Page 53 of Bewitching the Wolf

She’s a virgin.

Was. Might as well have finished the job you started.

You fucking lowlife.

My wolf is doing everything it can to make me turn around, but I push on faster, my feet pounding through the parklands and into the wilder outreaches, further, further. I reach the perimeter of the Trojan lands, and the vegetation thins. I see coils of barbed wire sticking up above huge boulders.

Braden lands, my wolf mutters, and I feel its energy recoil.

I’m not afraid of Bradens, I telepath.

I stand, panting, on the edge of the parklands, the darkness enveloping me. Even with wolf vision, it’s hard to see what’s out there.

My wolf goes quiet, leaving me alone with my raw emotions.

And suddenly, an overwhelming sense of loneliness, of grief and loss bears down on me.

I don’t know where to go. I have no place to rest my head—or my heart. I haven’t since I was thirteen years old.

I pinch the bridge of my nose as tears gather, hot and caustic behind my eyes.

I don’t want to be a lost human. Or an angry resentful wolf. And I certainly don’t want them both inside of me, fighting. Particularly over the one person I care about more than anyone else.

I sink down and a dry sound comes from deep in my throat, a strangled cry of despair.

Despair for all those years that were lost to me when I was programmed and felt nothing. Despair for the three years after Traggar turned me and I had such strong feelings, a turmoil of need and longing inside of me, and no fucking clue how to express it.

And now, damn it, I know exactly what I feel.

I feel… love.

I love Tippy with all my heart and soul, and I’ve ruined my chances with her.

I fall to the ground and rock, sobbing. I don’t know how long I stay crumpled there, my forehead against the hard rock, tears coursing down my cheeks.

But gradually, something changes, some shift takes place inside me. But it’s not my wolf.

The old Jax rises up in me. The one who was fearless. The one who hacked holes in the walls of Sparkle City to look for his missing mom. The one who kept going despite being thrown into remand school, because nothing mattered more than making my family whole again.

And suddenly everything becomes clear.

I must prove my worth if I am ever going to be worthy of Tippy’s love.

Me and my fucking wolf have to work as one.

Clambering to my feet, I stumble toward the barbed wire, and the ominous, cavernous darkness beyond.

My wolf doesn’t like what I’m doing. I sense that it is— what? Fearful.

It’s pulling back, bracing against my human wishes.

But I won’t let it.

It’s been yanking me around like I’m a dog on a chain.

Now it’s my turn.

My wolf whines and I feel it digging in its paws, backing down.