Page 4 of Trick or Heat

Mavin and I have been friends since freshmen year when we took the same grueling statistics class with a stickler for a professor. Her determination to pass despite our teacher’s horrible attitude is what drew me to her in the first place. That and we just happened to sit next to each other. She’s been a confidant ever since.

She and her pack recently bonded, which means they are always together now. Luckily, I like her pack, and they’re completely in love with Mavin. I’ve never seen her happier.

Still, it’s left me feeling some kind of way. As an omega, I definitely want a pack, but the idea that Casey and I will find alphas that want us both seems very slim. I’m always at war with what to do: live in the moment with Casey or think about what my omega ultimately needs for future heats.

My heat hasn’t come yet, which would be concerning if I weren’t so determined to avoid it at all costs. Normally, an omega’s first heat happens sometime after designating, but here I am three years later and I’m yet to have one.

When I realized that mine would be later than usual, I was relieved. I didn’t know what I would do if I needed to find alphas. The idea of letting a stranger help me when I’m most vulnerable is terrifying. I imagine the only person I’m going to want is Casey.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a knot, and biology is a bitch.

Like she can hear my thoughts, Maven asks, “Are you bringing Casey as your date?”

I choke, my throat suddenly dry. “We are coming together, but not as each other’s date.”

She snorts. “Please. Are you going to tell him that?”

I whip my head in her direction. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Come on, Elsie. You two are practically glued at the hip.”

“Platonically glued,” I murmur, but apparently not quietly enough because she narrows her gaze on me.

“I don’t understand why you two keep running around each other. Why is it so hard for you to have an honest conversation with him about how you’re feeling?”

“You’re just saying that because your love story worked out,” I tease, my fingers fidgeting with the tassels on my dress as a distraction.

“Don’t turn this back on me,” she scolds, but her lips twitch with amusement. “I guarantee that he will surprise you.”

My lips flatten, because it’s not that simple. My worry isn’t that Casey doesn’t love or care about me, my worry is that it won’t matter in the end when we need alphas to simply survive.

“You two are so cute. You look like you belong together. And the way he looks at you…” She sighs dreamily.

Casey’s face flashes in my mind, that same look that Mavin is referencing clear as day in my memory. The way his lips curve softly, the way his crystal-blue eyes hold mine with intensity. If I let myself, I’ll start believing that those looks mean more than they do. I’ll start to let myself believe that there is a future for us that doesn’t end in horrible heartbreak.

I shake my head, trying to clear the traitorous thoughts before I look back at my friend. “My maybe-unrequited-maybe-mutual crush will have to wait,” I say, changing the subject. “At least until after your pack’s fabulous party tonight.”

“Hm, I wouldn’t be so sure,” Mavin laughs as a wicked gleam enters her eye. “Halloween always has a way of pulling things out of us.”

I sigh. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

TWO

I tighten the leather strap around my shoulder, nervously fidgeting as I stand on the stoop. My hands are a sweaty wreck as it slips right out of my grasp. I huff out in frustration and wipe my palms on my pants.

The party roars behind me, pumpkins scattered across the yard and college students laughing drunkenly on the porch. I try not to grit my teeth at how relaxed and carefree they sound. My anxiety over tonight isn’t anyone else’s issue. This burden is all my own, especially because I’m bringing it upon myself.

I take a deep breath. Tonight is the night. I’m finally going to tell Elsie that I’m in love with her.

I think about all the times over the years when I had the chance but not the courage: When we were twelve and our friends were trying to pressure Elsie into going to the seventh grade dance with Emil Keahi; when she broke her arm one summer and she saved a spot for my signature despite me being away at summer camp for two weeks; when grimy Ronnie asked her to prom our junior year and she said she was going with me instead.

Last year, when my casual relationship with one of the guys from the football team fizzled out and left me raw around every edge. When she nursed me back to life when he left me high and dry after my latest heat and my hormones were out of whack. When she held me and whispered to me and bled life back into me.

I never had the guts to step forward and declare my feelings. The moment always felt slightly off-kilter, the motivation not pure. Then there was always the chance that Elsie wouldn’t feel the same way. Any hypothetical where Elsie was no longer my best friend, but instead a distant stranger or just someone I used to know, halted the confession in its tracks. That sounds like the worst reality to be a part of.

I can’t think of anything worse than not being in Elsie’s life.

This tiny dose of courage didn’t just spring up overnight. I may be setting my deep-seated fears to the side, but it’s not without provocation. Last week, I was just as scared of the possibility of losing Elsie as I’ve always been, but then I overheard her speaking to Mavin.