Page 32 of Lash’s Love

Nyx: hey girl, I got a lead on Acid’s SAA. You want to come with us to pick him up?

Me: yes count me in. I’ll let Toby know I’m working late.

Nyx: you ever going to tell him what you’ve been up to?

Me: yeah after I find these assholes that hurt our family. I don’t need them trying to tell me I can’t be in on bringing justice to my family. You know they won’t let me be a part of any of it once they find out what I’ve been doing.

I then go to the next message chain with my nosey husband.

Me: I’m going to ignore you telling me who I can and can’t be friends with. But anyway, I won’t be home til late. I’m working late at the shop, then going out with my friends.

Toby: Sophie, baby. Come on, please don’t do anything stupid. I know you are up to something.

I ignore that message because I don’t need this shit. I click to the next message.

Mama M: hey sweet girl, do you know what you want for dinner tonight? I was gonna make something and see if you were cool with Daisy, Dare, Dallas and Dash staying tonight with us. Delaney and Declan said they wanted to go home tonight.

Me: hey mama m, I’m not going to be home for dinner. Working late and going out with my friends. So whatever works for you guys. I’d talk to Tobs and find out what time he’s gonna be home, he told me he has a late client as well. I’m fine if the kids want to stay with you. Delaney and Declan can go home with their daddy if they want to. Thank you for all that you do.

Mama M: Alright that sounds good, I’ll text him. You better be safe my girl. Those babies need their mama. Plus you’ve got those two new baby boys. Which by the way they were amazing today. They are such good babies, they spent all day behaving for their grandpa. I didn’t get to spend much time with them since I was schooling with the kids, but their grandpa was all about those baby snuggles. Also Reese, Lilly and Tabs came home for the next couple weeks. So they are thrilled to love up on the babies.

I smiled at that, I didn’t know my sisters-in-law were coming home and I’m so glad that they get to see the kids.

Me: that’s awesome! I didn’t know they were coming home. I’m sure that adds to the kids wanting to stay, I’m really surprised that Deck and Delaney don’t want to stay if they are there.

Mama M: Deck wants to have some time with just himself. He says that all the crazy can stay with me haha. Delaney just said she wanted her daddy. I think she’s just tired. The girls decided to come home and surprise us. We didn’t know they were coming, but it’s a wonderful surprise.

I hear the door to my office open and look up to see my big brother coming in. Before I even get a word out he opens his big mouth.

“What is going on with you? Your husband is driving me up a wall trying to figure out what you are doing. Now we know that you are spending a lot of time with the Sirens. Don’t pretend you don’t know who they are because you grew up in this world, I know you’ve heard rumors. What’s going on? I thought you were moving on with Toby. Thought you guys were in counseling and working on trust and forgiving him for the shit that happened. He was listening to what he knew with the club law when he couldn’t tell you about club business. When shit went down he called it to the table and changed how in the dark we keep the ol’ ladies to protect them. So now why are you hiding shit? If this is something that’s going to get you in trouble Soph or if you are putting yourself in danger, you need to tell us what you’re doing.”

“Listen, Luca, I love you, but what is going on with my marriage really isn’t anybody’s business. Toby and I are fine. Honestly, whatever I am doing is nobody’s business. We will call it ‘ol’lady’s business’. My business. You know you’ve got your club business, I’ve got my business.”

“Soph, this isn’t a joke. The shit with the club was to protect the ol’ ladies. It was a bylaw, one that we changed and amended to involve you guys more and to help the brothers not keep important secrets from their ol’ ladies. He did that shit for you. He brought that to the table. Now he is worried that with everything that has gone on, you are still pulling away and doing something that will make him lose you. Now please, explain to me what you are doing with the Sirens.”

I sigh, “Look, I am just doing something that will make sure nothing happens to me again. I don’t want anyone taking me from my children again. So they are teaching me things, that’s all. I’m learning how to protect myself better than I have and learning how to protect my family. Toby is driving me crazy, so we’ve been fighting. It is nothing. We’ve been together since we were 14, and have been best friends since mama gave birth to me. We will be fine, sometimes couples have their little individual time. Couples fights drive each other crazy, that’s just how it goes. I mean shit most of our relationship was him not being able to tell me everything because it was part of the club rules. I understood until my children got involved and you all kept me in the dark for months. Not knowing what was going on with my kids, if you found anything. If you had any inclination as to what was going on. That was part of my breaking point with the club and your ‘club business’. My kids and my family should never have been something you all kept to yourself. I have let him back in my home, in my bed and I’m still being told all that is not enough. Come on. I made some new friends who are helping me feel stronger, more like the ol’ lady I want to be. The ol’ lady who can protect her family better than I did before. If you guys have a problem with that, so be it.”

“Soph, I understand that you want to do things to protect yourself, but why are you keeping shit a secret from Toby? I mean if that is all it is, just tell him. I mean shit you’re doing counseling and you’re not telling him even then. He is going crazy. He can’t lose you. Shit Soph, we can’t lose you. Toby was a mess when you were taken and when you were in a coma. I was totally afraid we were gonna lose him too. So whatever you are doing, be careful. Know that you can come to the club with anything. We want to help you and we didn’t keep you in the dark to be malicious. We were doing what we thought was right.”

“Unfortunately, Luca, our father ruined a lot of my trust in the club. The secrets, the pride, the fact that the brotherhood was put before my family. His family. He knew what he was doing. I just don’t believe that you guys would have my back if I needed it. If it came down to the club being destroyed or me. Or even hell my kids. You guys don’t know what it is like to feel like the family I thought I had was a lie. Before Dash and Dallas were taken, before mama was killed I would've thought that family was more important. But it was clear that our grandfather’s legacy was more important to uphold than keeping our family intact.

You all are acting like this happened forever ago and I should be over all my issues by now. Look, I am letting you guys come around, I’m talking to you. I’m spending time with the brothers, letting my kids spend time with the brothers. I am not holding up in my house. Be grateful. Toby is my safe place, my haven. Sometimes I wish he wasn’t because I still hold a lot of anger for everything that has happened. I can’t breathe without him, so it makes being angry with him so hard. When I shut everyone out for months, when I shut him out, I felt like I was missing a huge part of myself. I still feel like that, but fuck Luca, I am so fucking angry and you guys just think that is all going to go away and be better not even a year later. Mama hasn’t even been buried a year and I’m supposed to just not be angry. Two of my children were taken and at that time they saw things that happened to their MiMi. Then I was taken and had two children basically ripped from my womb and missed months of their lives. I’m struggling, yes, I am in therapy. Yes we are all in therapy, but fuck you all need to stop acting like everything can just go back to normal. It can’t.”

“I know all of that Sophie, so don’t act like I don’t. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since all this has happened. You haven’t really been the same with any of us. We all miss you. Dad is heartbroken with everything that has gone on and yet he understands you need someone to blame and it is easier to blame him, but he worries about you Sophie. We all worry about you. We just don’t want you to get so wrapped up in something that you do something that will end up making us lose you. We don’t want you to do something that is going to change you more than this already has. We shielded this from you because we didn’t want all this horrible shit to touch you and change you.”

“Well guess what Luca, I would never do anything alone or anything that would cause my children to lose their mother. I would never in a million years want any of my children to experience the loss of their mother at the ages they are. Not really even at our ages, it is horrible. My babies have so much life to live and because of dad’s pride and not shutting this fucker down when he knew they were a threat before they got backing, before they got momentum, he let them sit around like they were not a threat. Look what has happened! All of this could’ve been preventable. So lets just not pretend that dad is the reason all this shit has happened.”

“You sound like a child Sophie. Dad didn’t do any of this, they did. You need someone to blame you, blame Acid MC. Not our fucking father. That man would die for any of us. So grow up. Dad couldn’t have known any of this shit was going to happen, stop acting like he did all this on purpose.”

“I was going to talk to you, but I think you need to leave. If it were your kids that these things happened to, you would not be so careless with your words. You would not sit here and preach to me about who I am allowed to be angry at and who I am not allowed to be angry at. I don’t want you coming back here for a while.” With that I grab my purse and keys and head out of my office.

“Ruby, lock up when you are done. Make sure Luca leaves.” I yell over my shoulder as I head out. The guys didn’t have appointments today so it was just Ruby and I in the shop today. Since she lives upstairs I know that she will lock up for me. I head to my car and hop in as I see Luca coming out of the building.

“Sophie! Come on! Wait!”

I don’t wait to talk to him, instead I peel out of the parking lot to head to my meeting place with Nyx. We have an Acid asshole to find.

Chapter Twenty-Seven