Page 53 of Carson

He gives me a quick glance as he types. “I felt like a kid when she offered, but now I’m glad we have them.”

“Me too.”

He puts his phone in his bag after he’s messaged her. We skip the gift shop and head straight for the cliffs.

“It’s nice that we’re here off-season. I bet this place is crazy busy in the summer.”

I can’t even look around to see who else is here. My eyes are fixed on the horizon as we seemingly approach the edge of the world.

The wind blows hair around my face as I lean into the short wall in front of us.

Oh my god.

I’m standing in the place where my mother once stood. A knot begins to form in my throat, and everything becomes blurry as I place my hands over my ears, wanting desperately to know exactly how my mother experienced it.

Carson takes in the scene, but I notice him turn toward me after a few minutes. He doesn’t ask what I’m doing. He just watches me.

I take a deep breath, the salty scent of the ocean filling my nose. The emotion hits me all at once, and I begin to cry.

He shifts to stand behind me, placing a hand on the wall on each side of me, and he whispers in my ear. “It’s knowing the universe is always at your back as you face the wild unknown.”

A direct quote from my mother herself. A sound leaves my throat that would be embarrassing in any other circumstance, but in this one, it feels right.

I don’t understand how the simple act of delivering a pizza led to me standing in the arms of a stranger, in a foreign land, at one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen.

How does that happen?

I know it’s a gift from him, but it feels like it’s also one from her.

“I’m sorry,” I say, lowering my hands from my ears, wiping my eyes.

His arms wrap around me. “For what?”

“For being so emotional.”

He rests his chin on my shoulder as we watch the waves crash against the rocks below. “That’s nothing to be sorry for. It just showed me how much this means to you. How much your mom meant to you.”

“Seriously, Carson, I can’t tell you how much this means to me. My soul has been longing to feel close to her.”

He looks out over the ocean. “I don’t know what I would do without my mother,” he says. “I’m glad being here makes you feel close to her, but you don’t owe me anything. I never would have gotten to see any of this if it hadn’t been for you.”

“You didn’t need me to come here.”

“I think I did.”

I tip my head against his, because if that’s what he believes then it’s true. I certainly believe I would never have made it here without him. He was quite literally the only way I was able to get on that plane.

We’re both quiet as we walk hand in hand along the cliff’s edge.

We spend the entire day on and below the cliffs. He booked us a boat ride, and it was indescribable. I’ve never been on the ocean before. Another thing I thought would be terrifying but actually turned out to be quite invigorating.

“I’m not sure if we got your mother’s exact room, but she did say she had a perfect view of the Aran Islands from her window,” he says as he holds the door open for me while juggling all of our bags. He refuses to let me carry anything but the takeout we picked up from a food vendor at the boat dock.

I set it on the table beside the window, looking out at a view that looks like something out of a fairytale.

We fall into the chairs across from each other, completely exhausted.

“I’m starving,” he tells me, pulling the boxed containers out of the bag.