Page 79 of Lord Hartwell’s Refuge

“You heard about that too?”

At this, Charles cocked his head to one side, expression rather incredulous. “The moment I walked into the house. Anne was quick to tell me about ‘the baron taking an interest in the family.’ I went to Father to find out what that meant exactly. He was delighted someone had made a decision, and he was no longer expected to have an opinion.”

Despite herself, Tamsin laughed. “I doubt he stated it that plainly. He is not that bad.”

Charles looked at her.

Her laughter quieted.

Perhaps he was. Not deliberately, of course. No one had ever deliberately handed Tamsin the Mayweather family and told her to carry it. She simply had, because someone must. The look Charles had given her said that he was well aware of their father’s habits and lack of awareness, lack of interest in his own family, and as she stared at her brother, a thought came clearly into her mind.

“You…knew,” she said out loud, voice soft and plaintive to her own ears, even as her chest contracted.

Charles sighed. “Knew what, Tamsin?”

“What—what it was like.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean? What Father is like?”

Slowly, she shook her head. “No, I mean…all of it. The whole family—Father, Anne, Leopold. You knew. And you simply…left.”

The way his expression immediately cleared told her at once that he understood what she meant, and that was the strongest evidence of all. “Yes.” The answer came quietly, and he did not duck his head in shame nor even apologize for it.

She stared, a sudden pain in her heart. He had known, and he had not done anything. “Why did you never say anything?”

“To what purpose, Tamsin?”

How could he say that? “It might have helped.”

Charles’s face changed. “I did help, when I could. Or I used to.”

“Did you?” The words escaped before she could stop them, but she found she did not regret them. “Did you truly do anything at all, Charles?”

Charles did not become angry or defensive. “No,” he admitted with a shrug. “Or at least, not enough.” The complete surrender in his tone made it somehow worse.

Tamsin looked out the window at the now-empty garden, noting the growing dark, as she tried to compose herself.

Hurt warred with frustration in her heart. She wanted to excuse him, she realized. As she had excused him for years. He had been unaware, she thought. Too busy in his own busy life to recognize what went on with their family. But all the times he had disappeared from conversations, from the tension in a room, weighed upon her mind.

“When I could leave,” Charles admitted after a long, silent moment, “I left.”

She turned back. “You ran away from home and from our family.”

“Yes.” No defense. No excuse. Just that single word. Yes.

Tamsin gripped the arms of her chair and leaned forward, keeping her gaze on his, not looking away. How could he admit it without any sign of shame or guilt? “Why?”

Charles leaned back in his chair. For once, he did not seem to have an easy answer waiting, and did not try to jest. “Because every time I came home there was something. Father needed a letter written. Anne needed someone to speak to a tradesman. Leopold had done something idiotic. Seraphina and Pearl were at one another like cats and dogs, one of the babies needed something arranged, a lesson or a doctor or to make an apology to a neighbor. There was always something, something that someone needed, and for some reason no one seemed capable of handling things themselves. There was never any order, no attempt at management. I learned if I did not want to carry all of it myself, it was best to avoid it entirely.”

“What about me?” she asked quietly, trying to keep her voice from trembling. “What did I need from you?”

Charles sighed heavily. “Nothing, Tamsin. You’d learned to take care of yourself before you ever learned to ask for help.”

When Tamsin stared at him in shock, he grimaced. “That sounded worse than I meant it to.”

A laugh that had nothing to do with amusement left her lips. “It sounded perfectly clear to me.” Athena sat up and dropped her head in Tamsin’s lap, looking up at her with eyes full of concern.

“Tamsin.” He leaned forward, clasping both hands between his knees. “You did not need me.”