Page 67 of Lord Hartwell’s Refuge

The problem was, Roman did not know what remained when action had been removed from a sincere apology.

He had already admitted his error. He should have spoken to her before going to Sycamore Lodge, that was indisputable. Had he known she would object so strenuously, he would of course not gone. But he could not regret the entirety of what he’d done.

Tamsin had spent the afternoon receiving callers in her new position as Lady Hartwell, an activity he knew left his mother tired, and Tamsin had certainly looked quite exhausted when he’d returned home from Sycamore Lodge. Her head had hurt. Yet she had still intended to travel outside the city to her family’s home to unravel a problem involving a child with a governess, two parents, several elder siblings, and an entire household of servants.

Because Anne Mayweather had asked her to.

Roman poked at a pea. Except that was not the entirety of it, as she had explained. Tamsin had wanted to go because the child needed her. He had been corrected on that point.

Attempting to watch his wife without her noticing his focus, he studied her from the corner of his eye. Tamsin was listening to his mother describe some mishap Princessa had caused that morning. She smiled and bent to glance beneath the table, where the little dog had stationed herself hopefully beside Frances’s chair.

Sometimes I want to be needed by him.

Roman understood wanting to be needed. That was not the difficulty; he understood it perhaps too well. What he did not understand was how one distinguished between being needed and being used, when the same person willingly permitted both.

Apparently Tamsin had felt needed. Not used. According to her pointed question, Roman did not know her well enough to tell the difference on her behalf.

“Roman, you have scarcely touched your dinner.”

He looked at his mother to find her watching him. Tamsin was examining him too. Two pairs of eyes stared, waiting for him to address the reason behind the abundance of food still upon his plate.

He took another bite, even though his appetite had disappeared. “I am eating.”

His mother gave him the look mothers had likely been giving sons since the Vikings occupied York. “Roman. You need to keep up your strength.”

“Mother, I assure you, I am capable of feeding myself.”

Tamsin’s mouth twitched.

There! He had said something that amused her. At last. She had nearly smiled. For one ridiculous instant Roman felt he’d accomplished something significant.

Then she lowered her gaze again, and dinner continued as it had before

His mother excused herself earlier than usual. Roman suspected treachery immediately when she announced that she was tired after the afternoon’s callers, even though he was quite aware she’d already had a nap. He could not entirely blame her if all she wanted was to escape the awkwardness between the newlyweds. They all stood when she did.

“Good night, my dears.”

“Good night, Mother.” Tamsin came around the table and kissed her cheek.

Roman did the same. Frances looked at him for half a second longer than necessary, eyebrows arched ever-so-slightly.

Definitely treachery.

She departed with Princessa trotting after her leaving Roman and Tamsin alone, the silence between them reminding him he still needed to say something. That much was obvious. For a moment, he silently watched Tamsin fold her napkin and place it beside her plate.

“Tamsin.”

She looked up with a bland expression.

Again, he had nothing prepared. This was becoming intolerable! He could tell her again that he’d meant to help with the Henry situation, but she knew that. He could apologize once more. He had done so, or near enough to it. Of course, he could tell her she had been right. But about what, precisely?

He still did not believe she should run to Sycamore Lodge whenever her family encountered a trite difficulty they could solve themselves. But that wasn’t what she’d asked him to understand.

I wanted to speak to him.

Roman rubbed his thumb against the edge of his napkin. “I thought I ought to say… That is, you should know I…”

Tamsin waited.