Page 153 of Carson

“Oh, honey, it’s going to be okay,” he says, tugging me out of the closet and hugging me.

“It’s not. She’s going to be deaf. I just know it. My mom saw you signing to her in the garden.”

“Hey, look at me.”

I wipe my eyes on the back of my hand.

“Did she tell you that your daughter would be deaf?”

“No.”

“Then maybe I was signing to her because her grandmother is deaf.”

A tiny part of me pauses. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’ve always assumed it was because my mom was deaf. That my daughter would inherit it. But what he’s saying makes sense. “You really think that’s what it was?”

“We can’t be certain until she’s here, but I think it’s a strong possibility. Besides, even if she is, we’ll get her through it, just like we’re doing with Lily.”

He holds the test strip up. “I’m fucking thrilled about this, Luna, and I know Lily will be too. You might just be giving us our first granddaughter.”

My hand goes to my stomach. Remembering my mom telling me it was her turn to hold the baby. My baby.

I’m sad she won’t be able to hold her here with me, but it is comforting to know she’s been safe with my mom on the other side. If there is such a thing.

“When are you going to tell Carson?” he asks.

My anxiety spikes again.

“Oh my gosh. We all just got settled in at the cabin. Cole and Carver aren’t going to want a crying baby around.”

“How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks.

He’s right. I’m writing the story in my head before it even plays out. I don’t know how they’re going to react. I haven’t seen them much. They’ve been busy with their search for Nyx and Nova.

“Okay. Okay, so I should just relax?”

“I think so.”

“How do I do that?”

He chuckles. “Well, I know what always makes Lily feel better.”

“Retail therapy?”

“You know it.” He pulls me to my feet and then drives me to the baby store in town.

A few hours later, he’s helping me carry a bassinet and a few other things up to our room.

I tried to tell him he was buying too much, but he wouldn’t stop.

“You’ll set up the camera so we can all watch?”

I nod, bouncing on my toes. “I’m so nervous.”

“Nervousness and excitement are the same feeling. Are you sure you’re just not excited?”

Hmm. Maybe I am.

I am excited.