Page 55 of Highland Sky

“Och, I’m so sorry, Nash,” said Kellina. “I kent the battle happened on the road somewhere, but I was young at the time. No one ever told me exactly how it happened or who was involved. All I kent was that it was the MacKeefes.”

“I’m no’ sure anyone kens for sure how their lives were lost. I only wish North and I would have taken horses and followed them that day. But one of our clansmembers stopped us, sayin’ it was by our faither’s orders that we were to stay there and wait for them to return.” Nash’s eyes teared up and he shook his head. “I kent they werena goin’ to return. I just felt it in my heart.”

“Oh, Nash,” she whispered, feeling so sorry for him now.

He cleared his throat and seemed to regain his composure. “Well, now ye see, Kellina, that I am no’ such a cold-hearted, insensitive monster after all.”

Kellina reached out and took Nash’s hand. She saw Nash’s eyes getting wet and knew he was holding back his tears. She had been too soon to judge her husband, and she realized that now. Nash had feelings as well as she did, only he had been holding them all inside and not letting them out.

“I could never think ye are a monster, Nash. Ye are the kindest person I have ever met.”

“Except that I’m a MacKeefe. And responsible for yer parents’ deaths. Or so ye seem to think, since every MacKeefe is to pay for it for the rest of yer life.” His jaw was firm and he looked straight ahead. Kellina had never seen Nash look so upset, or so serious before.

“I’m sorry if ye dinna think much of me right now, but I canna help the way I feel.”

“I’ve been ignorin’ my true feelin’s all this time, but mayhap I shouldna anymore.” He pulled his hand away from her, still looking straight ahead as they rode.

Kellina decided it was better not to talk about their parents right now. Her heart ached for Nash, but she didn’t know how to ease the pain he’d locked away inside himself for all these years. She felt so selfish now, since she never realized that he was in the same position as she was. Kellina kept thinking of Spring’s words, and how Spring told her to try to bring down those walls between them before ones were built that were too high to ever be removed.

She did want to bring down those walls, but didn’t know how to do it. Now, it seemed that Nash had put up a new wall and, this time, it was done specifically to keep her out.

*

Nash hadn’t feltlike talking with Kellina because if he did, he would probably say things he would end up regretting. He had buried inside him long ago the memories of his parents and the events of the day they’d died. Even when Kellina kept going on and on about her parents being killed by MacKeefes, he hadn’t said anything because he didn’t want to remember. It hurt too much. He didn’t want to feel the pain of him and his brother being orphans at such a young age.

Nash loved his parents, and never understood why they had to die. Some battle between the clans took place on the road one day, claiming their lives, was all he knew. There were dead from both sides, but no one knew details, nor did they seem to want to talk about it.

They rode into camp, and Nash jumped off the wagon and started walking, not even helping Kellina dismount. He didn’t want to see her right now. He couldn’t. It wasn’t that he blamed her for his parents’ deaths, that wasn’t it at all. It was just that she had stirred up feelings inside him having to do with that awful day that he never wanted to feel again.

“Brathair, are ye all right?” North met up with Nash and they stopped. “I ken ye’re upset with all this, and rightly so. I am, too.”

“Ye’re damned right I’m upset,” snapped Nash. “I didna ever want to think about that awful day again, and now I’m bein’ forced to.”

“I understand. I feel the same way. Mayhap we should just leave and go back to our own clan. This was a bad idea for the MacKeefes to send us here, of all places.”

“Nay. I canna run from this problem, Brathair. Kellina is my wife now, and I am married unless ye’ve forgotten. I just have to deal with it.”

“Mayhap we can get ye a divorce.”

“I dinna want a divorce,” he ground out. “I want –” He looked over his shoulder and saw Tomas talking with Kellina. Caitlin and Jamie were both crying. Then Kellina took her siblings and headed to the chieftain’s hut. “I dinna ken what I want,” he answered, closing his eyes. “I think I have feelin’s for Kellina, and I canna just walk away from her.”

“Then bring her with ye, Brathair. She can live with the MacKeefes from now on as yer wife.”

“I wish it was that easy. She doesna want to live with our clan, and I dinna want to live with hers.”

“Then what are ye goin’ to do?” asked North.

“I dinna ken,” he answered, watching as Caitlin and Jamie exited the hut. A woman of the clan escorted them away. Tomas spied Nash, and rushed over.

“Nash, the chieftain is about to die. He wants to talk to ye and yer brathair, too,” Tomas informed them.

“Me?” asked North. “What for?”

“Well, this has to do with yer parents, and ye are twins, so it concerns both of ye,” answered Tomas.

“Our parents?” This was the last thing Nash wanted to hear right now. “Fine then. Let’s go, North.” Nash led the way, ducking to enter the small hut, taking a moment for his eyes to grow accustomed to the dark.

There were two candles burning, one of each side of Ciaran’s bed. The man lay there with his eyes closed and his mouth gaping open, looking as if he were already dead and his spirit had fled his body. Kellina sat on the bed next to him, holding his hands in hers.