Page 18 of Carson

“It’s really cool that you two live together,” I say as Carson turns onto a path that leads around back. “And that your whole family lives on the same land.”

“It’s the best. I mean, I enjoyed our time out in Cheyenne, but like they say, home is where the heart is, and mine is with my family.”

I understand what he’s saying. My home used to be in Montana with my mom, but once she left this earth, I’ve been fluttering around like a butterfly with nowhere to land. “Is this it?” I ask excitedly, seeing the stream within throwing distance.

He chuckles. “It is.”

I begin to clap as he backs onto the concrete slab, pulling close to an electrical box.

“There’s a water spigot over there.” He pauses to point to a bright red pump a few feet away. “But feel free to use the bathroom up at the house. We’ll leave our door unlocked.”

“No. That is fine. I have water tanks. The pump will be great for filling them.”

“You won’t be scared out here by yourself?”

I shake my head. “This is nothing. I’ve stayed out in the middle of nowhere on public lands.”

We both get out and stretch.

“I’m impressed.”

“Doesn’t matter where you are in the world. You always have to have your head on a swivel,” I tell him. I know better than anyone that danger can be in your own home.

“Do you carry?” he asks, walking around to the back of my van to check out my electrical system.

“I do.”

My stomach tightens at the pleased look that passes over his face at my response.

He whistles when I open the back doors and show him it’s under my bed. “Quite the setup. Did you do all of the work yourself?”

Heat rushes to my cheeks at his subtle compliment. I love that he didn’t just automatically think a man did this for me.

“I did.” I bend over at the waist, letting my hair shield my face. “You can learn anything on YouTube,” I tell him.

It makes him laugh, drawing my attention back to him. “You can, but executing it without executing yourself, that takes a little bit of know-how.”

I couldn’t stop the dopey grin forming on my face if I tried.

“Don’t sell yourself short, sweetheart. Your whole van is cool as fuck.”

Gah, what is happening to me? I shake my head, trying to clear whatever it is. It’s a lack of shut-eye. I’m sure of it. A good night’s sleep and I’ll feel more like myself.

“Do you hear that?” I ask.

His brows slowly pull together as he looks around. He shakes his head. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“Oh, there it is again. It’s my bed. It’s calling to me,” I say, quickly closing the back door to my van.

A nervous little cough leaves his throat. “Oh, I see how it is. I’m being dismissed.”

Guilt hits me at the disappointment he’s desperately trying to hide in his voice.

My hand shoots out and wraps around his fingers as he turns away. I tug him back around. “I’m sorry. I don’t …” I take a deep breath. “I don’t know how to do this.” I keep his hand in mine as my other one motions between the two of us.

I don’t want him to think I don’t like his company. I do. That in itself is strange. I need time to process it.

The muscles in his face instantly relax. “That’s okay. I forget you’re used to being alone. This must be a lot.”