Page 29 of Fake it With Me

But she and Liza had gotten along almost immediately.

Daisie was happy. Really, genuinely happy. And I would do anything to keep her that way.

Liza was surprisingly fun to hang out with, too. I knew she was smart. You didn’t get into a PhD program without being intelligent. But I hadn’t expected her to be funny. All day, I had gotten the chance to have real conversations with her, and that was a change. Other women I dated were pretty but shallow. Not dumb, just focused on themselves and things that were only important to them.

Liza made dry observations about the movie. When Daisie asked questions about whether the ocean could really choose someone, Liza launched into an explanation of ocean currents and tides that somehow made it sound magical rather than scientific.

“So the ocean can’t really talk,” Daisie said, sounding disappointed.

“Well, not in words. But it has its own language. Waves and currents and tides. If you learn to read it, it tells you things.”

“Like what?”

“Like when a storm is coming. Or where the fish are. Or which way to sail to get where you’re going.” Liza glanced at me. “Your dad probably knows some of this already. People who build boats have to understand the ocean.”

“Is that true, Daddy?”

“It’s true.”

Daisie seemed very satisfied with that answer. Liza looked at me and flashed a smile. I winked in response.

When the movie ended, Daisie was rubbing her eyes, fighting sleep even though it was clearly winning.

“Bedtime, kiddo,” I said, standing up and stretching.

“I’m not tired.”

“Sure you’re not.” I held out my hand. “Come on. Teeth, pajamas, bed.”

She took my hand and let me lead her upstairs. After getting her changed into her pajamas, I tucked her in.

“Daddy?” Her voice was wobbly.

I knew that meant tears were incoming.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I miss Mommy.”

The words were like a gut punch. I sat down on the edge of her bed, trying to figure out what to say. This happened sometimes. She would have a great day, be perfectly happy, and then bedtime would come and she’d remember that her mother wasn’t there to say goodnight.

“I know you do,” I said, smoothing her hair back from her forehead. “But hey, don’t be sad. You had such a good day today, right? Let’s think about all the fun we had.”

“But I’m sad now,” she said. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. “Is that okay? Can I be sad even if I had fun?”

I opened my mouth, not sure how to answer that.

“Of course you can be sad,” Liza said.

My head whipped around. I hadn’t even known she was there.

She walked in and sat on the other side of the bed. She started rubbing Daisie’s arm in slow, soothing circles. “You can feel lots of things at the same time. Happy about today and sad about missing your mom. Both of those feelings are real, and both are okay.”

“Really?” Daisie sniffled.

“Absolutely,” Liza said. “I cry when I see some commercials or when I hear music I love.”

I watched and listened. This was the girl thing I didn’t fully understand.