Page 187 of Scarbound

Sogogi-mu-guk.

He put in his AirPods, started a soft playlist, and made himself a coffee while he worked. For several minutes, the apartment was peaceful. Beef simmering. Rice cooking. Music in his ears. Coffee warming his hands.

Then something on the counter caught his eye. A piece of beige paper lay beside an empty whiskey glass.

Noeul stopped chopping. There was something familiar about the paper.

He pulled out one AirPod. The apartment was completely silent.

He wiped his hands and picked it up. He knew he shouldn’t read it. Still, his eyes moved to the first line. His breath caught. He read it again. Then once more.

It was Haneul’s suicide note.

Noeul’s fingers tightened around the paper. With trembling hands, he continued.

Hyung,

I don’t think Noeul knows what Gong has done to me. At least, I hope he doesn’t. Please don’t blame him.

Noeul stopped breathing. His eyes moved back over the sentence.

I don’t think Noeul knows.

He read on.

I can’t live with this anymore. It’s been happening for almost a year. I was too scared to tell anyone. Gong kept touching me even when I told him not to. He forced himself on me. I tried to pretend I could endure it, but I can’t.

Noeul’s stomach turned. For one strange second, the words seemed to disappear from the page. A cold sensation crawled over his skin, followed by an urge to get out of his own body, so sudden and intense that he nearly dropped the note.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

Haneul.

This was about Haneul. He forced himself to keep reading.

I feel sick all the time. I hate what he did to me. Sometimes I hate myself too, even though I know I shouldn’t. Every day feels like another day I have to survive, and I’m tired, hyung.

His vision blurred.

Please don’t blame Noeul. Whatever happens, don’t punish him for Gong.

Noeul stared at the final line. He read it again. Then the meaning of everything above it reached him at once. The paper slipped in his fingers.

“No…”

His knees weakened. He caught the edge of the counter, but it wasn’t enough. He sank to the floor, the note still clutched in one hand.

“No, no…”

His breathing came too quickly.

Gong.

Haneul.

The words refused to fit together. He covered his mouth, but a broken sound escaped anyway.

Chung-Hee appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. For a second, he didn’t understand what he was seeing. Then he noticed the beige paper in Noeul’s hand. His face changed.