody. If he had a fiancée when he’d got me pregnant then he surely wouldn’t stop his wandering ways after he got married. Men like that didn’t change overnight.

Wiping my face and sniffing away my tears I sat up. Nope, no more crying, it was time to be strong again and not let this little emotional bump stop me. Drake didn’t know, he wasn’t going to know, and didn’t deserve to know. I just had to make sure Amelia didn’t tell him before I was ready. I knew she’d tell him but I just needed time to adjust because now I knew he was going to find out. Hopefully, I could put it off until the baby was eighteen and in college.

Chapter Nine

“What do you mean Drake’s coming to my house?” The note of panic in my voice made me squeak as I looked out of the window from my couch. I didn’t see anyone.

“He saw a picture of you on Jake’s social media, from that Christmas Party I talked you into going to. I’m so sorry Bethany. He showed up here demanding answers, I told him he had to talk to you. He’s on his way there now.”

A long string of expletives played out in my mind as I told her I’d call her back later and went into full-on panic mode.

Luckily Peter was with his grandfather. They were supposed to come down tomorrow for Christmas Eve, then Dad was going back to his house. Neither would be here for the explosion that was about to take place. I knew I shouldn’t have gone to that party but Amelia had insisted, telling me I needed to get out for a little while before the baby came. I growled under my breath and picked up the few dishes I’d left sitting on the coffee table. My nerves were so bad the spoon rattled in the bowl as I wobbled into the kitchen.

I took a steadying breath and told myself to calm down. Drake wasn’t a violent person but I’d never seen him angry and surely he was angry? I wasn’t really afraid of him becoming violent, not at all, it was just the emotional hit I was about to take that bothered me. He was going to be so upset I was pregnant, that I hadn’t been careful. I hope he didn’t think I was trying to trap him or something stupid like that. I growled another expletive as I heard his truck coming up my driveway.

I watched him sit in his truck for a moment, staring at my door. This was going to change both our lives and it seemed like he knew it. His face looked stern, frozen, and unreadable. Oh, this wasn’t good.

I cringed as he got out of the vehicle and came up to the door. I decided to face the music and opened the door before he could knock.

“Are you going to be civil?” I asked as soon as he looked up at me. His grey eyes were tormented and was that hurt I saw?

“Of course. May I come in?” He was staring at my stomach with fascination, his eyes wide and round.

“Please do.” I stepped back and he followed me into the house, running his left hand through his hair and down to his chin before going back to his hair again. He was nervous. “Go through to the kitchen, please. No interviews this week? I thought there was some kind of game on just at Christmas time?”

I really wasn’t a football fan.

“I’m not playing in anything for now. It’s almost Christmas anyway, I told them to take a flying leap when I saw that picture. Can we be grown ups and talk about this, Bethany?” Drake took a seat and waited for me to sit down, his fingers tapping nervously on the tabletop.

I have to admit; I was pretty impressed he’d blown off his obligations to the team to find out if I was about to pop his baby out or not. That was something wasn’t it? But I couldn’t give in, I mustn’t. What was it about Drake that made me forget every promise I’d made to myself when he was near? It infuriated me but we had to be civil.

“I guess we have to be, don’t we? You’ve figured it out, I can’t hide it anymore, and you’re going to be a father. But you’re just not father material Drake, I’m sorry.”

“Bethany!” He interrupted me, looking insulted. “I’d never leave you to deal with something like that on your own!”

“Oh, you can say that now but when you get bored with changing diapers, when you get bored with me? What then? Besides, you already have a fiancée, if you’ve forgotten already I’ll remind you.” I looked away from him, not wanting him to see the hurt in my eyes. They probably looked like two drowning chocolate balls. “This wasn’t planned, it wasn’t a trap, I didn’t want you to know actually, but here you are. I want you to know I don’t expect anything from you and I’m making no legal claim to your money or anything else. You can, in fact, walk out of here right now and you’ll never hear from me again.”

His jaw had dropped at the beginning of my speech and by the end of it, he looked a bit ticked off. Actually, he looked a whole lot of ticked off.

“My fiancée?” He asked with a controlled anger that sounded like it was close to snapping.

“Yes, she answered the phone after our little tryst and told me not to call back. I wasn’t going to be the other woman and so I obliged.” I held my neck stiff, staring over his shoulder. I was being amazingly calm but inside I was a screaming wreck that just wanted this all over with. I didn’t want the stress; I just wanted him to go away.

“Right. So she didn’t mention the part where we were never engaged, or that we’d broke up months before that? That I had to get a restraining order against her?” He was calming as he spoke but I wasn’t thawing.

“That may be, and I should have perhaps spoken with you to confirm what she’d told me but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve never really stuck around long once you’ve got what you wanted.” I was speaking as a teacher, formally and without a lot of inflection. I wanted to give in but couldn’t, I couldn’t take that chance.

“Not been around? Not responsible?” He wasn’t happy, I could tell. His eyes were doing this fiery thing that was kind of attractive. “I’ve given back to this community and others in ways you couldn’t dream of! Alright, so maybe I have people that take care of a lot of that for me but you’re being totally unreasonable here…” His words broke off as my eyebrow lifted. He’d just realized that was the wrong word to use.