Page 63 of Dancing On Air

Chapter14

“Nay! Let the boy go,” shouted Eleanor, pushing past Connor and running out to hug Finnian.

“Get away from him. He’s a murdering thief,” spat the guard, pushing her away and keeping her from touching the boy.

“Murdering thief?” Her heart beat furiously and her head snapped around. “Finnian, did you kill someone?”

“Nay, I swear, I didn’t,” cried the boy.

“Well, he stabbed one of our guards in the leg right after he was caught stealing his money pouch,” said the guard holding Finnian. He nodded to a fourth castle guard sitting atop his horse with a bloody cloth wrapped around his leg.

“I only did it because the guard started choking me,” protested Finnian with wide eyes. “Lady Eleanor, please help me. I promise I’ll never steal anything from anyone ever again.”

“Too late for that,” sneered the guard. “Now we’ll have a hanging for the Autumn Festival. That should please Lord Sampson greatly. The crowds like it when a prisoner is executed. It will be entertaining for them.”

“Entertaining? You are a monster!” yelled Eleanor. “I won’t let you kill him. He’s just a boy. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone and you heard him say he’ll never steal again.”

“Do you really expect us to believe that?” asked the first guard, who had come to the door. “We’ve been after this thief for quite some time now. Thank goodness we finally caught him.”

“Aye,” said the guard with him. “It’s just one more filthy, no-good, ragpicker out of our way.”

“Please, Connor. Don’t kill the boy,” begged Eleanor. “I’ll watch over him. I’ll take him back to the abbey with me and make sure he never causes trouble again.”

“Your pleas won’t change a thing,” the first guard informed her. “Let’s get the boy to the dungeon. Hangman, you’re expected to be there for the execution first thing in the morning.”

“Please, Connor,” begged Finnian. “Please don’t kill me!” Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Eleanor looked back at Connor, but his face was emotionless. He didn’t show a bit of care in his expression. When he spoke, he sounded as if he couldn’t care less if the boy should live or die.

“It’s my job now,” said Connor. “I’m sorry, Finnian, but you made your decision and now you’ll have to pay the price. It’s always the way. I should know.”

“That’s right,” laughed the guard as they put the boy on the horse with one of them and turned and rode away.

“That poor boy,” said Raven, watching them leave.

“That poor boy?” asked Connor. “He had plenty of chances to change and he didn’t. He even stole from me. He was warned, but just kept on stealing, and now he’ll pay with his life for his choice.”

“How can you be so cold-hearted?” snapped Eleanor. “Are you really going to execute the boy tomorrow?”

“Do you think I have a choice?” he retorted. “I don’t, Eleanor. I am the executioner now, and you know it. If I don’t kill the boy, they’ll come after Leoric and make him do it. That is something I can never allow. My brother is already terrified by what he saw yesterday. He is not strong like me. He could never do it.”

“Strong? You’re strong? Do you really think executing a young boy makes you strong?” asked Eleanor in disgust. “I think it is cowardly not to stand up for what you believe.”

His dark eyes bore into her and he looked so dangerous that Eleanor wanted to turn and run. She had never seen Connor with such a stark and cold expression. Still, she stood her ground, waiting for him to respond.

“Do you even know the meaning of strong, sweetheart?” he asked her in a cold, cool voice. “Don’t bother to answer that, because I will tell you. Strong is having to do what is expected of me when I know that the only things my future holds are pain, anguish, regret, and sorrow,” said Connor. “Strong is wanting to die, but not taking my own life because I care too damned much what will happen to those I’ll leave behind. Strong is pushing aside the man I once was and assuming the position of the most feared and disrespected person of all, being treated worse than lepers because of a decision I made when I was not more than a boy myself.

“It is carrying on in my father’s footsteps when I have no desire to walk in his shoes and all I want to do is to run the other way. Strong is not questioning why God is punishing me, when all I ever wanted was to honor Him and protect others instead of taking their lives. It is giving up every dream I ever had, and watching the woman I love grieve for me when I am not yet dead. It is taking the path in front of me because I know if I veer off it even the tiniest bit, it will only make things worse for those who mean the most to me in life. That, my dear, is what the hell I mean when I say strong.”

He turned and stormed away, leaving Eleanor and Raven standing there with their jaws dropped. He entered the house and slammed the door behind him.

“S-should I go after him?”Eleanor asked her cousin, not moving, and not sure anymore what she should do.

“Nay. I think he needs some time alone. Let’s get back to the abbey,” said Raven, mounting her horse.

“Aye, the children will need us. They’ll be very upset.”

Eleanor mounted her horse, feeling numb and as if she were in a daze. How could Connor turn so cold so fast? Just yesterday he had seemed so warm and loving and caring. Yesterday, she had hope. Hope that somehow, someway, someday, they would end up together. Now she wasn’t so sure she wanted to be with him. He was about to execute Finnian, a boy she’d helped raise and learned to love. Finnian wasn’t a bad boy. He was only neglected and crying out for help. For attention. She wished now she could have given him what he’d needed, because a big part of this guilt lay on her shoulders as well.