Page 39 of Highland Flame

“It’s no’,” he answered, sounding sad.

“Then why would she tell ye that? I dinna understand.” She released him, looking him in the eyes. Unspoken pain emanated from his gaze. “Cam, tell me. Please.”

“It doesna matter.” He took his attention back to the box. She stepped closer and put her hand on his shoulder.

“I can tell somethin’ is botherin’ ye. Please, I want to ken what it is.”

“All right,” he said with a sigh. “I suppose if I dinna tell ye, that ye will eventually hear it from my friends.”

“Ye sound like ye have some sort of deep, dark secret,” she said playfully, but her smile disappeared with his next words.

“Dinna we all harbor secrets that we dinna want others to ken?”

“W-what do ye mean?” She nervously pulled her hand away and looked at the ground. “Are ye sayin’ that ye think I have a deep, dark secret I’m hidin’?” God’s eyes, had he somehow found out?

“Nay, dinna be silly. No’ ye, lass,” he said, causing her to release the breath she’d been holding. “Ye are an innocent widow and soon to become a nun. What secrets could ye possibly possess?”

If only he knew what he was asking. She never wanted him to find out. It upset her so much that her legs shook. “I need to sit,” she told him.

To her surprise, his hand was on her arm as he guided her over to a chair.

“Are ye ill, lass?” he asked, sounding as if he truly cared.

“Nay,” she responded, flashing him a quick smile, trying to hide her emotions. “I think I just ate too much pottage and bread earlier. It is makin’ me sleepy.”

“Too much?” he asked with a chuckle. “These monks dinna eat enough to satisfy a mouse.”

“Ye were sayin’? About yer name?” she asked, wanting to turn the conversation back to him.

“Och, that’s right. I am ashamed to admit it, but eventually my mathair told me the truth that she named me after a crooked man who got her pregnant.”

“I’m sorry. Then ye are a bastard, just like Avianca?”

“More so than ye think.” He sat down on a chair next to her, looking very shaken.

“Cam? Tell me what has ye so upset.”

“If I tell ye, do ye promise no’ to judge me?” he asked. “I couldna bear ye lookin’ at me differently because of somethin’ that happened in my past.”

Her heart sped up, making her want to spill her secret now that he’d said that. Still, she wasn’t sure if she should, so she remained quiet.

“I dinna think anyone should be judged or have somethin’ held against them for things they might have done in the past.”

“Well, it’s nothin’ that I did. No’ really,” he said, opening up to her just a little, and then looking like he was about to put up walls again.

She spoke gently, trying to coax him to say more. “Ye can tell me anythin’ about ye, Cam, and I promise I willna judge ye. What is it that is troublin’ ye so?”

“First of all, let me tell ye that I am no’ as cold-hearted as ye think. I only said I couldna be Avianca’s faither because of my past.”

“I dinna understand.”

A worried look creased his brow, and finally he continued. “My mathair wasna married. Ever,” he told her.

“Och, I see. So, a man forced himself on her then? That is terrible.”

“Nay!” He stood up and paced the floor. “Ye dinna understand. No one forced themselves on my mathair. Believe me, it was all more than a willin’ act.”

“Then she had a lover. A man who laid with her and wouldna marry her afterwards. Isna that what ye mean?”