Page 41 of Dancing On Air

“Goodbye,” said Lark, walking over and getting onto the front seat of the wagon.

“Enjoy the food,” said Raven, seeming lost for words and a little uncomfortable being there at all. She joined Lark in the wagon.

Connor looked over at Eleanor, and she couldn’t help seeing the sadness in his eyes. He also seemed as if his pride was hurt by what she had done, even though he didn’t admit it. Then again, he didn’t give the things back either.

“I’ll pay you for all of this as soon as I get a side job and earn some money,” he told her.

“Nay. There’s no need for that. It’s a gift.”

“Dammit, Eleanor, I don’t want gifts! I will provide for my siblings as well as my ailing father on my own.”

“Oh? And how will you do that? Do you have another execution planned soon?”

“Well, nay. But I will find another way to earn the money.”

“Doing what?” asked Eleanor, knowing damned well that no one would ever hire an executioner for anything. Or at least not for any decent job.

“I was going to go to Marvane Castle to clean the gong pits, but my father doesn’t want me to go. He feels it is too belittling to our family after what Lord Sampson has put us through.”

“I agree,” said Eleanor. “Surely there is another way to earn coin.”

“Does the abbey’s gong pit need cleaning?” he asked, surprising her since she didn’t expect him to say that.

Eleanor felt like crying. Just thinking of Connor doing such a demeaning job made her feel ill. She couldn’t even bring herself to answer.

“Well? Does it?” he persisted, making her want to cry now. She knew he wouldn’t stop asking until he received an answer, and part of her wouldn’t let her lie.

Slowly, she nodded.

“Good. Then tell your abbess that my brother and I will be there first thing in the morning to clean it out.”

“Connor, I can’t let you do a job like that.”

“It’s not any worse than hanging a man or lopping off his head, is it?”

“Well... no, but still…”

“Don’t say another word about it. It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does matter. Connor, you are—”

“Shhhh,” he said, holding his finger up to her lips. She felt the warmth of his skin against her and it felt damned good. “I’d rather we didn’t speak of what I am.”

“I was going to say—” She had meant to tell him he was too good to do a demeaning job like that, but he stopped her once again.

“You’d better go. Your cousins, as well as the Woods family, are waiting. Come on, Alaric.” Connor grabbed his little brother by one arm and lifted him up, then set him on the ground. Alaric held out his hands.

“I want to carry the honey.”

“All right, but be careful not to drop it.” He gave the jar to Alaric. The little boy took it and sprinted toward the house.

“Hold it with two hands, and slow down,” Connor called out after his brother.

God, Eleanor wanted to reach out and kiss him right now. Still, she didn’t think Connor would want her to do that. It wasn’t the right time or place. She’d just hurt his pride and she didn’t want to push it or embarrass him any further.

“You’d make a good father,” she said softly so her cousins wouldn’t hear her.

“Well, we’ll never know since I will never get married.”

“Nay? Why not?” she asked curiously. “You used to tell me you wanted five or six sons.”

“At one time I did,” he answered, hanging his head. “But now, I don’t want any children.”

“Why not?” she asked in surprise.

“Eleanor, everything has changed,” he told her. “I once wanted to be a knight like my father. I wished for sons to be knights like me. I always wanted my children to follow in my footsteps. But not anymore.”

“Oh,” she said, realizing exactly what he meant.

“Thank you for your thoughtfulness, but please, this needs to stop. And I don’t ever want to see your face at my door again.”

He turned and walked away, leaving her standing there feeling alone, empty… and severely broken-hearted.