Page 86 of At The End Of The Day

He rolled a shoulder, his behavior anxious.

I picked up my pack of cigarettes on the arm of the lounge, knocked two out, and lit them, extending an arm to hand him one. Taking it, he pulled a deep drag into his lungs while squinting at me through his lashes.

“You look a little better today.”

His head bobbing, he went to the railing to look out over the yard. “I just ate one of Piera’s little snack trays.”

My brows lifted as I took a drag. “Good. You need to eat.”

“Yeah, well, I woke up with a hell of a headache, so I didn’t really have a choice.”

I cleared my throat and looked away, tugging at my ear. Pretty much what I figured.

A moment of silence fell between us, save for the music, and he bristled, glaring over his shoulder in my direction. “That bitch?”

I snickered, rather proud he was using my nickname for Tyler, as well. “Yup,” I sighed, flicking the ashes off. “Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually miss that motherfucker. Tiny, too,” I added carefully, watching for his reaction.

He completely deflated, his chin bowing low between his shoulders. “Yeup,” he croaked and then coughed. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you go visit her, Vin?”

He shook his head and straightened his stance, taking a drag. “It’s too soon. She and the kids need time to adjust to their new lives. Me barging in right now would be intrusive. Maybe next…year.”

I cringed at how hard it was for him to say that. Other than when he was in jail, he’d never been apart from her and even then, she visited regularly. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. Better yet, how was she handling this? She had been a complete basket case when he was incarcerated. So much, she fell prey to Jackyl’s insidious plans. At least we could rest assured Tyler had no ill intentions. She was safe with him.

So long as he could stay clean.

My lips pursing, I shook my head and dismissed that thought. The whole time we were in Georgia, he showed no signs of cravings, wouldn’t even look at the beer me and Vincent drank in front of him. That man’s addictions were in his past, so long as he had Violetta at his side.

My focus lifted to his back, relieved the scrapes from the glass were already faded. I admired the dips of the faint muscles, knowing they could, and would, be much more pronounced. If he felt this goddamn good now, I couldn’t wait until we were both back in top shape. Christ, feeling those hard muscles gyrating against me would be amazing.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He visibly tensed, knowing exactly what I meant by “it.” Coughing and pulling his nape, his voice was gravelly when he answered. “It’s my fault. There ain’t nothing to talk about.”

I swung my legs to the side and hoisted myself to my feet, barely feeling any pain this time. Crossing the expansive deck to stand beside him, I rested my hip to the railing so I faced his profile. “Vin, deep in your heart, you gotta know that ain’t true.”

“Do I?” he wheezed, squinting one eye against the lingering sunrays to look at me. “When I was in jail, it was so fucking lonely, Dash, and there was this guy.”

A brow arching, I flashed a small smile. “A guy?”

A small snort caught the back of his throat. “Yeah. He actually reminded me a lot of you.”

The smile vanished, my pulse picking up.

“We kissed a few times and then…one day, I let him suck my dick.”

“Did you like it?”

He cast a glare out the corner of his eye. “You ever got head you didn’t like? Even bad head is good head.”

“True,” I snorted, crossing my arms and lifting the hand with the cigarette to take a drag.

He pulled a deep breath, staring out at the woods. “I felt so ashamed of myself afterward, I actually threw up. Never even spoke to him again. I did tell Billy when he came to visit.”

He visited him? Damn, now I was feeling like a first-class dick because I never visited him, even though he wouldn’t have even been there had it not been for me. Why had I not checked on him more? My own shame? I never hid the fact I felt a heavy sense of guilt that he’d taken the fall for me.

“He lost his mind, Dash,” he muttered barely above a whisper. “He told me then he was gonna kill himself because he couldn’t live with the idea I wanted someone else. It got so bad, he was escorted out and was not allowed to visit the rest of the time I was there.”